34. Chapter 34
Nightmaresoffangs,claws, and fur shatter my sleep. Gasping for breath, I sit bolt upright in the bed, pressing a hand to my chest as I try to calm my racing heart. A soft snore sounds to my left and I rub at my eyes, trying to dislodge the sleep from the corners of them. Bane is still lying next to me, his arm slung over his face and the wounds I can see are just faint lines of red.
I glance to my right, and Diego is there as well. His body is turned towards mine as he murmurs in his sleep. I”m home, I”m safe, the monsters are dead, I made sure of that by killing Rufus. I only wish he”d been made to suffer as much as the other women he had kidnapped, but it”s too late to think about that now.
I lie back on the bed between Diego and Bane. My body and mind are exhausted, but sleep evades me. I let out a huff and notice how dry my mouth is. Trying not to disturb the guys, I crawl to the end of the bed and sit on the edge as I pull my robe tight around my body, redoing the knot on the belt at my waist.
”Where are you going, tesoro?” I turn to look at Diego. He”s alert now, resting back on his elbows in a half-seated position.
”I”m gonna get a glass of water.”
”Would you like me to get it for you?” Diego moves to sit behind me. His thighs rest on either side of mine.
He brushes my hair away from my shoulder, kissing down the column of my neck to my shoulder and I rest back against him. Diego”s tongue darts out, licking at the point where the two meet. With his arms snaking around my waist, he clasps his hands in front of me and I rest mine on top of his.
”It’s okay, I”ll go.” He squeezes me gently before loosening his grip on me, planting one last kiss on my neck.
Standing, I smile down at him and make my way out of my bedroom and to the kitchen. The only lights on are those above the breakfast bar, which is where I find Jax sitting on a stool, a glass of dark liquid in his hand and a bottle of the same in front of him.
When I get closer, Jax lifts his head, his green eyes boring into mine. He’s a mess. Although he”s showered and changed his clothes since he found me with the others, the dark circles under his eyes tell an entirely different story. His usually styled hair hangs limply down across his forehead. I don”t know what possesses me, but I raise my hand and give him a little wave. His lips lift into a small smile, but it”s gone all too soon.
”Can I help you, Demetria?” He sounds annoyed, like I”ve interrupted him.
”I... thirsty... water.” I stammer the words out. Way to sound like a moron, Demi.
Jax stands abruptly and moves to the cupboard behind him to grab a glass before he takes it to the sink and fills it. Then he”s in front of me, so close he”s getting in my personal space. He holds the glass between us, and I snatch it from his grasp, taking a few steps away from him. I lift it to my lips and take a sip. The cool liquid slips down my throat, lubricating the dryness.
Fidgeting as I drink the water, I eye Jax. He doesn”t move a single step toward me as his eyes drift over me from head to toe, his gaze making me freeze on the spot. A hand suddenly reaches toward me before he withdraws it again. He lets out a sigh before he turns and walks back to the breakfast bar. He picks up his glass and downs the contents before he refills it again.
Shaking myself out of my stupor, I walk over to one of the other stools and sit, keeping one empty space between us. Jax makes my body react in so many ways, anger and lust being the main two. I want to keep my distance at the same time as wanting to crawl into his lap and have him kiss me like he did in the cave.
”Now the wolves are gone. I”ll get out of your hair in the morning. I know my presence irritates you.” I”m not sure if that”s entirely true, but he is so hot and cold with me all the time. How am I meant to know how he really feels?
”They don”t want you to leave. Diego and Bane, I mean.” He lifts the glass to his lips and takes a sip. I watch him out of the corner of my eye, noting the scowl on his face. “I think they”d follow you to the ends of the world if you gave them half a chance.”
”This was never a permanent thing, though, was it? You only kept me here until you could deal with the wolves, and now you have. I have a life to go back to, a job, one which I”ll be surprised to still have when I get back there.” Jax shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He sets his glass back down, but I can see his fingers flexing around it as his knuckles go white.
”So much has happened since you dropped into my life, our lives, Demetria.” He takes another sip of his drink. ”I thought I wouldn”t see you again when the wolves took you and I regret every decision I made until that point. I”d burn the world to the ground for you.”
I”m taken aback by his words, my mind struggling to grasp what he means. My lips part and I start to speak, but he doesn”t give me a chance.
”I”ve been alive for a very long time. Much longer than both Diego and Bane. I”ve loved and lost, so I refused to let the same thing happen again. Things were different when I was first turned. My sire had his own nest, his own children, long before humans knew anything about us. He was the true meaning of the word monster. He kept humans as his slaves, fucking and draining their blood whenever he felt like it.”
Jax has my full attention now, I sit quietly.
“There was a woman, a human woman, and I grew to care for her. Maybe I even loved her, but she wasn’t mine. I approached my sire and asked for his permission to turn her. We planned to run away together. I didn’t want to be alone, but I didn’t want to remain in the nest either. Somehow he found out though. One evening when I retired to my room I found her fresh corpse in my bed. I didn”t want to risk getting too close and having you ripped away from me like she was.” I reach my hand across the space between us and place it on top of his, his eyes cut to me before he looks down at our hands.
”I’m sorry that happened to you.”
”After that, I didn”t want to get close to another human. You”re too fragile, your lives are so easily snuffed out. Then you entered the club, and then I saw you across the dance floor. I couldn”t stop myself from approaching you. When Diego found you in that alley I swore to myself that I wouldn”t give in to my feelings. But you crawled under my skin, Demetria.”
“I don”t understand. Half the time I don”t know if you hate me, or if you just want to fuck me. You”re so frustrating.” I pull my hand away from his and rest it in my lap.
”Likewise. You’re very being drives me wild, Demetria. I”ve never hated you, and I should have never let you think I did. That”s on me.” The fact I drive him wild excites me.
”I don’t know what it is about the three of you. It’s like there’s a connection that I just don’t understand. I glimpsed Bane on the door, and at first, he scared me. Then I saw Diego behind the bar, and I couldn”t stop myself from wanting him, even though he is one of the monsters I swore to stay away from. But you hurt me, Jax. You”ve been nothing but an asshole to me since I ended up here like I was some sort of inconvenience to you.”
”I don”t know how I can ever make it up to you, Demetria. But I will spend the rest of eternity trying if you”ll let me.”
”Eternity is a long time, Jax. Some of us don”t get to live forever.”
”Whatever time you will give me, I”ll take.” There’s more he isn’t telling me, but I don’t want to pry. It’s the first time Jax has really opened up to me about anything, I don’t want to ruin it.
I rise from the stool and sway a little. Jax jumps to his feet and rests his hand under my elbow so I can steady myself. My gaze shifts to where his fingers connect with my skin, and I feel it again, that confusing pull to him.
“Come, you need to sleep.” Jax leads me down the hall and back to the bedroom.
Bane and Diego are both still sprawled out on the bed, with a space between them just for me. Jax stares at them both, and the look of longing on his face only adds to my confusion. With a barely noticeable shake of his head, he brushes his lips against my forehead.
“Good night, Demetria.” And then he’s gone, leaving me at the threshold of the room.
Crawling back into the bed, I nestle between Diego and Bane and close my eyes. As if sensing my presence, they both shift closer to me. I lay my head on Bane’s chest, and Diego wraps an arm around my waist. It’s not long before sleep takes me.