27. Vandal #2
“Oh,” Daisy says. “You could fix that now. Do you feel like you should go see her?”
I shake my head. “Today’s been a lot, but give me a second to message her.”
I pull my phone out of my pocket. It’s a cop-out to lay all this out for her in a text. She deserves so much more than that. So I try to keep it brief.
Me: Hey, Mom. I’m sorry for being a dick. Any chance you could swing by the house tomorrow morning so we can talk. And I’d like you to meet Daisy and her daughter, Elsie.
I fully intend to put my phone away, but the dots start immediately.
Mom: Oh, love. Of course I’ll come. I’ll bring treats. Remember, I’ll love you for always.
I heart it and swallow deeply. Then I take the chair next to her, and for a while, we sit without talking. The quiet evening lets us.
“Can I tell you about Elsie’s father?” Daisy asks finally. “I don’t want to make it awkward, but I think you should know.”
I turn my head to her. “I think it would be a pretty good precedent for the two of us to be able to tell each other anything.”
Daisy sighs. “He wasn’t a good man,” she says. “I think I told myself he was complicated because that sounded less stupid than admitting I was in a relationship with someone who cared more about that awful tattoo than me.”
“You were young?” I ask.
“Maybe. But I was old enough to know better. He was Alvarez’s right-hand, not officially, because men like that don’t put titles on anything that can be used in court.
But that’s what he was. Errands. Collections.
Messages. Intimidation when someone needs to remember their place.
His name was Julian Vega. And I had no idea he was married. ”
“He was what?”
“Yeah. Married. I only found out during the trial. It was odd. I’d received a letter from the lawyer advising me to stay away.
The explanation was to do with protecting me and Elsie and making sure we didn’t get caught up in the scandal.
But I hated the idea of Julian looking up in court and not seeing me.
I arrived for the trial, wearing my best dress, my hair done, and then some guy calls out for Julian’s wife.
I went to step forward, thinking there must be some kind of mistake.
That I’m only his girlfriend. But the stunningly beautiful woman stepped forward and said she was his wife, and it felt like my world turned to sand beneath my feet. ”
“God, Daisy. That’s fucking awful.” I reach for her hand and hold it tight.
“I always thought there was a special level in hell for women who did the dirty on other women and stole their husbands. But I never considered just how deceptive men could be. No offense.”
I put my hands up. “None taken.”
“People asked me after, how could I not know. And I suppose there were signs I should have been worried about. But we moved fast. I used to work in a high-end cocktail bar that he used to frequent. He was very charismatic, and also incredibly generous. Within three months of knowing each other, he’d moved me out of the shit hole apartment I was living in and put me in a huge ocean-view one in South Beach.
He told me he travelled a lot for business and that was how he made his money, but for all intents and purposes, I thought we lived together.
There were clothes in his closet. He had a favorite mug he used at breakfast. I thought we were building a life. ”
“Is that why you’re so worried about us moving too fast?”
Daisy looks my way. “I think it is, for two reasons. One, I thought I knew the man I lived with when the truth was, I didn’t know the first thing about him.
And two, it was hard living in my cheap apartment, but it was even harder to go back to it having had a taste of what a much better life could feel like.
And I’m scared if I give Elsie a taste of something more, she’ll hate me if we have to go back to it. ”
Now it’s my turn to sit and think for a moment. Understanding what has made Daisy have moments of reluctance makes me feel better. Because I know I’m not her asshole ex, but the difficulty is I can’t convince her of that with words alone—I need to show her repeatedly with my actions over time.
“I had no idea whether I was going to end up with a wife and kids or not, but I’ll be honest, that was more a function of my own upbringing.
My dad was an asshole on the scale of your ex, but the fortunate thing for me is that he’s dead.
” I don’t tell her yet that I was the one to do it.
That’s a conversation for a different day, and I want this moment to be about her and her life story.
“But I always knew that if I did, I wanted to provide for them. If I had my way, ideally, my wife would stay home, raise our kids, and look after our family. But I’m not enough of a Neanderthal for that to be an expectation.
