Chapter Twenty-One
Over the past two years, I’d been through a lot.
Attacked, nearly killed, lost a good friend, discovered vampires were real, kidnapped by a vampire, forced to marry a vampire, tortured by him, set free, sent to prison, and then made to believe I was a vampire.
Every step of the way, I told myself I could make it through anything because I was a Kicklighter.
I had my family behind me. My friends. The customers at the Rooster.
However, this situation was different. I was in deep pucky (see, Mamma, still trying to stop swearin’), and there wasn’t a dang thing I could do about it.
A very powerful vampire was at Stark’s door, once again wanting to take me because I had become a Pac-Man power pellet in their world.
Funny how Stark had been right in a way. He’d told me that things were going to get real bumpy, and if I wanted to protect myself, I’d have to turn. Now I felt like a pretty little duck in a pond, the barrel of a shotgun pointed right at me.
The doorbell rang again, and I looked up at Stark with wide eyes as we stood in the middle of his master bedroom. “What if you lose?”
“Then you lie. Pretend you loathe me more than anything in this world.”
“That wouldn’t exactly be lyin’, now would it?” I planted a hand on my waist and tilted my head to one side.
“This is no time for your Southern sass, Masie. If I lose and he captures you, do anything in your power to make him believe you are on his side. Flatter him. Bide your time.” He pointed a finger at me.
“Keep your words short, do not look him in the eyes, or he will know you are lying, and above all, smile.”
“Smile?”
“You are very beautiful, and vampires find your perkiness rather irresistible. Won’t hurt to show a little cleavage, too.”
“Stark! This is stupid. Get me out of here.”
“I must face him,” he said.
“Now? Now you decide to stand up? You’ve done nothing but lie, cheat, and steal your entire life. Steal me away right now!”
Stark dipped his head of silky dark locks, his expression solemn. “If I do not face him and guard you with my life, he will know you are an imposter. Only a great and powerful vampire would risk everything for someone like Anna.”
“Way to compliment a girl there, champ.” I wasn’t a reincarnated vampire queen, but I wasn’t a used gum wrapper either.
“Do not look at me like that,” he scolded.
“Because this great and powerful vampire is really risking his life for you. You. Not her.” Stark came at me hard, snaked his arm around my back, and dipped me.
He pressed his mouth to mine, kissing me deeply.
The heat of his lips, the slow stroke of his tongue against mine, the sweetness of his breath—oh wait, that’s the air freshener—melted my body into his.
Suddenly, I was upright again, free of his embrace.
He licked his lips. “I really wish I could eat you one last time.”
“Me too.” Secret: I’d gone down on him more than once in the shower, and it had been hotter than our whiskey. “You have a very nice cock.”
“See. You are still wicked, Masie. Never change.” He kissed my cheek. “It has been a pleasure knowing you, despite your lack of German. And do not forget, when he turns you—”
“He’s gonna turn me?” No, no, no. If anyone was going to do it, it had to be Stark or Daddy. Not some stranger who was supposedly eviler than the rest.
“Very likely. And after he does, tell the vampire world to stand down. Tell them you were mistaken and coexistence is not possible.” Stark pulled a tiny gold amulet, shaped like a bullet, from his pocket and placed it in my hand.
This was the super moonshine? “Stark—”
“One drop is all you need, but do not take it until you are changed. Do you understand? Otherwise, it will drive you mad.”
I began to hyperventilate. “How do I make them listen?”
“Use that Kicklighter courage, and tap into their fears. Order them to leave immediately and relocate to my island or they will risk losing their wealth, positions, and covens.”
“You want me to tell two million vampires to move?” That was the size of their population according to Stark.
“Only a quarter are living out in the open.”
“That’s still a lot,” I said. “Where will we put them all?” Not that this would work. We would be trying to undo the Great Outing.
“They can share rooms in my cellars until new dwellings can be built. Ensure they understand the alternative is losing everything to Roman.” He stared for a long moment, as if wanting to say more, but instead rushed from the room.
“Hey! Please don’t…go?” My voice faded. Is this really happening? Was Stark really putting himself on the line for me? Was he trusting the fate of the world to a human?
Yes.
As dark as the situation felt, a sprinkle of pride surged through me. It didn’t make up for the garbage he’d put me through, but maybe I’d been wrong. He could change. Just enough to make me look for a weapon.
I went room to room upstairs, hoping to find a spear, knife, or even a Bible I could chuck at Roman. Sadly, all I found were more of Stark’s old books, his gold coin collection, a movie room, and enough antiques to fill an airport hangar. Someone needs a hoarding intervention.
I sprinted downstairs, unsure what to do other than create a diversion so Stark could gain the upper hand in the fight, but when I found them, I didn’t see two vampires tearing each other apart.
There was no blood.
No screaming.
Not even a fang.
The two men sat in the sprawling living room with the angelic ceiling murals, laughing and drinking wine.
“They are idiots.” The man with short, strawberry-blond hair and a deep voice I recognized from Charlie’s phone the other night chuckled. Roman. “The Swedish covens claim to have the largest brains, but we all know it does not make up for their incredibly small cocks.”
