Chapter 14 Blue
The sky bleeds shades of crimson and gold as the sun heaves itself up from the horizon, casting long, sleepy shadows across the dew-dappled grass. The air is thick and sweet with the scent of blooming jasmine, mingling with the earthy aroma of the river not far from here. It’s a sensory blanket, soothing and familiar.
I’m standing on the back porch of the clubhouse waiting for Vapor to join me, while all around me, the world is waking. There’s a hushed reverence that clings to the early morning hours, as if the universe itself is taking a moment to breathe.
Now that I’m at the clubhouse, I feel like I can breathe too. The oppressive heaviness that lurked in the halls and rooms within my father’s house always made me feel as if I couldn’t draw in a deep breath. Now, thanks to Vapor’s offer of protection, I’m finally free.
As I walk across the porch, the rough wood beneath my bare feet reminds me of the way Vapor’s hands felt on my skin. Part of me is ashamed of my behavior in the bathroom. Everything happened so fast that I didn’t know how to handle it. Fortunately, Vapor’s a good man who isn’t interested in taking advantage of me. He wants to protect me in every way possible. That’s obvious now, because he could have continued, but he didn’t.
I wanted to keep going, but he’s probably right. Waiting for love is something I’ve always wanted to do. I don’t know why I was so willing to throw that away to be with Vapor. I can’t possibly be in love with him… can I?
“She’s never had a burger? Like, ever?” a voice says a second before the screen door opens. It’s Bones, and Vapor’s right behind him.
“Nope. Her father’s a fucking tyrant.” Vapor flashes me a smile as he sets a platter down next to the barbecue. “We’re changing that right now.”
“You’re making hamburgers for breakfast?” I ask, confused.
“Yep.” Vapor grins as Bones ignites the grill. A huge poof of flames burst to life. “Better back up a couple of steps. He’s a bit of a pyro.”
“Man, if I’d know we were having a burger virgin, I would have made them extra special.” Bones uses a large spatula to lift the burger patties onto the grill.
I glance at Vapor, wondering if Bones knows. Why else would he make that comment? Vapor shakes his head quickly, as if trying to let me know that he didn’t say a word. Our unspoken communication passes unnoticed. For that, I’m grateful.
Even though I’ve been waiting for love, the pressure to have sex is always hanging over my head. Almost every television show seems obsessed with it. It’s in many of the books I read and it’s in tons of headlines, disguised as newsworthy. It feels like it’s impossible to avoid. I don’t know how I’ve lasted this long, but then again, how many real opportunities have I had?
“What do you want on yours?” Bones asks me.
“Um…” I stare at a huge plate of lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, and cheese slices. I don’t even know where to begin.
“How about the works?” Vapor suggests. “Then she can pick off whatever she doesn’t like.”
“One ‘the works’ coming right up. Medium?” Bones asks.
“Yeah,” Vapor says.
“Rare,” I correct. If a hamburger is anything like steak, I don’t want it over cooked.
“There’s nothing hotter than a woman who likes her meat close to raw.” Bones grins before turning his attention back to the grill, ignoring Vapor’s low, menacing growl of displeasure.
“Oh, stop.” I playfully swat his arm. “He’s just teasing you.”
“Better be.” Vapor glares at his friend’s back.
“I can’t believe I get a burger,” I say softly.
“Whatever you want. It’s yours. Just tell me.” He slides his arm around my waist and gently pulls me closer. I still marvel at his control. Most men wouldn’t risk blue balls if they were that close to having sex. The fact that he did that for me means a lot.
“Right now, all I need is food and sleep. And protection.” I slide my eyes up to meet his. There’s so much compassion in his expression that it melts my heart. It also awakens the sexual energy I thought I’d quelled during the brief time we were apart. I guess not.
“You’ll get all of that. I promise.” Vapor smiles before brushing a kiss across my lips.
“Okay, kids. Food’s done.” Bones assembles the burgers, adding so many toppings that I don’t know how he’s going to get a bun to stay on top.
“Want to eat inside or out here?” Vapor asks.
“Here’s fine.” I’d rather not go back inside and face any of the women who are still hopefully asleep in the living room. Jolene was enough. I don’t want to know who else he has slept with in the past.
