Chapter Twenty-Two #2
As I had done in her past lives, I attempted to help Anna find peace and happiness despite her pain.
I tried to protect her in her state of vulnerability.
After all, she meant so much to her followers.
Almost as much as she meant to me—this woman who had multiple lives, each time becoming something more.
Like a complex stew, tastier than its simple ingredients.
But death found her anyway, through the hands of my brother, Lazlo, who could not stand the thought of not having her for himself.
Oh, how I understood. Yet, ironically, ending Anna’s life had accomplished the exact thing that had tormented Lazlo all along. Only deeper. Colder now.
I’d allowed Lazlo to live so that he might suffer an existence with his pain, completely unaware of my secret: Anna would return again.
To me.
For a while, anyway.
It was why I kept track of Anna’s now twenty bloodlines, looking for signs of her hidden away inside a new body.
Each time I found her, however, I was faced with the same challenge: how to keep her alive.
I disclosed the truth, kept the truth, forced her to do as I said, allowed her to choose her own path—abhorring!—got close to her, and kept my distance. Nothing I did mattered.
She always died. Unexpectedly. Violently. Before her time. And then it would start all over again.
Five hundred years of this fucking nightmare, only to end up in the same, dark place without her.
If it were not for the marks on my arms, I would have lost count. My past had become a blur, vines of misery stretching over time. Anna, my only reason for continuing on.
Which was why I told myself that this time would be different. This time would be the last. The very fucking last.
If I found her again and Anna died, I would die with her. Or perhaps I would snuff out my life before she met her fate. I only knew that this was the end of the line. The end of our joint story.
Then I came across Masie.
A smart-mouthed, sassy, defiant, and sweet as hell young woman. There were similarities in their personalities, yes, but was it her inside? My Anna?
Masie had been so young compared to the other times our paths had crossed, and I was not sure, so I kept my distance mostly.
I traveled, attended to my affairs, conducted vampire business, and I waited patiently. In the meantime, Leiper’s Fork became more and more like home. I began spending the majority of my time there. I grew to love the town, the people, their diets… So much fried food. Delicious.
After several years, I became convinced that Masie was not Anna—after all, Masie was thriving, happy, still alive, and in her mid-twenties.
Me? I felt content for the first time in centuries. Free from the pain of watching the woman I loved die repeatedly. I began collecting antiques, wine, art, and lovers. All was right in the world.
Then came that fated night when I saw Masie again. All grown up. Her scent had turned sweet and woodsy with a pinch of spice. My Anna?
If Masie was her, I swore to myself I would stay away. She was safe. I was happy. This was turning out to not be the nightmare I had repeated countless times.
Of course, that was a lie. I could not stay completely away. And when she was attacked at her family’s bar, I stepped in, knowing it was useless.
She would die no matter what actions I took. Perhaps not that night, but the next night. Or the night after that. Once again, I swore to stay away.
Only, she did not die.
She lived. She carried the weight of life like never before.
How? Why? What was different this time?
One answer: I stopped believing I could save her.
I could temporarily prolong her life. I could help, intervene, protect, and love, but only she could save herself. Simply put, her will to live was different.
For a vampire like me, who had spent his existence thinking it was my role to save her, it was a tough pill to swallow. I had to accept being her…ugh…so horrifying…her equal.
There. I said it.
She was not inferior to me. I was not inferior to her. We were equals. Do not vomit, Stark. Do not…vomit… I swallowed down the bloody bile. And…I’m good.
Everything I had done since meeting Masie had been a careful balancing act. More than anything, I hoped for us to have a future together, but I could not cross that line. I could not think I was her savior.
Therefore, if she meant what she had just said, I knew I had to let her go. I had to respect her wishes. I owed her that much.
“Stark,” Masie wiggled in my grasp, “let me go!”
I had to act quickly. Roman was downstairs, no doubt removing his clothes and covering himself in olive oil to prepare for our fight. God, I hate traditional vampire wrestling.
I stared deeply into Masie’s eyes, pushing into her thoughts, into her memories. “Masie, I want you to know that I love you.”
“Well, you sure as hell don’t show it!”
Masie continued squirming. I had to push harder. I had to believe for her.
“When I release you, you will forget me,” I said. “We have never met. Not in this lifetime or the past. Every memory of our time together will be gone. You will feed off your strength and know your destiny is to use that power to help right the world.
“You will make Roman your bitch, because he is a little bitch. You will make him take the sacred moonshine and spread Anna’s word for you. He—you—will tell them to stand down, to retreat from public life and go to my island. Your island now.
“Afterwards, you will shepherd vampires to embrace a new dawn where they will hunt down, kill, and destroy any human or vampire who wishes to subject others to their cruel, sadistic greed. They will be your silent army, Masie. And you will be happy. So happy. You will remain human as long as you like, have children if you like, and you will marry for love when you are ready. Only then, if you want, will you become a vampire to continue your rule.”
“Stark, what the fuck?” Masie barked. “I mean, yes, I plan to be happy, but I’m not going to just make that moron my bitch. Or move to your island. Or—”
“All right,” I said, still holding her tight, “you can live where you like, but Roman must be your bitch. I really hate that guy. But all other vampires must disappear from the human world. Shadows only. Got it? Use them to kill off anyone who is planning to vote yes on the Repurposed People Act or start a war or exploit humans for their own gain.”
Masie laughed. “That all?”
“No.” I bent my head and kissed her hard. My heart filled with sorrow, knowing this truly was the last time we would be together. At least, like this.
Masie blinked up at me with those wide brown eyes I could not get enough of. Eyes that from this day forward would hold no warmth for me.
“You will not know it,” I said, “but I will always be there for you. Watching and protecting from a distance. Not because you need me to save you, but because I truly love you. Five hundred years and counting.” I released her arms. “Goodbye.”