Rune
Steam billows through the room when I finally turn the shower off.
Washing the impossible rain out of my hair was supposed to make me feel better. But every time I closed my eyes, I pictured myself back in that cave. And every time I opened my eyes, I felt disappointment.
Which. Is. Crazy.
I am going crazy.
That’s the gift the universe has given me on this, my thirtieth, birthday.
I run my fingers through my wet hair, separating it into sections, and squeeze the extra water out before I stick my hand past the curtain and pull my towel off its hook.
Dried off, hair twisted in a second towel, I pull the curtain back.
My damp shorts look back at me. And the sight of them, with my underwear, has that heat building in my core again.
Gritting my teeth, I step out of the shower.
Then I open the cabinet under the sink. Grab my vibrator. And stomp out of the bathroom.
“Fine. You know what? You win, universe.” I shake the teal silicone toy up at the ceiling. “I give up.”
I storm around my apartment, pulling the blackout curtains shut, blocking out the late afternoon sun.
“I’m not fighting today. It’s my birthday.”
I ignore the unopened gift from my parents on the table.
Thinking about bracelets right now is going to send me into an absolute spiral.
“I’m going to enjoy myself.” I grab my phone, then toss it and the toy onto my mattress. “I imagined it all.”
I drop my towel. Pull the other one off my hair. Then I climb into the comfort of my bed.