We sit on the edge of the porch. Bones disappears inside with a plate full of steaming burgers. It’s still odd to me that they eat this for breakfast. Is this normal or did they do it just for me?
“Ready?” Vapor asks, handing a plate to me.
“I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life.” I chuckle even though I’m being completely serious.
The burger’s aroma envelops me the moment I set the plate in my lap. It’s a tantalizing mixture of seared meat, melted cheese, and the fresh, crisp scent of lettuce and tomatoes. It’s almost overwhelming, how just the smell alone makes my stomach growl in anticipation. I pick it up, the soft bun yielding slightly under my fingers, toasted just enough to add a subtle crunch while remaining plush and comforting.
I hesitate for a fraction of a second, marveling at the novelty, the ordinary miracle of it. Then, I take my first bite. The flavors explode in my mouth: the juiciness of the beef, rich and slightly smoky, perfectly seasoned, mixing with the creaminess of the cheese. The vegetables provide a cool, crisp contrast—one that’s fresh and slightly tangy, likely from the pickles nestled underneath.
The textures play against each other in a delightful dance. The meat is tender, yet it gives a satisfying chew, the lettuce is crunchy, and the tomatoes are soft, almost bursting with each bite. The bun, slightly buttery and toasted, holds everything together, adding a hint of sweetness and a gentle crunch that resonates softly with each bite.
As I continue eating, the world around me fades into a blur of sensations. The savoriness of the meat, the slight tang of mustard mingling with the subtle sweetness of ketchup, the occasional sharp bite of onion—all these flavors meld into a symphony that captivates all my senses. The burger isn’t just food; it’s an experience, a discovery of tastes and textures I’ve never known in such harmony.
Swallowing, I feel a rush of satisfaction, an almost euphoric blend of delight and surprise at the simple joy of this new experience. The lingering flavors in my mouth leave me eager for the next bite, and with it, the comforting knowledge that this meal—this perfectly ordinary burger—is a first, a memorable plunge into a new, deliciously tangible aspect of life.
I love that I get to share this moment with Vapor. He’s chowing down, inhaling his burger in a way I’ve never witnessed before. In high society, everyone uses forks and knives. God forbid anyone let a single drop of sauce hit their chins. But Vapor’s dripping sauce all over his face, and I desperately want to lick it off.
“What?” he asks between mouthfuls.
“Nothing.” I quickly turn my attention back to my food.
“You were staring at my mouth.” His smirk is hotter than ever. He’s so cocky, but that’s part of why I like him so much. Manners don’t matter to him at all. Not that he’s a total heathen, but he’s nothing like the men my father made me sit next to at dinner.
“This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” I declare, licking my fingers. I wasn’t allowed to do that either. But now, I can.
“What else haven’t you had that you want to try?”
“Basically, everything that’s considered junk food. Not that I want to be super unhealthy. It’s just… That kind of food was forbidden my entire life. I felt like I was missing out on so much.”
“Like?” he prompts.
“Cotton candy. Pizza.”
“No shit?” He stops chewing and stares.
“Never had a single slice,” I confirm.
“That’s ridiculous. A piece here or there isn’t going to hurt anyone.”
“Tell that to my dad.” I roll my eyes.
“I guess we’re going to have a lot of firsts together.” He smiles, and I can’t help but wonder if he means sex too. God, I’m such a headcase. I think it’s because I’m deliriously exhausted after everything that happened last night.
“My father would freak out if he knew I just finished a cheeseburger.” I use a napkin to wipe my mouth. “He was obsessed with keeping me at this weight.”
“Why?”
“I’ve always been a product to him. Not a person. Since before I was born, he had a plan. Basically, to sell me to the highest bidder in a way. Not literally. Money wasn’t going to change hands when I married Broussard. But their business alliance would be even stronger because of our marriage. Broussard would essentially be a part of our family, and my father would have a more powerful partner in the financial underworld.”
“Those men do horrific things to our city. They get them hooked on drugs, which kills people. And trafficking.” He shakes his head in disgust. “You should have seen how scared those girls were.”
“But they’re safe now… because of you.” I turn to look at him, and I’m surprised by the expression of grief on his face. “Vapor, what’s wrong?”
“They killed my sister.”
“Who did? My father? Broussard?”
“All of them. Your father, Broussard, and Juan Vasquez. Each one of them had a hand in her death.”
