Chapter 9 Jason
Jason
It was night and fucking day. I breathed in the scent of money that Sebastian’s house seemed to exude from the walls and tried not to think about the apartment Francois and I were living in. That shithole was only temporary while I babysat Francois for Nic.
This place, Sebastian’s house, felt like home, though. It felt like family.
My history was here. Not in the walls, necessarily, but in Sebastian.
I had so many memories of my life wrapped up in him, so many memories of Nic and all we’d been through.
Although Sebastian was my least favorite of the two brothers, that was almost on a technicality.
The bond between us grew closer with each year we survived.
And now that we were both here, without Nic’s constant presence, having each other was reassuring.
Fuck. Having each other was more than simply reassuring. It was strangely necessary.
There was nothing quite like being in the presence of my family.
“Here you go.” Sebastian strode back into his parlor room, where I was waiting for him, and handed me a small bundle of paperwork. “The amended deed.”
I gave an internal sigh of relief. This meant I no longer had to lie to or try to fool my mate. That had gone against everyone one of my instincts. But I’d overridden those for family, for history, and for loyalty and fealty to my king and sire.
Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to balance things quite so delicately now.
“I should call Ciara and set up a meeting.” No sooner were the words out of my mouth than it felt like a mistake.
I’d seemed too eager. Too quick to want to call her. A wolf. A human.
But she was mine, and it had been last night when I saw her last. I missed her. And part of me wanted to tell the world she was my mate. Like I should make an announcement.
So what was stopping me? Had the others felt like this? So protective of their mates that they couldn’t chance revealing them to the world in case it made them a target? Or was I more afraid of rejection?
I didn’t know.
I almost didn’t want to know.
But surely my mate wouldn’t reject me. That wasn’t the way it worked…right?
Sebastian raised an eyebrow as I paused, my phone clasped in my hand. “You can’t wait even one minute to get hold of her?”
My cheeks heated but hopefully I got away without actually blushing.
That would be more embarrassing than being embarrassed in the first place.
Guys didn’t blush. “I don’t see any point in waiting, do you?
Nic wants this handled.” Hopefully, invoking the name of his brother would wipe suspicion from his mind.
But just in case… “And I assume you do, as well?”
He nodded. “Of course.” Then he waved, ever the more imperious brother, but it was all put on airs and graces. “Continue.” Then he grinned and left the room.
I dialed her number then listened to the ring tone, going over all of the reasons that she might not be answering in my mind.
“Hello?”
When she did answer, I was momentarily startled and didn’t respond right away.
“Hello?” she repeated and there was a muffled sound of movement as if she’d moved the phone from her ear to glance at the screen. “Oh. Jason.” She sounded so bored that I almost laughed.
Although hearing her voice at all made any kind of sound impossible for a moment as my breath caught, excitement surprising me.
“I’ve got some new paperwork to run past you,” I said. “Can we meet later?”
“What? Oh, sure.” Was she distracted? Something was up. She was off.
Maybe she really was pissed about the VIP situation—or maybe I’d affected her more than I thought.
“This afternoon?” I wanted to see her as soon as possible, although perhaps it wasn’t entirely professional to suggest a meeting on such short notice.
“Okay. I’ll see you at the pack lodge at three.” Again, her words were noncommittal, but her tone was tight.
I thanked her for her time, and hung up, already berating myself for being so formal at the end. But I’d achieved my objective—I was meeting her.
Would this—just this one more—meeting be enough, though? Never. I slipped my phone back into my pocket as I walked to the kitchen. I needed to figure out why else I might need to be around her. I mean, I absolutely did need to be around her but what reasons would she want to accept?
I headed to the kitchen and helped myself to a packet of blood.
Once upon a time, we’d all laughed at Nic for existing on these things, and now it was what we all did.
I emptied it into the first mug I found and heated it in the microwave then sat heavily on a bar stool, not doing much more than contemplating the deep red liquid.
I glanced up as Kayla steamed into the kitchen, her mouth open as she belted out a few lines from one of her most requested songs at the club. But the sound stopped abruptly rather than dying away as I was used to.
“Jason?”
“Yep, it’s me.” I forced a grin before returning my attention to the contents of my mug.
I needed to drink it while it was still warm, because this shit really didn’t taste any better cold and congealed.
