Chapter 11 #2
There. Just by that cluster of weird, twisting willows. A figure in a dark t-shirt, leaning against the bark with that signature slouch. The messy hair. The way he crosses his ankles.
It’s him.
“WES!”
I don’t wait for the others. I take off sprinting, my legs pumping hard, tearing up the perfect grass. Relief floods me so hot and fast I almost puke. I’m going to tackle him. I’m going to hug him until his ribs crack.
“Bro! Stay there!”
I skid to a halt at the tree line, breath heaving in my chest.
“Wes?”
But there’s no one there. Just a gnarled branch casting a shadow that looks like a shoulder, and a patch of dark moss that looks like hair.
Nothing. My knees almost give out.
“Fuck!” I slam my fist into the trunk. The bark is hard, and the pain shoots all the way up to my shoulder. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I think I really did lose my mind in the white sand.
A hand touches my back. Theo. She’s out of breath, her face pale.
“He’s not there?” she whispers.
“I thought I saw him, Tee. I swear to Gods.” I rub my face, trying to scrub away the image. “It’s like my brain is projecting him because I can’t handle him not being here. It’s like missing a limb.”
My brain starts, like, trembling. What if I’m not really here? Am I still in the white sand place? I stroke the blades of grass beneath my hand. They feel genuine, but who even knows.
What if Theo is just one of the rock piles and I’m actually completely mad?
The vibrations in my head are getting out of control, and my breath is coming out in gasps.
Breath. Ha. No air here, you idiot. Remember? You’re alone in the desert.
A hand touches my shoulder, making me recoil. “Not real, not real. Go away,” I chant out loud, trying to get rid of the illusions.
“Donovan, my love, I'm real.” The phantom grabs my face, forcing my chin up. “Feel this? I'm solid.” Warm lips press against mine. “Feel this? I'm here.”
Oh my Gods. That’s right. She is here.
I collapse into Theo, burying my head into her neck. “Don't let me go. If you let go, I'll wake up back in the sand.”
“I’m never letting you go.” Theo keeps me pressed up tight to her body. Now I feel like an idiot again. Get it together, Hart.
“Sorry for losing it, baby,” I croak, my voice still rough.
“I can’t even imagine what you’re going through,” she whispers, peppering kisses into my hair. “But everything will be better when we find Wes. And we will find him.” She leans her head against my arm. “He’s close. I can feel it.”
“Yeah, baby,” I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. The hollow feeling in my chest doesn’t go away, but her warmth keeps the fear of cold, white sand at bay.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I realize I’m trying to wipe away imaginary dust. “OK. I’m good. Let’s keep going.”
Most of the pleasure of walking through the Shire has disappeared. And Merry and Pippin still don’t show.
Theo keeps a firm hold of my hand, which keeps me from feeling totally bereft. I realize that everyone has gone pretty silent, especially Cos. I reach out and tap him on the shoulder.
He flinches.
“Whoa, little jumpy are we? How are you doing?”
Cosmo has been more broody than usual since we stepped into this place.
“I’m fine,” he snaps, obviously anything but fine.
“Come on, bro, it’s like we just entered a fairy tale. What's got your balls twisted?”
“Fairy tales aren’t just about fairies,” he says, giving me one of his classic Drakeward glares. “There are an equal number of villains in the stories: trolls, giants, witches…and, you know, dragons.”
Ugh-oh, I’m a little out of my depth. Wes is the one who can handle Cosmo when he gets feelings.
I give Cos what I hope is an encouraging shrug. “And?”
A vein jumps in his jaw. “And I shouldn’t be here! I’m the villain. This place feels wrong, like I want to peel my skin off—you know?”
“No, Cos. I truly don’t.”
He makes a h-rumphing sound. “That’s because centaurs are team good-guys. I’m not that, never been that, never will be that. This fucking fairy glade isn’t the kind of place that welcomes me. Truthfully, I expect to be ejected anytime soon.”
Seems a little paranoid to me. “Chill, brother. You’ve really got to do something about your self-esteem.”
“There is nothing wrong with my self-esteem,” he growls. “I know who I am—the most powerful witch of our generation. But I also know I am not a particularly good man.”
Yikes!
“That’s bullshit. You’ve always been a great friend to me, and what would Aurora’s life be like without you?”
We’re walking through a field of delicate flowers. It must be the end of their growing season. The little blue bells droop with a brown tinge around the edge. I stoop down and pick one that still looks perky. “Stop being such a downer, Cos. Stick this behind your ear and put a smile on your face.”
I reach over with the sparkly bluebell and try to snake it into his golden hair.
He gives me an irritated look, but doesn't move away.
The moment the stem touches his skin, the bright blue petals turn black. They don't just wilt; they disintegrate, shriveling into gray dust that falls onto his shoulder like ash. The rot travels down the stem in my hand, stopping just inches from my fingers.
I drop it, horrified.
Max is watching us, his eyes wide. “What the fuck?” he mouths to me.
“What’s wrong?” Cosmo snaps, brushing the ash off his sweater.
“Nothing,” I lie, forcing a smile. “Guess blue just isn’t your color.”
An alarm is sounding in my head. A klaxon blaring ‘wrong, wrong, wrong’.
Maybe Cosmo really is the Sauron in this Hobbit’s tale.
Not good. Not good at all.