Chapter 30
30
C ole slammed his fist against the wall in his bedroom, anger and betrayal surging through him, the pain so severe, as if somebody was ramming a burning poker through his heart. He’d never thought that he was capable of such deep emotions, not after all the years of schooling himself not to hope for something that was unattainable. He’d never allowed himself to hope for real love, even less for finding his soulmate. But his heart had betrayed him. It should have warned him that Vanessa was too good to be true. It should have stopped him from falling so completely and hopelessly in love with a dangerous and violent creature: Vanessa. A vampire.
But every time she appeared in his mind, he didn’t see the vampire, he didn’t see the evil and violent creature. He only saw the woman. The lover. The temptress. He tried to force himself to imagine her with glowing red eyes and extended fangs like the creature her brother and his colleagues had brought to Scanguards. But whenever he tried, all he could see was the warm glow in her eyes, her soft lips, her tender kisses. How could a vampire do that? How could a vampire kiss so tenderly?
Fuck! He recalled how she’d taken his hard-on into her mouth, sucking him with such skill and such tenderness and passion, when she could have sliced his cock off in a second. She’d never hurt him physically, even though she could have. On the contrary, she’d saved his life, she’d killed for him.
Even when he’d demanded to leave Scanguards, she’d stepped aside and let him pass, when she could have lashed out at him because he’d rejected her.
Cole plopped down on the edge of his bed, running a hand through his hair. What had he done? He’d seen red the moment she’d told him that she was a vampire. His only thought had been the vampire who’d nearly killed him, the trauma of it still haunting him. He hadn’t been able to process anything else. His instinct had kicked in. Fight or flight? Knowing how strong his attacker had been, and therefore how strong Vanessa had to be, he’d opted for flight.
But now, safe in his four walls, the adrenaline shooting through his veins had simmered down, and the analytical side of his brain was working again. Like a film, every interaction he’d ever had with Vanessa played back in front of his inner eye, and he was able to assess everything that had happened between them. He had to admit that there hadn’t been any moment when he’d felt any danger emanating from Vanessa. Even when she’d let him leave Scanguards earlier, he hadn’t seen a single flicker of violence or danger directed toward him. She’d simply moved aside and let him go. Any other woman would have yelled at him for leaving her. But Vanessa had accepted it without lashing out at him. Of a vampire, he would have never expected such self-control. Such poise. Such grace.
Didn’t that prove that she wasn’t a violent creature? That there was humanity in her? Maybe more humanity than in some humans. Or why else would she patrol night after night, looking out for the less fortunate, the hookers, the druggies, the homeless? Or had that all been a lie?
Fuck! How would he ever know the truth? Certainly not by sitting here in his condo making himself crazy. The only person who could really tell him the truth about Vanessa, was Vanessa herself. But did he have the courage to confront her?
A loud banging on his door made him jump up. His heart beat in a loud staccato, and his breathing changed. Who was at his door at this time of night? Was it Vanessa?
He hurried to the door, then looked through the peephole. He sucked in a breath and reared back.
“Cole, I can hear you breathing,” Vanessa’s brother Ethan said insistently from the other side of the door. “Open the fucking door before I kick it in.”
Knowing that Ethan wasn’t making an empty threat, and certainly had the strength to kick the door in, he decided to follow his command and opened the door wide.
Ethan didn’t lose a second and pounced, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and slamming him against the nearest wall, while kicking the door shut with his foot. Cole had never seen anybody move so fast.
“What the fuck do you want?” Cole managed to press out.
He wouldn’t let Ethan know that he was just a slight bit intimidated by the vampire’s strength and speed. He didn’t even want to admit it to himself, but that ship had sailed. He knew he had no chance fighting him off, but that didn’t mean he would cower.
“What I want is you going back to Vanessa and making up with her.”
The words made one thing clear instantly: Ethan wasn’t here to kill him.
“You broke her heart, you jerk!”
Cole tipped his chin up. “How could I break her heart when she doesn’t have one?”