“What happened?” I ask softly.
The door to the clubhouse opens and a giggling pair of women wearing next to nothing tumble out.
“Hey, Vape,” one of them calls. She tosses her long blonde hair over her shoulder and gives him a salacious wink. “You’re up early.”
“I was just about to head to bed,” he says, standing and reaching for my hand. I grasp it and rise.
“Is she a new girl?” the other scantily clad woman asks, eyeing me with suspicion. If she’s trying to size me up, I wonder what she sees.
“No. She’s staying here under my protection,” he says. “If anyone fucks with her, they’re done. No second chances. Got it?”
“Sure,” the second woman says.
“M-kay.” The first smirks before eyeing the grill. “Bones cooked?”
“Yeah, food’s inside.” Vapor opens the door for me and holds it for the other women.
I’m relieved to see that he treats them with more respect than he gave Jolene last night. Although, I can’t really blame him for being a jerk to her. She shouldn’t have snuck into his room to begin with. Not that I’m much better.
When we get back to his room, he closes the door and turns to me. “I’ll sleep on the floor. You can have the bed. I don’t know about you, but I need more sleep.”
“I didn’t get any,” I say, while my gaze drifts to the bed. “We can share it.”
“The bed?” He cocks his head slightly. “Are you sure?”
“You’ve proven you can control yourself. Also, I want to hear more about your sister, if that’s okay.”
He tucks his bottom lip into his mouth, gnawing on it with his perfectly white teeth. “I’ve got some extra shirts. You can use one to sleep in.”
“Okay.”
After he hands me a clean shirt, I head into the bathroom to change. I hold the fabric to my nose and inhale. It smells like him, that faint hint of musky male that drives me wild. Maybe sleeping in the same bed isn’t the best idea.
When I walk back into the bedroom, he’s already tucked under the sheets. Lying on his back, he’s got his hands hooked behind his head. He’s propped on a couple of pillows and although he looks relaxed, there’s tension in his eyes.
His gaze rakes down my body. I fight the urge to tug the shirt lower. It’s already almost down to my knees, covering everything except for my legs. There isn’t much to look at, but he can’t seem to tear his gaze away.
“You’d look good in anything,” he murmurs.
“Thank you.” Heat rushes to my cheeks as I climb into bed beside him. I’m careful not to get too close. It feels a bit like I’m getting into bed with a gator. He’s still and serene, but he could bite at any moment. I should be scared, but I’m not. I trust him.
“My sister’s name was Demi.”
“That’s a beautiful name.” I’d love to find out what his given name was, but it’s not important right now.
“She was a sorority sister at Tulane. Had the prettiest long, curly brown hair. Guys went nuts for her. I had to pound a couple into the ground when she was still in high school because they couldn’t keep their fucking hands to themselves.”
“You were her older brother.”
“By fifteen years. My parents called her an oopsies baby. They didn’t want to deal with raising another kid, so it fell on me.” The pain in his voice makes me reach for his hand. He lets me pull out from behind his head. Turning toward me, he lays on his side, still holding my hand in his.
“That’s a lot of responsibility for a fifteen-year-old.”
“It was. But I loved her right from the start. I never considered her a burden the way they did.”
“Where are your parents now?”
“Dead.”
“Oh, no. I’m so sorry.”
“Died in a car accident six months before Demi died. I lost my whole family in less than a year. But I had the club. That’s the only reason I’m still here. I wouldn’t have survived without my MC brothers.” He lets out a shaky breath.
“So, Demi was at Tulane,” I prompt, hoping that he’ll tell me what happened.
“She was at a party the night she died. I knew something was wrong. Even though we weren’t twins, we had that strange connection twins have. I tried calling her, but she didn’t answer. So, I went down there. To the sorority house.”
I stay silent, giving him time to process the memories. I don’t want to push him too hard, but I also get the sense that he needs to talk to someone. It’s almost as if he’s never told anyone the details before. Maybe he has, but my gut is telling me that isn’t the case.
“She was in the upstairs bathroom. Dead. From a drug overdose.” Tears fill his eyes. “My baby sister was gone.”
“What happened?” I whisper.
