Chapter Twenty-Three - Chapter Twenty-Two
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Chapter Twenty-Two
LAST NIGHT’S EVENTS still clung to my mind like a stubborn shadow as I pushed Ellie in her stroller towards the dance studio. Thank God for Casimir. His steady friendship and comforting shoulder to cry on had given me the strength to face the world today.
Telling Dad I quit my job loomed over me. I’d think of an excuse and hope he wouldn’t be too suspicious. It was liberating to know I had finally done it. Yes , things would be tougher, but my conscience was clearer, my self-esteem stronger.
The conversation with Casimir had been a revelation. I hadn’t been happy since I started working there, and admitting it felt like shedding a heavy burden. Dancing isn’t inherently bad; it’s about personal choice and happiness.
It wasn’t a choice that made me happy; I wasn’t cut out for it.
The moment I pushed open the studio door, a blast of cold air hit me, making me shiver. I picked up Ellie, her weight a comforting reality in my arms, and flipped on the light switch. The fluorescent lights flickered hesitantly, casting jittery shadows that amplified my unease.
The studio was eerily quiet, save for the soft sounds of my footsteps and Ellie’s occasional babble. I looked toward the mirrors lining the walls and they seemed to warp and twist, reflecting a distorted version of reality. The barres stood like silent sentinels against the mirrored walls, their reflections thin and ghostly.
I settled Ellie in her portable crib; her giggles contradicting my rising anxiety. As I began stretching at one of the barres, a pricking sensation at the back of my neck made me feel as if I were being watched.
To calm myself, I turned on some warm-up music.
The beats filled the hollow space, bouncing off the walls and momentarily easing my nerves. But then, from the corner of my eye, I saw the end of the window curtains flutter, even though there was no breeze and was that a shadow?
I swallowed hard, my fear escalating.
Ellie clapped her tiny hands to the rhythm, her joy piercing through my dread. I turned off the music, the sudden silence amplifying the chill in the room. A sense of unease settled over me, heavier than before.
A subtle creak from above, like someone tiptoeing in the storage loft, made my heart skip a beat. I strained to listen, every muscle tensed. Another whisper, faint but distinct, called my name.
My heart pounded against my ribs, my breath caught in my throat. Moving slowly towards the door, I called out, “Hello? Is anyone there?” My voice echoed back, twisted and hollow in the empty space. Clutching my chest, I fought to control my racing heart. Even Ellie’s laughter took on an eerie quality, magnified by the silence.
Then, a chilling, ghostly voice sounded, “I hate you.”
Panic surged through me. My eyes darted around, trying to pinpoint the source. Footsteps echoed down the hallway, growing louder with each step. I glanced at Ellie, ensuring she was safe, before grabbing a cane left propped in the corner. Holding it tightly, I edged towards the doorway.
The footsteps drew closer, each one hammering at my nerves. I peeked around the corner, cane raised, ready to defend myself. “Madeline? What’s going on?”
Relief washed over me as I saw Sean standing there, his expression confused. I sagged against the wall, lowering the cane, my breath coming out in shaky gasps.
“Sean,” I whispered, my voice trembling, “What are you doing here?”
“I came to check on you. After what happened last night, I’ve been worried,” he said, his eyes scanning the room before settling on me. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I forced a shaky laugh, my grip on the cane loosening. “I guess I spooked myself. This place feels different today.”
Sean stepped closer, his presence reassuring. “You’re not alone. I’m here now.”
I nodded, trying to steady my racing heart. “Luckily, I didn’t bang you over the head with this cane,” I chuckled, leaning the cane back against the wall.
He laughed before giving me a small smile, then glanced towards the loft. “Do you want me to check up there?”
The thought of him going up alone sent a fresh wave of anxiety through me. “No, it’s fine. It’s probably just my imagination running wild.”
“Alright, but if you hear anything else, let me know.” His tone was firm, leaving no room for argument.
Ellie’s giggles broke the tension, her innocent joy making me smile. I turned back to her, my heart finally beginning to calm. Sean’s presence had done wonders to soothe my nerves.
“Let’s make sure you were only imagining hearing things,” Sean suggested, still looking concerned. “Let me have a look around.”
“Yeah, now that you’re here, I won’t feel so afraid,” I agreed, glad for the offer.
We spent the next fifteen minutes checking the studio, the mundane task grounding me back to reality. The eerie feeling gradually dissipated, replaced by the comfort of routine and Sean’s presence. But the whispered voice lingered in the back of my mind... did I imagine it?
As we finished, Sean looked at me with a serious expression. “Madeline, if something’s bothering you, you can tell me. You don’t have to handle it alone. That guy was way out of line last night and paid for it. Don’t quit the club out of fear.”
I met his gaze, appreciating the concern in his eyes. “I appreciate the concern, really, but it’s for the best that I find another job. It’s not only about last night.”
“I understand,” he said, smiling at Ellie, who started pulling at his shirt to gain his attention. “We’re still on for Sunday, right?”
I forgot with everything going on, but I couldn’t back out. Sean had been very sweet to me. “Yeah, we’re still on.”
The sound of people coming in for my class sounded. “I’ll see you Sunday,” he said, once again leaning down to kiss my cheek, surprising me before he walked out of the studio. I sighed, wishing I felt something for Sean other than friendship, but you couldn’t argue with your heart. It doesn’t lie, no matter how much it’s killing you.
I was in love with a man who didn’t deserve those dying beats.
With the studio finally feeling normal again with the sound of my students, I got on with my day. A few hours later, as I pushed Ellie out the door, I still couldn’t shake the feeling that someone or something was watching, waiting.
