Chapter 16
Cleo
The question haunted me over the next five cycles.
I threw myself into work, spending plenty of hours in the tech chambers with Venith, teaching her everything I knew. Walking her through every system, every repair procedure, every diagnostic routine. I made detailed recordings, step-by-step instructions for maintenance she’d need to do on her own.
Preparing to leave.
Even though the thought of leaving made my chest ache.
Venith was a quick study, asking intelligent questions and taking meticulous notes. She’d become a friend over the weeks we’d worked together, and I could see the sadness in her eyes when she realized what all this instruction meant.
“You’re really going,” she said on the fifth day, as we finished recording the last of the power distribution protocols.
“Probably.” I saved the file and sat back. “When my crew comes back, I’ll have to decide.”
“Will you come back? Ever?”
The question caught me off guard. “I don’t know. Maybe?”
“I hope so.” She smiled, but it was tinged with sorrow. “You’ve taught us so much. Not just about the technology, but about thinking differently. About possibilities we never imagined.”
“You’ll do great,” I said, meaning it. “You understand these systems better than anyone. And you have all the documentation now. You don’t need me.”
“Maybe not for the technology,” she said quietly. “But the valley will be less bright without you.”
I had to look away before I started crying. Never in my life had I cried so much until I arrived on this planet.
That evening, as I was leaving the grow facility, I walked straight into Rezor.
He looked as terrible as I felt. Dark circles under his eyes. His skin was a dull bronze that suggested exhaustion or stress. His marks, which usually glowed whenever I was near, were barely visible beneath his shirt.
We both stopped, the space between us feeling like a canyon. His eyes briefly flared fuchsia.
“Cleo.” My name on his lips made something in my chest twist painfully.
“Rezor.” It took real effort to sound casual. Calm. Inside, I was anything but.
“What are you doing?” he asked. “I’ve heard you’ve been frequenting the tech chambers for cycles now.”
“Teaching Venith.” I kept my voice level, professional. “Making sure all the knowledge transfer is complete. Recording everything so the systems can be maintained when I’m not here. Although, you’ll have access to more advanced tech now that the planet is open. You won’t need any of this.”
Something flickered across his face. Pain, maybe. Or resignation. “So you’re planning to leave.”
It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway. “I’m planning to be prepared. For whatever choice I make.”
“I see.”
We stood there with silence stretching between us. I should walk away. Should maintain the distance I’d carefully constructed over the past five cycles.
But part of me was screaming to move closer. To feel his arms around me. To breathe in his scent and feel the warmth of his marks against my skin.
“Cleo—” he started.
“I need to go.” The words came out harsher than I’d intended. “Mierva and Baleck are waiting for me.”
“Of course.” He stepped aside, giving me space to pass.
I moved forward, but as I drew level with him, my body betrayed me. I swayed slightly, drawn toward him like a magnet. The pull was physical, undeniable. My skin ached for his touch. My hands wanted to reach for him.
I forced myself to keep walking. To put one foot in front of the other even though everything in me wanted to turn around. To run back to him. To forget about choices and freedom and all the reasons I was hurt. What you want, not what you don’t want.
Behind me, I heard him say my name again. Soft. Broken.
I didn’t turn around. I couldn’t. Because if I looked at him, if I saw the pain in his eyes that I could hear in his voice, I’d crack. I’d give in. I’d forgive him before I was ready to forgive.
I made it around the corner before the tears started.
My chest hurt. Actually, physically hurt, like something was being torn in half. My throat felt tight. My eyes burned. And underneath it all was this desperate, clawing need to go back. To feel his arms around me. To hear him say my name like it was precious.
Stars, I missed him.
I missed curling against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I missed being wrapped in his warmth. I missed the way he looked at me like I was the most important thing in his world. I missed the weight of his gaze, the heat of his marks, the way his hands knew exactly how to touch me.
I missed him so much it felt like dying.
But I was also still hurt. Still angry. Still terrified that loving him meant losing myself.
Back in the guest quarters, Mierva took one look at my face and pulled me into a hug. I cried into her shoulder like I hadn’t let myself cry in cycles. All the pain and confusion and desperate longing poured out in broken sobs.
“I saw him,” I managed between gasps. “On my way back here. And it hurt, Mierva. It hurt so much.”
“I know,” she said softly. “I know.”
“I want to go back. I want to run back there and tell him I love him and I forgive him and I don’t care about anything else.
” The words tumbled out. “But I can’t. I can’t just forget and pretend that nothing happened.
How?” I pulled back from Mierva, wiping my face.
“How do I forgive something that hurt this much?”
“By deciding that your future together is more important than his past mistakes,” Mierva said. “By believing that he can change. That he will change, because he loves you enough to try.”
“What if he doesn’t? What if this is who he is? What if loving him always means fighting for my freedom?”
“Then you leave,” Baleck said simply. “But Cleo, you won’t know unless you give him the chance to prove himself. When our crew comes back, you’ll see what kind of male he really is. Whether his words about letting you choose were true or just convenient.”
I nodded, exhausted by my own emotions. “I’m so tired of feeling like this.”
“I know,” Mierva said. “But it won’t be much longer. Our people will come back, and when they do, you’ll know what to do.” She tapped a finger to the center of my chest. “You’ll know it in here.”
That night, I lay in my bed and stared at the ceiling. Not far away, Rezor was probably doing the same thing. Both of us alone. Both of us hurting. Both of us waiting for a decision that would change everything.
I thought about what Mierva had asked me. What did I actually want?
I wanted freedom. The ability to make my own choices, to chart my own course. I wanted to explore, to learn, to keep growing instead of staying static.
But I also wanted Rezor. Wanted his laugh, his strength, his fierce protectiveness that sometimes went too far but came from a place of love. Wanted to wake up beside him and build something together in this strange, beautiful valley.
I wanted both.
The question was whether I could have both. Whether there was a way to be free and be his. Or whether those two things were fundamentally incompatible.
Our people would come back. Soon, probably. Zara wouldn’t wait long. She’d gather whatever resources she needed and return with an unstoppable force, determined to bring me home.
When she did, I’d have to choose. Stay or go. Rezor or freedom. The valley or the stars.
Except maybe Mierva was right. Maybe those weren’t the only options. Maybe there was a third path, one I couldn’t see yet because I was too hurt and too scared to look for it.
I closed my eyes, feeling tears leak from the corners. Everything felt like it was balanced on the edge of a knife. One wrong move and it would all come crashing down.
But I couldn’t stay suspended in this painful limbo forever. Eventually, I’d have to step forward. To make the choice. To build the life I wanted instead of just avoiding the one I feared.
I just hoped that when the moment came, I’d be brave enough to choose right.