Vanish

Chapter 10

Lucien

Restlessness marred my night, intertwining my dreams to twist my fears into distorted images that I longed to escape from. I only received pockets of reprieve whenever I interrupted my uneasy sleep to check on Lisette; her faint form was more difficult to find in the dark, but there was always just enough thin moonlight to reassure myself that she was still here, allowing me to once more attempt sleep.

I was finally rescued from my endless night when someone jostled my shoulder. I groggily murmured Lisette’s name as I slowly untangled myself from my nightmare’s snare and struggled to the surface of consciousness to greet the faint morning light bathing the library.

My first thought upon rousing was that it was Lisette who touched me; only when I shook off drowsiness’s tendrils did I notice that the hand on my cramped and aching shoulder was too heavy to belong to someone without form. I blinked blearily and my brother gradually came into focus, crouching beside me against the backdrop of shelves.

My brain struggled to process the scene. Ryland…waking up in the library…Lisette nowhere to be seen…

I gasped and bolted upright, my elbow making contact with my brother’s torso. I ignored his grunt of pain, my entire focus consumed by my frantic search. I didn’t immediately see Lisette, but eventually noticed her hovering in the shadows cast from a nearby shelf. My tense posture relaxed. She was still here.

Reassuring myself that my fiancée was safe—if being cursed and no longer possessing a physical body could be considered such a thing—allowed me to return my attention to my brother, wincing as he massaged where I’d accidentally struck him. “A fine good morning greeting to receive when I’ve come as a favor.” His gaze followed where mine had sought Lisette’s invisible form—more tangible in the light of day—but as before he showed no sign he noticed her. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.” Guilt prickled my conscience at the hasty lie that couldn’t be further from the truth, one that felt more dishonorable considering I’d been blessed to have Lisette take on some form rather than being entirely erased.

By Ryland’s frown he clearly didn’t believe me, but I’d spent too much of my life withholding my true emotions for him to think he could press the matter. Instead he worriedly took in my haggard expression. “It took me a long time to find you. Is there a reason you fell asleep in the library?” He noticed the books on curses still stacked haphazardly on the nearby desk and sighed. “You’re working too hard.”

“The curse set the precedent for the work expected of us; it doesn’t take a day off, so neither can I.”

“My comment wasn’t a suggestion for you to neglect your responsibilities, simply an expression of concern for your wellbeing. I understand the dire situation, in some ways more than you do.”

I gaped at him as his words settled over me, as if seeing him for the first time, and lurched forward. “You caught the curse and nearly disappeared!” How could I have forgotten something so important? To think I had one of the only survivors of the curse within my own home and I’d failed to obtain any information from him to help Lisette. From my peripheral vision I noticed her stir, tilting her head towards us in a show of interest.

His lips curved upwards. “So glad my brother cares enough for me to remember my brush with death.” A haunted look quickly eclipsed his teasing manner. “I hate to think what would have happened had Evelyn not been there to save me with her magic, or if we hadn’t been so close to the magical monastery to receive the help from a proper healer. If we’d been any later, I would have succumbed to the same fate as the rest of our subjects rather than living this joyous life as a husband and soon-to-be father.”

The future that he’d almost lost was the very one I yearned to build with Lisette. The fact that she remained gave me hope it was still within reach, even as her condition made it seem entirely out of reach. Years of research hadn’t brought the royal family any closer to a solution, let alone a single night of research with her.

“What was it like to nearly vanish?”

His brow furrowed as he stretched his memory back to the previous year. “It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced—I wasn’t aware of what was happening, even as a sliver of my consciousness felt I was being drawn towards another world, a completely different realm from the one I was leaving behind.”

Lisette stiffened at the mention of another world and angled her body more towards us. I was surprised that particular phrase meant something to her, considering it hadn’t come up during our research the day before. Had she discovered something during the night? I ached to talk with her, but Ryland’s presence made conversation impossible.

His eyes widened as he took in my desperation, an emotion I was currently too exhausted to mask. His pensive expression softened. “Is this about Princess Lisette?”

An airy gasp that sounded like Lisette”s breath catching drifted from where her nearly invisible form still stood cloaked in shadow. I hesitated before nodding.

He sighed. “With my love for my own wife, I can’t possibly imagine the turmoil you’re experiencing. I wish I could offer some reassurance that she can be recovered, but when I caught the curse I immediately received treatment and still was barely saved; even if we could locate her or any of our other disappeared subjects, I suspect too much time has passed to help her. I’m sorry.”