I WAS WATCHING and waiting for an opportunity to corner Madeline, to refresh her memory of just who owned her heart. Every part of me was a walking contradiction, veering off course at every turn, but right now, it felt like the car was driving itself.
This morning’s plan to see her was ruined by Sean sniffing around her like a dog in heat. And with Ellie by her side, my intended reminder wasn’t fit for a child’s eyes. So, I followed her, ensuring her safety, but now it was time for work.
Madeline wouldn’t be here tonight since she had quit last night after that scene with Asher. Worry gnawed at me, not just for her safety but for Sean’s if he dared cross my path. So far, he had taken the hint and kept his distance. When I dealt with him, it would be somewhere no one could play the hero.
“I guess that guy didn’t try to press charges,” Snipe said, leaning on the wall next to me. His voice was a rough whisper, blending into the hum of the club.
“Why the fuck would he press charges after what he did?” I snarled, my fists clenching at the memory, heat rising up my neck.
“Because guys like that think their word is gold while someone like Mandy’s is trash, that’s why,” Snipe replied, his eyes scanning the crowd, vigilant.
“Well, I know Asher Collins, and he won’t soil his precious name by admitting he was even in the club,” I replied firmly. “And he’s still going to get his, but word is he left town.”
“I figured there was some personal shit involved,” Snipe said, pushing off the wall. “Just make sure whatever happens is far away from this club.”
“You know it,” I smirked, watching him walk away. My eyes swiftly swept the room, not pausing on the stage. Once you’ve had a taste of the purest diamond, nothing else will do. These women were cheap imitations, false gold.
I fucking missed her.
The night wore on, each minute amplifying the unshakable sense of wishing Madeline was here. The neon lights of the strip club painted everything in garish, artificial colors, and the bass of the background music pounded in my chest. I leaned against the wall, watching the crowd. Their eyes never strayed from the strippers, who performed with eyes devoid of sincerity or emotion.
Not that it mattered. These men weren’t here for emotions; they were here for tits, ass, and whatever form of sex they could buy on the side.
Finally, the night ended, and I headed to Madeline’s place. The place was dark, the silence almost oppressive. My chest tightened with each passing moment as I stared at her darkened windows, wishing I was in bed with her right now, holding her tight as I made love to her over and over.
Defeated, I turned back to the clubhouse.
The party was in full swing as always. Laughter sounded through the corridors, filled with familiar faces; my brothers in arms who’d seen hell and high water with me. The smell of alcohol and smoke was thick in the air, mingling with the scent I had known my whole life. It never changed.
Not wanting to face my ghosts, I sat at a table, drinking and playing cards, drowning my problems in alcohol until I was drunk.
Tracy was there, her eyes watching me from across the room, her lips teasing a smile as she raised a bottle of beer in my direction. She was trying hard, but tonight, her flirtatious glances were less inviting. Madeline’s absence had left a void that Tracy couldn’t fill. It was the same as the strippers at Twisted Heat, comparing darkness to the sun.
“Cheer up, Valley,” she drawled, sliding onto the chair next to me when the game ended. Her perfume, a floral scent, wasn’t the sweet smell of Madeline’s perfume, again reminding me she wasn’t what I wanted.
“You’re not gonna sulk all night, are ya?” She nudged me with her elbow, her eyes sparkling mischievously under the harsh lights of our clubhouse.
I responded with a smirk, though my mind was miles away. “I’m too drunk to do anything.”
She grinned wide, and I found myself drinking even more, trying to drown out thoughts of Madeline in the bottom of a whiskey bottle. Hours blurred together; laughter grew louder, and the alcohol kept coming.
Tracy stayed close, her face swimming in my vision as I tried to focus. As the night wore down, she got closer, her laughter loud over the thumping rock music. My senses blurred with each passing moment, and I wondered when the fuck I would pass out.
Tracy leaned into me, her hand tracing lazy patterns on my thigh as she whispered into my ear, “I can make you forget her.”
My head spun, and I shook it, trying to clear my vision. “There isn’t enough whiskey in the world to make me forget Madeline, so you’re sure as hell not going to do it,” I muttered, pushing up from the table and heading outside, hoping the night air would clear my head.
I leaned on the wall and groaned, seeing Tracy had followed me out. “Leave,” I growled, wanting to be alone.
“But, Valley,” she whispered, her voice barely audible amid the loud laughter and music coming from the clubhouse. “Don’t you feel anything for me?”
“I do feel,” I admitted quietly. “But not what you want me to. It was just sex.” I gave a small shrug. “My body needed to fuck, and that was all... a release.”
Her face crumpled slightly, her disappointment clear. She looked away, focusing on the night sky. The crack of balls breaking apart sounding sharply in the night air, mirroring the fracture spreading across Tracy’s face with each passing second.
“Madeline...” She began hesitantly, but stopped herself, a misplaced mix of defiance and resignation flashing in her eyes.
“... has my heart,” I finished for her, too drunk to shut the fuck up instead of telling her things that were none of her business. “She’s what I want, Tracy. That isn’t gonna change.”
I saw a flicker of something in her eyes as she heard the firm resolution in my words. She nodded slowly, blinking back a sheen of moisture. A bitter smile played on her lips as she pushed away from the wall.
“Thanks for being honest, Valley,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She took one last glance at me before turning and disappearing back inside.
Left alone, I stared into the dark, wondering how my simple life had gotten so complicated.
My fingers traced the worn patches on my vest, moving over familiar names and symbols etched into the fabric. My mind drifted back to Madeline, and I let it. I slid down the wall, my back against the building, legs stretched in front of me.
The night wore on, fading into the early rays of dawn. The laughter died down, whisky bottles emptied, and one by one, bikers trickled out until only a few remained. In the night’s silence, sleep finally took me.