“Yes! Swedish vampires are exasperating. Always with their sweaters.” Stark laughed, throwing back his head in an armchair across from the sofa where Roman sat. “Almost as bad as the French vampires with their tiny red berets.”
They were trash-talking other covens like two schoolgirls. This was not a fight at all. Not in my world.
Unnoticed, and still barefoot, I padded behind the corner, hoping they wouldn’t hear me or catch my scent. Maybe I’ll blend in with the winter forest air freshener down here.
“Another glass?” Stark offered.
“No. Thank you,” said Roman. “But I am honored you would share your Marg Hoe with me. That is an extremely rare bottle.”
Wasn’t it Margaux?
“1855 was a solid year,” said Stark. “You can almost taste the industrial revolution.” Stark added, “So then, let us get down to business. Name your terms. I understand you wish to overthrow the current system?”
“Humans are practically begging for destruction,” Roman explained, “and we need a model—a very good-looking one—to shepherd us into a position of domination. Otherwise, how will vampires survive? Also, all this healthy, unprocessed food modern humans are eating lately tastes terrible. Organic lettuce. Bleh! Grass-fed beef? Terrible! Too earthy. I say we go back to basics. Only give them tasty food like Hydrox cookies or Vienna sausages. Oh, I really like the flavor of humans who use hydrogenated palm oil. Delicious. You can taste the fat in their arteries.”
Huh? Roman’s meal plan would kill us faster than the vampires. I cringed, waiting for Stark to tell him how horribly wrong it would be to force humans to eat garbage.
“Agreed,” Stark said.
Wait. What?
Stark went on, “Something must be done. However, I view that as more of a supply and demand issue. Plenty of humans are still willing to eat poorly and sell us their gourmet blood. I see the issue as a difference of philosophies. You wish to concentrate all vampire power into a handful of individuals. I prefer the current system.”
“Who are you kidding? You wish to rule with Anna,” Roman accused.
“I am not opposed to a monarchy.”
“Butterflies are wonderful. What is your point?” asked Roman.
I frowned. Was Roman making some obscure vampire joke?
“Yes. We all…” Stark cleared his throat “…love butterflies. I am merely saying that I prefer placing our fate in the hands of someone ethereal.”
“Again. What is your point?” asked Roman. “That Wi-Fi is better?”
Okay. Was Roman on vampire drugs too or just plain dumb?
“I meant,” Stark explained calmly, “that we need a leader who is above the fray—above the temptation of her ego, above greed or the need for power. And that vampire is Anna, our resurrected queen, but she is only driven by her heart and love for our world. She will not side with you.”
“Why not? I’m a supermodel. And super, super good looking.”
Okay, vampire Zoolander. Roman was dumber than my sock. So then why was Stark bothering with him? And why would any vampire follow him?
Maybe that was the point. Roman would make a great figurehead, easily controlled by a small group—the vampires really in charge. I didn’t know, but it fit what I’d learned about their kind. Sneaky. Everything done behind the scenes.
“Why not?” Stark said to Roman. “Because Anna loves me, and when we marry for a second time, I can guide her—balance out her youthful passion with my tempered wisdom.”
“How does Anna feel about that?” Roman asked. “I want to ask her myself.”
“No,” Stark said firmly. “I cannot allow her to be tainted by your insanity.”
“Then we go to war,” Roman announced.
Here we go. I prepared to jump out and distract Roman once they began fighting.
“We both know you do not have the acumen to win a war,” Stark argued.
“No, but I can lead a revelation. My people war ship me!”
This vampire really did have a screw loose.
“Calm yourself, Roman,” Stark ordered. “This is still a discussion. I am open to a proposal if you truly want my Anna.”
Stark was stabbing me in the back again. I couldn’t believe it. No, wait. I could. My blood began to boil.
“What do you want in exchange for her?” Roman asked.
“I wish to keep my island.”
“That’s it?” Roman asked.
Yeah, that’s it?
“I want your sworn commitment,” Stark said, “a formal declaration, that you and any of your followers will never step foot on my island. It must be signed in your blood and recognized into vampire law with penalty of banishment if you break your word. Plus, I get all of your assets if you do.”
Roman laughed. “No one wants your stupid island anyway. That all?”
“Not quite,” Stark said. “If you wish me to relinquish my claim on Anna, I will do so; however, Anna must still be allowed to choose whom she wants freely.”
“Easy. She’ll want me. I am far better looking, richer, and more influential,” Roman said.
Slow your roll there, Chadster.
“A firm possibility,” Stark pandered, “however, she must select you of her own free will, and that means she must do so as a vampire. This way, we both know she is not under the influence of vampire power.”
“All right. I’ll turn her. Let’s do it now,” Roman declared eagerly.
“No, I will do it,” Stark said.
“That would make you her master. It’s cheating,” Roman argued. “You already have the advantage of a past-life connection.”
I hated that these two beings were arguing over my life, my humanity, and leaving me out of the discussion. My feelings and soul meant nothing to them. The only thing either cared about was their own power. No one was really going to fight for me or the people I loved.
I had to do it myself.
I stepped around the corner. “Gentlemen, I have a different solution.”