So why don’t we do this? I don’t expect any money from you, for anything while you’re here. ”
“Vandal,” Daisy says. “No, I’m capable of paying my way.”
I shake my head. “I know you are, but maybe another way of thinking of it, if paying your share is so important to you, is that you pay in action instead of money? And what I want you to do is save every penny you earn in an account that only has your name on it. And each month, I’ll show you how much faith I have in you by matching it, and you can do that for as long as you want to.
You can call it your freedom fund or something.
A backup plan for if you ever want to leave. ”
When I see tears in her eyes, I tug on Daisy’s hand and encourage her to come sit on my lap. It takes me a second to get us comfortable. I lean back a little in the chair. She sits in my arms, her head pressed up against my chest.
Something that feels so good can’t be wrong.
“Thank you,” she says.
I kiss the top of her head as I look out over the small pool that I’m certain is going to get more use now. I imagine it filled with our kids and neighbors’ kids and playdates from school.
“But before I let you commit to that, you should know something. I’ve kept moving around for a reason.”
“Why’s that?” I ask.
“Obviously when my ex went inside, I lost everything. I couldn’t keep up with the rent, and somehow his wife found out and arrived with her brothers to take pretty much everything that was in the apartment by force.
Julian had put everything in my name, which I now know was so his wife wouldn’t find out about it.
But when the rent payments stopped and repayments on furnishings and cars weren’t made, my credit score was trashed.
“Anyway, one day Alvarez showed up and told me he’d look after me, like it was a kindness, like I was somehow supposed to be grateful to this man who let my ex go to prison for him.
Not that I was concerned about my ex by this point.
I told Alvarez that I didn’t want his help, but if he truly wanted to make my life easier, he’d deal with all the creditors.
And he must have done it, because the phone calls for payments stopped coming.
But then my ex started to say he wanted to see Elsie.
Month after month he wanted me to drag Elsie to prison to see him and said I had no right to keep his daughter from him. ”
Daisy’s fingers twist together, and I place my hand over them to still them.
“Prison is no place for a child,” I say. “I’ve been many times to visit brothers, and I’ve seen kids scream and cry on both ends, being forced into a sterile room with no toys, no entertainment, no touching. And I’ve seen them scream as they’ve been dragged away.”
Daisy nods. “Exactly. He wasn’t really her father in any way that mattered, but he is the man on her birth certificate.
Everything turned messy. I found out later that him and his wife couldn’t have kids.
So, the first letter came from her. They wanted a custody agreement where Elsie would go live with her half the week to ‘get to know her other family’ like Julian’s brothers and her cousins.
And his wife would take her to see her father in prison.
Then, his parents wanted shared custody of her.
They had fancy, expensive lawyers, and I couldn’t afford any legal support.
They acted like Elsie was somehow compensation for the loss of their son. ”
“People can do that?” I ask. “Did they have a case?”
“Not a real one, I don’t think. But they had money, and I didn’t.
They had lawyers who could make my life hell.
They had people willing to follow me and sit outside the daycare and call me an unfit mother because I worked too much, because I didn’t have a husband, because I lived in an apartment with a broken elevator and a lock that stuck if it rained. ”
Her voice cracks, and she bursts into tears against my chest. I place my hand in her hair and hold her to me while she sobs. “Hey, it’s okay.”
“It’s not, Vandal. They were going to take her from me, and I won’t let them. I won’t fail her.”
So that’s why she ran. Why she’s nervous of this moving so fast. Why she can’t trust me yet. I cup the back of her neck, my thumb brushing over warm skin. “Look at me.”
When she finally lifts her head, her eyes are wet and furious.
“Elsie is happy. She’s smart and funny and knows she’s safe with you. She knows she’s loved and can ask hard questions. You haven’t failed her. Not once. You saved her, Daisy. All by yourself. You saved her. And I know it’ll take time to convince you, but now you don’t need to do that alone.”
Daisy hiccups a sob. “You really want us here?”
I glance over my shoulder into the house where Elsie sleeps under my roof. “Yeah, I really want you here.”
Her fingers curl into my shirt. “Then yes, Vandal, I’ll help you make this a home.”