Chapter 20
Chyanne
“We need anything you can tell us, Chyanne. Anything at all.” Mask states. I’m sitting in the office with the guys surrounding me and Van at my back. He keeps his hands on my shoulders, massaging them gently as I talk to them.
“I can tell you the general location. I didn’t see an address. I’m sorry. I should have paid better attention,” I tell them, feeling useless here. I didn’t pay much attention because I was too busy panicking, and now I regret that. I regret not looking where we were going.
“Don’t be sorry. You were dealin’ with a lot.” I nod my head, but I still feel like shit. All they’re trying to do is help me, and I can’t even help myself. I’m angry at myself for not having more to go on.
“I just wish I would have paid better attention. I mean, the first time, I was scared to death, and the second time, I was worried about the baby.”
“This isn’t your fault, baby. We’re gonna find him.”
“Are you sure we’re safe here?” I ask, looking over my shoulder at Van. He nods his head and gives me that sexy smile of his.
“He ain’t gettin’ in here.”
“Yeah. There’s no way in fuck he’s that stupid,” Free says.
“Not a chance,” Mask confirms. I nod my head as I sit back in the seat and try to remember anything, any tiny detail of what the house looked like. I describe it the best I can to them.
“That’s good. We’re gonna get guys out lookin’ for the house,” Mask says but mainly talks to the guys in the room.
“Are you sure about this? I don’t want anyone getting in trouble over me.” Now, there’s laughter in the room. The guys laugh as Van squeezes my shoulders.
“We live for trouble, baby. This is gonna be a fun one,” he tells me.
“Fun?” I question.
“Don’t ask. You don’t want the answer to that,” he tells me. The others laugh once more before I look back to Mask at the center of the room.
“He’s right. That’s on us. We’ll handle that. You just worry about you and the baby. How is the little guy?” he asks.
“He’s good. Thank you for letting us stay here.”
“Lettin’ you? Shit, Van isn’t lettin’ you leave,” he laughs. I look up at Van, and he just smirks at me.
“Well, I appreciate it anyway. I know having a baby here probably isn’t ideal for you guys.”
“We’re grown-ass men. We can handle it,” Mask says as he glances at the others. We talk a little more before Van tells me I can leave. I stand, and he spins me around, kissing me roughly before patting my ass on the way out.
When I walk back into the main room, I see Nic holding Nate. I can’t stop the smile that crosses my face seeing my best friend holding my little boy.
“You should get one,” I tell her as I walk closer to her.
“Oh, hell no. They’re cute to hold and play with but not to keep, girl. I couldn’t handle a baby in my life.”
“Van said the same thing and look at him,” I remind her.
“You’re right, but I’m dead serious. He wasn’t,” she laughs.
“You think it’ll last?”
“I think he has a good heart, and so do you. I think he cares about you more than he’s letting on, too. He’s ready to burn the world to the ground for you, Chyanne. I think that says a lot.”
“I like him too. Did you know he signed the birth certificate as the father?” I ask her. She looks shocked as she shakes her head.
“I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah. He said we could take it off later, but he didn’t want Derrick to have anything over me.”
“That’s … wow. I didn’t expect that from him.”
“Nic, I don’t know what to expect from him anymore. He’s done so much for us.”
“As I said, he’s a good guy with a good heart. I think he just needed the right girl to bring it out of him. He needed to see what real looked like, and he sees that in you,” she tells me.
“You think so?”
“I know so. Look,” she says, nodding over my shoulder. I turn and look behind me and see Van staring in our direction. When our eyes lock, his lips curl into a smile that could melt hearts. I know it does mine. My chest tightens, and I feel like I’m the only thing in the world that matters to him. How can he make me feel that way with just a look? I turn back to Nic and smile.
“He makes me feel special.”
“As he should. You are special, Chy. You’re the best person I know.”
“I love you, Nicole.” I pull her into a side hug, careful not to smash Nate.
“I love you too.”
“I’m glad I’m here,” I tell her.
“So am I. I wasn’t sure how it would all play out, but it’s been good. You’ve brought the club to life that’s for sure.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
“Just you and Nate being here is enough.”
“Thanks, Nic.”
“Don’t thank me. Thank him,” she says, nodding toward Van.
“I feel like all I do is thank him for something. He’s probably getting tired of hearing it,” I laugh.
“I can imagine. How’s he been with Nate?”
“Girl. He has barely let me do anything. He always has him in his arms and feeds him. He hasn’t changed him yet, but he’s done everything else. He even rocks him in the rocker,” I tell her. I can’t help it. Seeing Van like that does something to me. It makes me feel like he actually cares about us.
“Told you he’s a good guy.”
“He’s more than that. I can’t explain it, but I feel it.” Admitting that to her was hard. I don’t want them to think I’m insane for what I feel, but I also want them to know I do care about Van, too.
“Aww. I think that’s sweet. Have you told him?”
“What? No. I can’t tell him that,” I tell her.
“Why not? Let the man know you care,” she says.
“I don’t know what to say! Do I just blurt it out?”
“Just sit him down and explain to him what you feel. It’s not that hard, Chy.”
“Yeah, because you’re not the one doing it. You’re making me nervous right now.”
“Don’t be nervous. I’m sure he’d love to hear it,” she says. He might, but he might not. Van doesn’t seem like the type who talks about feelings easily, and I don’t want to sound like a dumbass.
“I don’t know.”
“I do. You should do it. Just tell him. Blurt it out,” she laughs.
“Like, oh hey, Van. I think I’m falling in love with you,” I laugh, but she doesn’t. Her smile has slid right off her face. And that’s when I feel his hands come to my waist as I drop my head. “You heard that.”
“I heard that,” he says softly. “Did you mean it?” I don’t raise my head. I can’t. I’m too embarrassed he actually heard me say it out loud. I should have known better. I should have kept my mouth shut. Slowly, Van turns me to face him, his hand coming to cup my cheek as he lifts my head to look at him.
“Did you mean that?” he asks once more. I lick my lips, unsure of what to say here. Do I just do it? Blurt it out like Nicole said? Do I lie and say no? Words don’t want to form, so I just nod my head. He nods, too, before leaning down and kissing me roughly. His tongue demands entrance, and I let him take over. He kisses me like I’m the air he needs to breathe, and I let him. I let him take whatever he wanted from me. His tongue slides along mine, and I find myself moaning into his mouth. After what seems like forever, I’m breathless and heated. Van pulls back, keeping his hand on my cheek.
“I’m glad you feel that way, Chy,” he murmurs, confusing me a little more.
“You are? I just thought … with the baby and everything, it was too much too soon.”
“What part of I want that baby and you don’t you seem to get, woman? I’ve made it clear, haven’t I?”
“I know, but it’s still a lot, Van. And then to hear me say that.”
“I will say it was a shock, but I’m glad I heard it. I highly doubt you were really gonna tell me.”
“I was thinking about it.”
“Yeah? You should have just told me, Chy.”
“Does it really matter?”
“Fuck, yeah, it matters. It means I’m doin’ my job. I’m doin’ somethin’ right.”
“Van, you’ve done everything right.” His eyes dance between mine as he nods his head.
“Good. I plan on keepin’ it that way.”