Ethan let go of his shirt and took a step back, shaking his head. “You know nothing about vampires. You think we’re so different from you? We have hearts just like you humans. We feel more deeply than a human ever could. So, congratulations, you managed to break my sister’s heart.”
Cole felt his mouth open, but no words came out. He exhaled, then took in another breath. “Are you saying she really loves me?”
Ethan let out an exasperated breath and tapped on Cole’s forehead. “Hello? Anybody in there?” He shook his head again. “Don’t you get it at all? Vanessa loves you more than anything or anybody. She would give her life for you if she had to.”
“Did she send you to tell me that?”
“Send me? Fuck, no! If she knew I was here, talking to you, she’d kick the living daylights out of me. I’m here because she’s in heat, and she refuses to have sex with anybody but you. And I’m not gonna stand by, and let her suffer.”
Ethan’s jaw tightened visibly, and he stabbed his index finger into Cole’s chest.
“So, you, pretty boy, are gonna go to her, and fuck her for as long as she needs it. And I don’t care what you have to tell her. Lie for all I care. But she needs sex now. And you’re the only one she’ll sleep with, because she loves you, and nothing is gonna change that. Because when a vampire falls in love, it’s forever.”
Ethan’s words triggered something in Cole. He blinked and stared at him, a memory surfacing. “How can she even be a vampire? How could I have missed that? She was out during the day. I was with her. But your father said that vampires turn to dust in the sun… Was that a lie?”
“No. Pureblooded vampires do indeed turn to dust in the sun. But Vanessa isn’t a pureblooded vampire. She’s a hybrid, like all children born to a vampire. Like myself and my brother. We have all of the pureblooded vampires’ traits, but can’t be killed by the rays of the sun.”
Cole felt as if his head was exploding with all the information he tried to process. He nodded to himself. “I guess that’s not important right now.” The words were meant more for himself than for Ethan. “Fuck. What have I done?” He sought Ethan’s gaze. “I love her. I didn’t want to hurt her, but when she told me that she’s a vampire, I panicked.”
Ethan appeared to relax. “Well, that happens. Guess it didn’t help that you were attacked by one of the rogues.”
Seeing understanding in Ethan’s eyes, Cole nodded. “What if Vanessa doesn’t take me back? What if she can’t forgive me?”
For the first time, Ethan smiled and slapped his hand on Cole’s shoulder. “I think some groveling will come in handy for that. Oh, yeah, and sex. Start with that. That’s what she needs most right now.”
“I can do that.”
“I bet.” Ethan chuckled. “Oh, and one other thing: if she wants to bite you and drink your blood, let her.”
“But…” How could he let her do the same as that rogue?
“Trust me on this. When a vampire bites his or her lover, it’s sensual. There’s no pain, no horror, only pleasure.”
Cole furrowed his forehead. “But how is that possible? I felt that vampire’s bite, and I can still remember the pain.”
“Like I said: when it’s done right, there won’t be any pain. I’ve been bitten plenty of times, and I’ve bitten my lovers too, and there’s nothing better than to share that pleasure with the one you love.”
Ethan’s eyes suddenly began to shimmer golden. It reminded him of how Vanessa’s eyes had shimmered when they’d made love.
He stretched out his hand. “Your eyes… they’re golden… just like Vanessa’s when…”
Ethan smirked. “I’ll let Nessie explain that to you. Now, let’s move. She needs you.”
Cole reached for his car keys.
“We’ll take my car,” Ethan said “I’ll have to let you into the house, because she’s not gonna open the door in the state that she’s in.”
“If I just show up there, isn’t she gonna know that you let me in?”
“If she asks, and I doubt that she will, tell her you picked the lock. Under no circumstances can you let her know that I made you go see her. Understood?”
“Ethan…”
“What?”
“You’re not making me do anything. I was already pretty close to going to talk to her before you came.”
“I’m happy to hear that, bro.”
Ethan opened the door, and Cole snatched his house keys, and followed him out.