“She had a needle in her arm. I took it. The cops wouldn’t have cared about who gave her the drugs, but I did. So, I stole it and gave it to Fang. He has a friend who specializes in drug testing. The guy told us that she died from a fentanyl overdose. There was heroin in the syringe too.”
“Those are really addictive drugs.”
“Yeah. The guy who did the testing said that the heroin wasn’t the issue. The amount she took wouldn’t have killed her. But the mix contained enough fentanyl to kill a horse. That’s what killed her.”
“Contaminated drugs.”
“Exactly.”
“How is this connected to my father or Broussard? I get the connection to Juan Vasquez, since he’s the head of the Los Serpientes de Cristal drug cartel.”
“Broussard’s just his money man. Your father’s also connected to Vasquez. I wasn’t entirely sure about that until you confirmed it. Now I’m positive that they move in the same circles. Vazquez is the one I want. He’s the one who’s going to pay for killing my sister.” The venom in his tone sends chills up my spine. But I get it. Even though Lacy and I don’t always get along, she’s still my sister. If someone killed her, I’d want revenge too.
“What’s your plan to get to him?” I ask.
“That’s the problem. I don’t have one. Not exactly.”
“But you’re having Broussard launder money for the MC.”
“That’s as far as I’ve gotten. I’m hoping that if I get in good with him, I’ll get access to his associates, including Vasquez.”
“Does Vasquez know about your sister’s death?”
“I doubt it. She’s probably just another druggie to him. One less customer.” He drops his chin. “If I’d known how much she was hurting after our parents’ deaths, I could have done something. Brought her back to the clubhouse. Taken care of her. Something. She didn’t have to die too.”
“I’m so sorry.” I caress the edge of his cheek with the back of my fingers.
“She could have been anything. So smart. So beautiful. But she was trapped in her head. She couldn’t get past the pain of losing them.”
“When someone’s trapped like that, everything feels impossible. Without hope, it’s hard to see a future for yourself.”
“It sounds like you know exactly how she felt.”
“No. It’s different. She lost her parents. I haven’t lost mine.”
“Haven’t you? Your mom’s off gallivanting around in Europe when she should be at home protecting you from your father. And he’s a fucking piece of work, selling his daughters off like cattle. It’s disgraceful.”
“You’re right. It’s almost as if they’ve died, but they’re still alive. It’s almost worse in some ways.”
“Blue.” He pulls me into him, wrapping me in the warmth of his body. “From now on, I’ll be the one to protect you. You’re not marrying Broussard and your father won’t have any say in your life anymore. Whatever you want to do, whoever you want to be, I’m going to make it happen.”
“Oh, Vapor.”
I bring my lips to his, trying to kiss the heartbreak and pain away. He takes over, pressing his mouth to mine, parting my lips with his tongue, and caressing me from the inside out. I melt into the sheets, surrendering to his promise of a new life. Of freedom. I have no doubt he’s going to protect me.
A frantic knock sounds on the door. It cracks open and Bones pops his head in. “Sorry, Pres. But we’ve got a fucking problem.”
“What?” Vapor releases me and sits.
“Her father.” Bones nods at me. “He’s downstairs. And he’s fucking pissed.”
Every muscle in my body tenses. My heartbeat thumps through my ears so loudly I can barely hear them speaking. I feel like I’m listening to them from far away or that my head’s being held under swamp water. I can’t breathe.
“Shit. You didn’t say anything, did you?” Vapor jumps up and pulls on his clothes in record time.
“Fuck no. I’m not a dumbshit.”
I struggle against a wave of terror. If my father finds out I’m here, he’s going to kill me. I wouldn’t have even considered that a possibility before what happened last night. But now? Now I don’t know what he’s capable of. What will he do to the club if he finds out they’re hiding me from him?
“What about the sluts? Did any of them say anything about Blue being here?” Vapor asks.
“No. He’d be even more unhinged if he actually knew she was here.”
“I’ll deal with it. Hold him off for a second.” Vapor turns to me. “Babe, stay here. Don’t come out of this room for any reason. Okay?”
I shake my head up and down, but my tongue refuses to move. My eyes are huge as I watch him close the door, leaving me alone.
Scrambling off the bed, I tiptoe to the window which overhangs the front porch. Carefully sliding it open, I listen for the sound of my father’s furious voice. And what I hear terrifies me.