Turmoil rushed through me as I stared at him, torn between despair at the bleak outlook he expected and hope because Lisette’s situation was different from the others. Instinctively my gaze once more sought hers. The fact that she hadn’t fully vanished—at least not to me—meant a chance still existed that we could save her.

As Brimoire’s sole magic user, Evelyn still might be my only hope of breaking Lisette’s curse. She’d expressed her inability to help, but her magical knowledge and skill were rapidly growing as she explored her gift, and perhaps she’d be able to find a way to reach Lisette. But even if she possessed enough power to help, would her abilities extend to being able to rescue someone she couldn’t even see? I resolved to ask her at the earliest opportunity.

I yearned to confide in Ryland as well, but as I stared at his growing concern, my voice remained trapped. I’d spent my life desperate to maintain the proper image of the crown prince, especially in the face of my younger brother whom I often feared was more qualified for the role.

My future as king seemed meaningless in comparison with Lisette’s plight, yet I still needed to maneuver with care. The last thing she and I needed was for rumors to start about my fragile mental state. While my research had so far proven unprofitable, I felt a stab of horror at the thought of being removed from any last chance of discovering how to break the curse for the sake my supposed well-being, as well as the possibility of losing my royal authority and with it any potential of using my connection in an effort to contact the monastery or any others who might be able to provide information should I be deemed unstable.

Remembering how Ryland had lent me his support the night I’d spent searching for Lisette, I wondered if he was encouraging me…or merely humoring me. As I considered how to test the waters, my brother drew a hesitant breath, seeming unsure whether he should continue this undesirable topic. “Evelyn mentioned you believe Lisette is within the palace?”

I sighed, though to be fair I hadn’t asked for her secrecy. I should have known that my sister-in-law wouldn’t keep our conversation just between us, considering she and her husband confided in one another about everything. By Ryland’s delicate tone, this conversation had also included their doubts concerning my belief in Lisette’s lingering presence. Even though their reaction was rational, I couldn’t suppress my sinking feeling; apparently I’d placed more hope in Evelyn’s magic than I realized.

Because I knew the gesture had come from a place of caring, I wasn’t resentful they’d been talking about me; rather I was jealous of their closeness that allowed for such a conversation. I’d never discussed anything remotely so deep with my own fiancée; instead all of our past conversations had been riddled with shallow small talk and uncomfortable silences, something I ached to change even as topics that would interest her remained elusive. Rather than openly pursuing interesting hobbies like my brother, my entire life had been consumed by my duties as the crown prince, which I feared would only bore her.

Ryland experienced a similar hurdle when he and Evelyn first married. This reminder gave me hope that I too could mend the distance between me and my own fiancée, even as I still felt lost on how to go about the arduous task.

I had no time to consider the matter when Ryland interrupted my tumultuous thoughts to inform me that he’d woken me not merely to check on me but for a sudden meeting. He procured some crumpets he’d retrieved from the kitchen for a makeshift breakfast before we made our way to the meeting room where Father awaited us. As I followed Ryland from the study, I cast one last look over my shoulder at Lisette’s face, creased in concern.

Though my brother hadn’t informed me of the nature of this meeting, it wasn’t difficult to guess at possible topics—I suspected that there had either been a development with the steadily worsening curse, with the kingdom of Thorndale after news reached them concerning the fate of their princess, or…dread knotted my stomach at the final possibility that preparations for the new engagement I didn’t want might have progressed.

My trepidation only increased when Lisette followed us like a silent ghost through the corridors. While I was grateful she would remain close so I could keep an eye on her, I felt powerless at the thought that I wouldn’t be able to shield her from whatever we discussed.

Ryland walked just ahead. I sidled closer and lowered my voice so that Lisette wouldn’t risk overhearing. “Is this meeting about my arrangement?”

My heart sank at his nod. “I believe so.”

My desperation to prevent Lisette from accompanying me increased. I never wanted to glimpse the pain she fought to mask ever again. I had the duty as her betrothed to protect and cherish her, only to continuously fail, just as I’d failed to safeguard our kingdom.

I longed to discover a man worthy of her beneath the layers of responsibility that until this point had been my sole defining feature, but the way forward seemed to have been swallowed by the very force keeping my fiancée just out of reach.

Ryland misread the deepening distress he noticed in his sideways glance. “It’s unlike you to display so much emotion. Are you worried that your upcoming arrangement will be as disastrous as your first? I’m sure you’ll grow to care for her like I did Evelyn.”

My head swiveled towards Lisette in horror, knowing she must have heard and wondering how she would interpret the words. Without knowledge of her presence, Ryland had no reason to keep his voice down; even from several meters away I sensed her stiffen, attuned to her reaction by the invisible connecting force that allowed me to see her at all.

