Chapter 23 Blue
The ringing in my ears sounds like a million buzzing bees. The scent of smoke fills the air. People who were inside the clubhouse run out, screaming. It’s complete chaos all around us. If Vapor wasn’t protecting me, I have no idea how I’d survive this mess.
He waits until the fiery debris stops falling before helping me to my feet. “Are you hurt?” Vapor’s deep voice cuts through the haze, his piercing blue eyes searching mine for any sign of injury.
I shake my head, unable to speak, my throat constricting with emotion. He tries to console me, his strong arms wrapping around me protectively, but I’m in shock. A storm rages within me. The implication of what just happened is threatening to drown my very soul. I know exactly who did this and why. My father. Because he wants me to marry Broussard.
“I need to check on the others,” Vapor says, holding my hand while walking toward Ice. “Anyone trapped in there?”
“Everyone got out except for one of the club girls.”
“Shit. Is she…” Vapor’s gaze slides to me before his attention returns to Ice.
“Yeah.”
“Fuck!”
Sirens pierce the night. A firetruck turns onto the street, forcing onlookers to scatter onto the sidewalk. The men get to work, putting out the fire burning inside the house.
“Is there anything in the clubhouse we should get rid of before the cops get here?” Ice asks.
“No. Fang’s got his laptop.” He jerks his head toward the group of patched members huddled together. “The other shit’s at the warehouse or the shop.”
“I’ll call Tank. Make sure he sweeps the garage for bombs.”
“Good. Who’s at the warehouse?” Vapor asks.
“Shouldn’t be anyone there, but let’s send Bones and Diablo to check it out. If someone’s trying to take out the club, they’ll go after our other shit too.”
“My father,” I whisper.
“He sent this text a few minutes ago.” Vapor hands his phone to Ice.
“Fuck.”
“I should have texted you guys immediately.”
“Wouldn’t have mattered. By the time we saw it and got everyone moving, the bomb would have gone off already. That text wasn’t a warning. It was an admission of guilt.”
“Yeah.”
“We need a place to regroup. Somewhere to hole up for the night.” Ice waves Fang over. “Can you find a hotel with enough rooms for everyone?”
“On it.” Fang sits on the curb, tapping away on his phone.
Turning toward the destruction, I still can’t believe this is real. The clubhouse is still standing, but barely. The shattered windows gape open like the mouths of the damned, and the charred walls bear witness to the devastation that has befallen us. The lingering smell of smoke is heavy in the air, like the ghostly remnants of a funeral pyre.
My father’s control is inescapable. His poisonous influence reaches every corner of my life, and now it’s seeped into my sanctuary. I know he will never, ever stop coming for me. My decision not to marry Broussard almost cost us everything. Someone died because of me. If I continue to refuse to get married, how many more people will lose their lives?
“Babe, we’ll get through this,” Vapor whispers, his breath warm against my ear. “We’ll figure it out together.”
There’s nothing to figure out. I can’t keep him, or anyone associated with him, safe as long as I’m ensnared in my father’s web. There’s only one way to make him stop. I know exactly what I need to do. Every fiber of my being yearns for freedom, yet the chains that bind me seem unbreakable.
As I wrestle with the conflicting emotions swirling within me, a hurricane of love and fear, desire and despair threatens to consume me. The only way to keep Vapor safe is to give up my freedom.
“I can’t stay with you,” I say softly. “Promise me you’ll stay safe and keep your distance until I find a way out of this mess.”
“No. I’m not letting you out of my sight. Your father has proven he will go to any length to terrorize you. It’s my job to protect you. Not the other way around.”
“But—”
“Stop.” He pulls me tight against his chest. “You’re not going anywhere. You’re mine, Blue. And I don’t care what I must do to keep you. If you still care about me, I’m not letting you go.”
“I love you, Vapor. I always will, but my father’s going to kill you for taking me away from him. If something happens to you, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to me.” His gaze narrows and darkness creeps into his eyes. “But your father will have to pay for this.”
In the past, I might have considered vengeance, but what will it cost us? Marrying Broussard disgusts me. However, it could be the only safe option. I can’t let my father kill the man I really love. To protect him, I don’t think I have a choice. I’m going to have to leave him.
