Chapter 10 #2
“Then you will have a definitive answer. Only then can you begin to heal.” He moved toward the shadows that marked the boundary of my garden, turning at a large topiary.
“But I suspect she will not say no. I suspect she is as miserable as you are, and simply needs permission to choose herself for once in her life.”
He vanished, leaving me alone with the lotus flowers and the most dangerous thing of all: hope.
I spent the next week watching her through the ankh.
Not directly, I mean. I could not see through her eyes or invade her privacy, but I could sense her emotional state and feel the echoes of her days through our connection.
She woke each morning, and the first thing she did was touch the pendant. It became her ritual, a reminder, a connection to me.
She spent time with her daughter. I felt the warmth of that love, the maternal bond that had pulled her away from me. It was beautiful, fierce, and exactly what I would expect from Jessica. She was a fantastic mother. Never had I questioned that.
Underneath the love and the duty, I felt the loneliness she carried.
She went through the motions. Day in and day out, she prepared meals, drove her daughter places, and attended to household tasks. But she derived no joy in it, no sense of purpose beyond obligation. She was numb again, the same numbness she had described feeling before she arrived in Egypt.
Before me.
At night, she touched the ankh and whispered my name. Not calling me - she never said it with the intent that would summon me across the distance - but saying it like a prayer, like a talisman against the darkness. She said my name as if it brought her comfort.
I wanted to go to her. Every fiber of my being demanded I manifest in her home, appear before her, and demand she acknowledge what we both felt.
But I waited. While I did, I researched.
Perhaps Osiris had a point. People moved about and worshiped in different manners.
I visited Cleopatra’s long-forgotten library and searched for answers.
Finding none to solve my current predicament, I wore my glamour and walked around Cairo, absorbing all I could and studying modern humans.
I would wait forever for Jessica. She was not ready yet.
I had spent lifetimes learning patience. I could wait a little longer.
On the thirty-seventh day after her departure, something changed.
I felt a spike of pure panic through the ankh. Her fear was so intense it made my essence recoil. Jessica was in danger.
I manifested immediately; the underworld falling away as I focused on our connection. The world blurred and reformed, and I stood in my glamour in what appeared to be a hospital waiting room.
Jessica was there, pacing, her face pale and tear-stained. The daughter, Sophie, I remembered, was nowhere to be seen.
“Jessica,” I said, and she spun toward me.
Her eyes went wide. “Anubis? How? What are you doing here?”
“You were afraid. I felt it through the ankh. What happened?”
“Sophie.” Her voice broke. “She collapsed. The doctors think it’s appendicitis.
She’s in surgery right now. They said it was close to rupturing, and if we’d waited even a few more hours…
” She pressed her hands to her face. “I called for you. I didn’t mean to.
I know I shouldn’t have, but I was so scared and I just… I needed you.”
I crossed to her in three strides and pulled her into my arms. She collapsed against me, sobbing, and I held her while she shook.
“I am here,” I murmured into her hair. “I will always come when you call. Always.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know I left, I know I made my choice, but Anubis, I’ve been miserable. Every day without you has been torture, and I don’t know how to live like this.”
My heart, metaphorical though it was, clenched. “Jessica.”
“Don’t.” She pulled back to look at me, her eyes red and swollen. “Don’t say anything yet. Sophie needs me right now. Can you…” she cleared her throat. “Can you stay? Please? Just until I know she’s okay?”
“Of course.”
We sat together in the waiting room, her hand gripped in mine, and I watched the mortals around us try to make sense of my presence.
To them, I appeared as a tall man in dark clothing, unremarkable.
But Jessica saw the truth. She saw the jackal’s eyes, the divine essence barely contained in human form.
“Thank you for coming,” she said after a while.
“I told you I would. Wherever you are, whatever the cost.”
“I didn’t think you meant literally.”
“I meant every word.”
A doctor emerged, and Jessica shot to her feet. I stood with her, ready to catch her if the news was bad.
But the doctor smiled. “Surgery went well. We got it in time. She’s in recovery now, and you can see her in about an hour.”
Jessica sagged with relief, and I steadied her. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
The doctor left, and Jessica turned to me. “She’s okay. My baby is going to be okay.”
“Yes.”
“I called you and you came.”
“I will always come.”
We stared at each other, the hospital’s fluorescent lights harsh and unflattering, the smell of antiseptic heavy in the air. There was nothing romantic about this place. Nothing magical, but it felt that way to me.
“I made a mistake,” Jessica whispered. “Leaving you. I thought I was doing the right thing, choosing my responsibilities over my happiness. But I’ve been so miserable, Anubis. So completely miserable. And I don’t want to live like that anymore.”
My breath caught. I hadn’t asked her to make a choice. I hadn't asked her to choose me, and I hoped I understood her. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want to choose myself for once. I choose us. Even if it’s complicated and messy and makes no logical sense, I choose us, because you make me happy.” She gripped my hand tighter. “Ask me again. Ask me to stay.” Her voice took on a begging quality.
“Jessica, I cannot ask you to abandon your life here.”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering. Ask me.” She held my gaze. “Ask me again, Anubis.”
I looked at the mortal woman who had turned my world upside down, who had made me feel alive again, who was offering me everything I wanted most, and something cracked open in my chest.
“Stay with me,” I said. “Not in Egypt, not in some distant palace. Here. In your world, your life. Let me be a part of it, however that looks. Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
“Yes,” she said with no hesitation. “Yes, absolutely yes.”
I kissed her there in the hospital waiting room with its terrible lighting and uncomfortable chairs, and felt the universe shift.
A god and a mortal, choosing together.
Death and life.
We were eternal and finite, choosing each other anyway.
It made no sense, but somehow was perfect.