An emotion akin to jealousy filled her expression when I worriedly met her eyes. While I hated the thought of causing her any further distress, I couldn’t help also feeling a small measure of satisfaction—her envy served as promising evidence that perhaps she reciprocated some of my unrequited affection.

“My first wasn’t a disaster!” I nearly stumbled over my words in my desperation for my reassurances to prevent Lisette from choosing to fade away because of my brother’s mistaken assumption. “I love Lisette.”

His eyebrows rose. “Then your first task is to improve how you demonstrate your affection so it doesn’t come as such a surprise.” Thankfully he didn’t further elaborate on my failures during my previous courtship, whose details would only contradict my heartfelt confession and nourish Lisette’s doubt in the relationship she still couldn’t remember…an inadequacy that only confirmed my fear that I wasn’t a worthy match for her.

Fueled with the prospect of a second chance, I resolved to become worthy, a purpose difficult to fulfill when my inexperience left me unsure how to progress…especially with the added challenge that Lisette was not only invisible but had no memories of our previous relationship to help me better understand where we went wrong, leaving me no choice but to continue making it up as I went along.

How could I make up for the mistakes of my past when I had no knowledge of the expectations in a courtship beyond the shallow charade performed by the court?

Ryland seemed the best person to go to for advice, considering he both understood the pressures of my station and had found a way to achieve happiness himself, yet I wasn’t sure how to navigate asking such delicate questions while my fiancée listened in.

“Could I ask for your advice on…something?” I began haltingly. My brother looked at me expectantly as I fidgeted with my cravat. “I—well—you and Evelyn…”

“Is this about her magic?” Ryland prompted when I stalled.

I stifled a groan. “No, I’m hoping you could advise me on…” I fumbled through my pockets until I found the notebook I always carried with me; I’d used it for taking notes during last night’s research. Furtively shielding it from Lisette’s view, I flipped to a blank page and scrawled courtship methods, angling it towards Ryland.

His eyes widened, probably wondering about my secrecy considering we were the only visible people in the hallway.

“For the new—” His words faltered when I vehemently shook my head. A look of mixed sympathy and puzzlement crossed his face as he glanced around us, as if hoping to catch a glimpse of Lisette. He finally sighed and offered an apologetic shrug.

“I’m no expert in the matter, considering my own unconventional courtship with my wife; we didn’t fall in love until we were en route to annul our union.”

I had forgotten my brother’s romance had unfolded in such a tumultuous way, and one less than useful for my circumstances. Though he had begun his own love story as useless at romance as I currently was, in the end he had managed to secure his wife’s heart…though my own journey felt far more daunting considering his wife hadn’t been on the verge of vanishing.

Ryland continued considering the matter. “You could ask Father—his marriage was also arranged—but you know he dislikes speaking of Mother ever since her death.”

I shook my head with a sigh. No matter my desperation, I couldn’t rekindle such painful memories for Father, especially when his full focus was needed for our people.

Ryland rested a hand on my shoulder. In that moment all of our past differences seemed to fade, allowing us to recapture a glimpse the brotherly camaraderie that used to be commonplace between us. “Perhaps the one you should be asking is not someone removed from your courtship, but the very one whom you hope to woo.”

He was right. It might not be ideal circumstances carrying on such a personal conversation in the corridor in front of my brother, but I’d done far too much waiting already. Perhaps my talking to Lisette with Ryland present might even help him begin to be able to hear her.

I turned towards the wall where she hovered just as the door to the meeting room opened beside her. “Ah, Your Highnesses have arrived.” Lord Dorbeaux, the advisor I liked the least, stood in the doorway, eyes narrowed in his usual scrutiny that always seemed to be testing me, looking for ways to find me unworthy to rule.

My mouth snapped shut. I cast Lisette an apologetic glance and steeled myself in preparation to enter the room where I would be forced to temporarily set aside all matters of the heart. I forced myself to strip away any thoughts and emotions that didn’t align with my role as crown prince; I felt my mask settle firmly over my features until there was no hint of Lucien by the time I entered the room, only the crown prince. In a futile attempt to keep Lisette out of the meeting which would bring nothing but pain to us both, I tried to quickly shut the door behind me, but I acted too late; I could feel her presence just behind me as I surveyed the room.

Shock nearly faltered my secure hold over my regal bearing, for it wasn’t just Father and our usual advisors that greeted me, but several I didn’t recognize bearing the Thorndale colors and regalia.

