Vampires, Moonshine, and Southern Secrets (Masie Kicklighter #2)

Prologue

To the editor of Supernatural Enquirer:

Hello. Me again. Masie Kicklighter.

The last time I wrote you, I was in prison for a murder I didn’t commit. (All Montgomery Stark’s wicked fault, of course. Ugh. Vampires!)

But this time, I am writing to confess to a murder.

Or pre-confess?

Whatever. Point is, this time I fully intend to kill that no good, lying POS Montgomery Stark—the world’s cruelest, most evil vampire.

Yeah, you heard me right.

I’m gonna kill, kill, kill that fangy man-trash! And I’m inviting you and your readers to join in your own murder-fun.

Now, before you start accusing me of sounding all crazy or like a woman scorned, I will admit that I’m spittin’ angry, but that’s not why I’m planning to end this beast of the night or why I’m urging you to do the same to your local evil vampire.

There is a new law about to pass, and it’ll give vampires “living” status. They want the same rights as humans!

Can you believe that crap? (Sorry, Mamma, I still can’t stop swearin’.)

Why any politician would vote for this pile of crusty turds boggles the mind, but I guess the lot in DC does love those donations. And vampires, well, they’re freakin’ loaded.

The only problem is that vampires have a plan, and spoiler alert: it don’t involve a peaceful coexistence with the livin’. They want to conquer us and make us feel all comfy-cozy and ooey-gooey warm inside until one day…blam! World domination.

Not that any of them bloodsuckers’ll say it to your face when you’re lying there naked in bed together.

They’ll tell you how perrrty you look. They’ll say things like they love you, that they “want to spend eternity making your toes tingle,” and that they’ve “waited their entire existence for you.” That’s what them nasty ol’ vampires will tell you.

Well, wanna know what I say?

Liars!

Every single one of them!

Especially that Montgomery Stark, who betrayed me in the worst possible way.

So you tell your readers that we got us a few days to kill as many evil vampires as possible. Do not wait! They can’t be trusted!

Especially the one who broke my heart. And for that, Montgomery Stark will pay.

Yours Truly,

Masie Kicklighter