She stopped, her gaze so hot on me that I could feel it without even looking up. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” But my long sigh suggested a different answer.
She walked to the counter space opposite me and leaned on her forearms as she got a closer look at my face. “What’s up?”
I sighed again, but maybe confiding in Kayla would be a good thing. She’d have an opinion, anyway. She’d been human once and now she was a vampire mate. Who better to ask, really?
“It’s Ciara.”
Kayla’s brow creased. “Who’s Ciara?”
Right. Why would Sebastian have mentioned her by name? He wasn’t on the wolves. I was.
“She’s the new wolf liaison. She’s Conri’s sister.”
“Oh. Is she being awkward about the deal still?”
So, Sebastian had told Kayla something even if not all of the details. I chuckled wryly as I considered all of the potential ways I could reply. But in the end, I went for simple. “She’s my mate.”
“Oh.” Kayla was silent for a long beat. “But a wolf shifter? I didn’t know that… Can you? As a vampire, I mean? Can she become…?”
“She’s not a shifter. She inherited the human side of her dad.
” I stopped. “I mean, she has shifter genes from her mom, I assume, but they must be dormant. She doesn’t shift.
” My hands became loose fists as memories of how the pack treated Ciara returned to me.
“And some of them make her pay for that every day.”
“Does it make it easier for you, though?” Kayla straightened and tapped her fingers on the counter. “She can be your mate if she’s human. I mean, we know that much, right?” She laughed softly. “Humans make excellent vampire mates.” She gestured briefly at herself.
I joined her laughter, although my heart wasn’t fully in it. “Yeah. I haven’t told her yet though.”
“What?” Kayla’s confusion was evident in her creased brow. “Why haven’t you said anything? Don’t you want her?”
I hung my head and groaned. “You have no idea. But what do I say? What if she doesn’t want me?”
“Oh, Jason.” Kayla chuckled as she turned and grabbed her own mug from the cabinet.
“Being a mate is something even I couldn’t deny.
I could feel it, and I don’t think that’s a witch thing.
I think it’s my human side recognizing what I am, recognizing Sebastian.
I’m his and he’s mine.” As she turned back to me, her lips curved in a soft smile. “I feel that inside me every day.”
“What if she doesn’t feel the same about me, though?” That was my biggest fear. That Ciara could somehow reject the mate bond.
“Look.” Kayla suddenly meant business. “I resisted Sebastian. At least, I tried to resist him, but this was stronger. I was drawn to him despite what I thought I wanted, despite rational thought, despite actual common sense. I wanted a vampire. It made sense after Sebastian told me, even though I didn’t want it to, and I thought I had a decision to make…
But there was no decision. This isn’t really a choice.
It’s like some sort of biological imperative. ”
“Fate,” I muttered.
“Yeah, that’s a better way to put it. It’s a fate thing.
Sebastian is the man I’m meant to be with.
There’s no denying that at all.” She smiled again, that same soft expression, then shook her head and grabbed a blood bag.
“And that’s why I know you should be honest with Ciara, no matter what.
It’s going to be uncomfortable, but you’ll waste a lot less time if you just address it. ”
I twisted my mouth to the side as I shook my head.
“She seems so closed off. I think she’s too used to people hurting her, or she’s got a problem with me specifically…
I don’t know.” I shook my head again. “The thing is, if I can’t charm her, or even gain her interest, how can I tell her I’ll be hers forever? ”
“You’re not the first, Jason.” Kayla spoke in the equivalent of a go team pep talk voice.
“Vampires have been having this talk with their mates since the dawn of time…probably.” She looked momentarily uncertain before picking back up.
“It will all work out. Just talk to her.” She finished with a beaming smile.
“Right. I’m headed to the club to rehearse a new set. Wish me luck!”
I did, but she didn’t need it. The clientele of Nightfall hung on to her every note.
Kayla breezed back out of the kitchen, and I swirled the contents of my cup again. I checked the clock on the wall, and it ticked disapprovingly at me—like I might wear it out if I kept looking at it. It wasn’t even nearly time to meet with Ciara.
I rinsed the leftover blood from my mug and wandered through the house, almost lost, which was unusual. I always had purpose when I went somewhere, but now I was literally wandering…killing time.