I heard Lisette’s breath catch, a heart-wrenching sound that made me immediately regret that our necessary proximity had forced her to follow me. My stolen glance revealed that her shimmery visage had become even paler, her eyes wide with what almost looked like fear. I instinctively stepped closer, a pointless gesture considering it wasn’t her physical wellbeing I needed to protect but whatever message her kingdom’s representatives would impart, words that would be impossible to shield her from.

Frustration at my continued helplessness simmered. I wanted to turn to my brother and demand an explanation for why he hadn’t informed me of this development, but he looked just as surprised to see the entourage from Thorndale. It took every ounce of discipline for me to endure the courteous bows and polite pleasantries expected when greeting foreign dignitaries, especially as I was not the only one ill at ease; the room was fraught with tension.

When we’d finally concluded our tedious protocol, we took our seats around the circular table, Lisette standing unseen behind my chair. Father began the meeting. “We appreciate you journeying all this way to meet with us.” Though he kept his voice even, wariness filled his eyes—nothing good could come from a foreign dignitary visiting after their princess had met such a terrible fate within our territory.

The head Thorndale representative bowed his head. “Considering the grave risk in traveling at this time, we humbly ask that you excuse His Majesty from visiting in person.”

I gritted my teeth to keep my burning retort firmly at bay. The king clearly hadn’t deemed it too high a risk to send his daughter directly into the heart of the cursed land, nor in disregarding our warnings about which route would be safest for her to traverse.

Father nodded. “You are here to discuss what befell Princess Lisette and her entourage while traveling through Brimoire?”

“Naturally. The King of Thorndale demands compensation.” No expression of regret or condolences for their lost princess before their immediate demands for recompense, as if the King of Thorndale possessed no remorse for the tragedy that befell his daughter. I felt ashamed I’d gone our entire courtship without understanding the indifference Lisette endured in her home life.

Lisette pressed herself closer; my back tingled where her intangible torso brushed against it. I wanted to reach behind and take her hand, but even though she was invisible and the dignitaries she’d likely spent some time around gave no indication that they noticed her, I was afraid to draw any unwanted attention to her presence.

“You must understand that he cannot overlook the loss of the king’s daughter…his precious daughter. His Majesty demands compensation—all the lands that have fallen under the curse’s control, as well as double the resources our alliance promised through trade and the dowry payment.”

Father’s chair nearly toppled as he sprang to his feet. “Our kingdom’s needs are far too dire to spare so much. How can we afford—”

“You misunderstand: it is because His Majesty understands your kingdom’s precarious circumstances that he is choosing to act in mercy rather than invade your land in retribution. Surely this tribute is a preferable price than the devastation that will be caused by war?” While the dignitary’s expression remained impassive, I sensed his silent triumph.

Our mutual horror choked the air as Father fell silent, breathing heavily. My heart pounded wildly as my mind scrambled to sort through the resulting havoc should Thorndale—who possessed much mightier military strength even before our kingdom had been cursed—invade. A shudder ran through me as I realized they had the additional advantage of knowing the current safe route to the palace. Should Thorndale declare war, we would lose much more than what they currently demanded…though there was also a chance that all that would be required of us would be to sit back and sip our tea while we watched their armies vanish.

Though Father and I had feared such an outcome the moment we’d been forced to report the news to Thorndale that Lisette’s entire entourage had truly succumbed to the curse without a trace, the resulting repercussions were far worse than we’d initially imagined.

To think the King of Thorndale was willing to overlook the loss of his daughter for an expansion of his resources? Lisette’s home life had never been a topic of our limited conversation during our courtship, a fact I dreaded now that I was coming to realize the truth of her circumstances—her quietness, her hesitance to discuss anything beyond a surface level, and the way she recoiled whenever she heard a loud voice finally all came together in my mind, painting a loathsome picture. I ached to go back in time and shield her from the life of cruel callousness she’d endured under her father’s command.

My anger simmered and it was all I could do to gather enough discipline to keep it in check. In an effort to ground myself, I finally succumbed to the draw tugging my gaze towards Lisette. My heart wrenched at her utter defeat.

The indignation I felt at Thorndale’s obvious exploitation of a situation of their own causing rose to boiling point when I saw my fiancée’s crumpled expression. Dropping my mantle of poise along with my usually overpowering desire to be seen as wise and collected, I stood and glared at the emissary who had demanded compensation with no regard for the actual person deemed to be lost.

“This is all premature; Princess Lisette is not yet fully vanished.”

Every head swiveled towards me and the Thorndale representative nearly choked, his mouth dropping open as he gaped at me.

“It’s true,” I hastened to add. “I’ve been able to see and speak with her myself. She’s in some sort of in-between state where she’s mostly invisible but can still communicate. She’s trapped until we can break the curse and free—” I broke off as I met Father’s gaze, staring at me in dismay.

I hesitated, realizing I undoubtedly sounded ridiculous, but unwilling to allow my concern for my own image to interfere with the possibility of Lisette’s return. Assuming Thorndale possessed any care about their princess, if both our nations worked together, perhaps we could discover the cure.

Lord Dorbeaux stared at me through narrowed eyes. “Where is the princess currently?”

I glanced towards Lisette, who seemed torn between hope and terror. “Here, right behind my chair.”

The men around the long table exchanged glances and soft, disbelieving murmurs. “Is this some kind of insult?” The Thorndale emissary’s voice was icy.

“No, of course not. She’s simply not visible to anyone else at present.” An idea flashed through my mind and I gasped in triumph. “I can prove it!”

Father cleared his throat. “Son, why don’t you and I continue this discussion in private? You can wait in my study until I conclude the meeting.” He nodded at Ryland, who glanced uncertainly between me and Father before rising to escort me out.

I strode into the hallway, jerking away from my brother when he attempted to lay a conciliatory hand on my arm. “Tell me you believe me.”

He hesitated, his gaze sliding sideways before he sighed and silently started towards Father’s study. I followed, anxiously checking to make sure Lisette accompanied us, fearing that today’s events would have shaken her confidence.

I anxiously paced the study until I heard Father’s slow and weary footsteps. He quietly entered the room, meeting my eyes with mingled concern and compassion.

“I know it sounds delusional,” I said. “But Princess Lisette has not fully vanished. She’s nearly transparent and it seems I’m the only one who is able to see and hear her, but we’ve been working together to research the curse.”

Father shot a troubled glance towards Ryland, who shrugged. “Evelyn thinks there may be merit to this theory,” he offered.

Father’s expression became pensive as he turned back to me. “You mentioned you can prove her presence?”

I brightened, relieved that he was willing to listen rather than entirely dismissing me; from beside me, I sensed Lisette perk up as well. “I believe I’m the only one who can currently see her, but since we can communicate, I can ask her a question and relay her answer.” I turned to Lisette for confirmation and she gave a tentative nod. “Is there a question I wouldn’t know the answer to but she would?”

Father considered a moment before he angled himself towards the place I’d been looking where Lisette hovered.“How many were in your entourage when the curse struck you?”

She responded promptly. “My handmaid, Aira, was with me in the carriage, and we were accompanied by two guards on horseback, as well as the driver.”

I quickly relayed her response. Father nodded, though his frown lingered.

“That is a very specific answer, although I’m surprised that such a small group transported the princess for her wedding. Unfortunately there’s no way of confirming the truthfulness of her statement and that you’re not merely…” He hesitated.

“Imagining things?” Bitterness filled my voice, but I had to admit he had reason to wonder.

Lisette leaned forward and laid a nearly weightless hand on my arm. “The dignitaries you met with from Thorndale were General Radolf, Sergeant Gerbaut, Lieutenant Evenon, and Lord Bilmont, who confer with Father on matters of military strategy.”

This time when I relayed the information Father looked intrigued, as well as a little concerned to hear the visiting dignitaries were actually military.

“That does seem like information you wouldn’t have known since introductions were made before you arrived,” he said. “I would like nothing more than for the princess to truly be here. But even if she is, we’re still faced with the dual problems of convincing Thorndale that she has not actually vanished and finding a way to bring her back. I fear they will not back down from their demands until she is fully restored…if such a thing is possible.”

“How did the rest of the meeting go?” I clenched my hands to keep them from nervously tapping on the arm of my chair.

Father shook his head with a sigh. “We had no choice but to agree with their demands. They will return later with an official contract outlining their required price. I’m about to meet with our own advisors concerning the implications Brimoire will face; I don’t need to tell you that this is a loss we cannot afford. I’ll need both of you to attend. Perhaps we can expedite our curse research, but I fear we will need to turn most of our attention to gathering their payment…and possibly preparing for war.”

The only silver lining was that these matters took precedence over the unwanted discussions concerning my impending new arrangement that I didn’t want to endure, especially with my true fiancée nearby, a reprieve I was immensely grateful for. To my disappointment, ultimately my revelation about Lisette made little difference. Discouragement crippled me as I endured the meetings on other affairs that kept me separated from her for far too long, with little to show for the tedious hours that melted away.

Eventually it concluded, finally allowing me the opportunity for the long-awaited conversation I should have had with my fiancée years ago about just what she’d been forced to endure within the court of Thorndale.