Hours later, after Vapor and Fang make sure all the men and women associated with the NOLA chapter are safely tucked inside their hotel rooms, I lay on top of the comforter staring up at the ceiling. Vapor’s sleeping beside me, oblivious to the terrible decision I’m about to make. I just don’t see any other option.
Carefully slipping out of bed, I check to make sure he’s still sleeping. I pad across the room and sit at the small desk beside the mini fridge. The dim glow of the bedside lamp casts shadows across the hotel room as I uncap the pen. A small notepad sits beside the telephone.
I turn it around and set pen to paper. My heart aches with every word I write, but I know this is the only way to protect the man who has stolen my heart and given me a taste of the freedom I’ve always craved.
“Vapor,” I begin, the ink bleeding into the crisp white paper, “I never thought I’d be lucky enough to meet someone like you. You make me feel alive in a way I’ve never experienced before. But the weight of my father’s control hangs over us like a dark cloud, threatening to suffocate everything we have.”
Tears blur my vision as I continue, pouring my soul onto the page. “I don’t want to marry Broussard, but the stakes are too high. If I don’t, my father will never let you go. He’ll hunt you down, and I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”
My hand trembles as I finish the note, signing it with a simple, “I love you, Blue.”
The finality of the words sends a shudder through my body, yet this is what I must do. It’s the sacrifice I have to make to ensure Vapor’s safety.
Carefully, I fold the letter and tiptoe across the room, the plush carpet muffling my footsteps. Vapor’s chest rises and falls steadily, his handsome face relaxed in sleep. For a moment, I allow myself to memorize the sight of him, knowing that our time together is fleeting.
With a heavy heart, I place the note on his bedside table, my hand lingering for a moment before I pull away. The air is thick with tension and sadness, the silence punctuated only by the steady rhythm of Vapor’s breathing.
As I slip out of the hotel room, leaving behind the man I love in the hopes of protecting him, I pray that one day we’ll find our way back to each other. For now, though, I must face the storm alone and confront the demons that have haunted me for so long.
“Goodbye, Vapor,” I whisper into the darkness, my voice cracking with the weight of my decision. And with that, I step into the unknown, propelled by the strength of my love and the desperate hope that somehow, someway, we will be together again.
***
As I step out of the taxi, the iron gates of my father’s mansion loom before me like a prison. I swallow hard. My heart pounds in my chest. Part of me can’t believe I’m walking back into this place, but what choice do I have?
I walk up to the gate and punch in the code to get in. It works. Maybe he knew I’d come crawling back eventually, so he never bothered to change it. He was right. Maybe I’ve been fooling myself this entire time; after all, who knows me better than him?
The front door swings open and my father steps onto the porch. He glances at me before looking past me, searching the lawn to see if anyone is with me. I’ve never felt this alone in my entire life.
“Welcome home, Blue,” my father says, his voice cold and devoid of warmth. “I’m glad you finally made the right choice.”
“I’m only doing this because I don’t have any other options. I hate you for what you did. You killed someone.”
“One of their sluts. Doesn’t count,” he says dismissively.
“How do you—you know what, never mind. I don’t even care anymore. You’re getting what you’ve always wanted. I should have known you’d stop at nothing to make me marry that monster. Are you happy now?”
“You’re such an ungrateful little bitch.” He grabs my upper arm and drags me into the house. As he pulls me upstairs, I yank my arm away. “I have a surprise for you.”
“I don’t want it.”
The door to my bedroom swings open and Lacy steps out. The smug expression on her face makes me realize she knows everything. She was in on it. Maybe not directly, but she knew, and she could have stopped the bombing. But she didn’t. She’s just as bad as he is.
“Why are you here?” I demand.
“Someone had to bring the dress. Although you didn’t ever go back for any more fittings, I’m sure it will look fine.”
“Do you know what he did?” I point at my father.
“What he had to do. I still don’t understand why you’re being such a baby about this. After tomorrow, you’ll be rich beyond your wildest dreams.”
“Make sure she’s ready by ten,” Father says, glaring at me before shutting me inside my bedroom with my sister. This time, I hear a lock click behind me. I could still escape through the window, but that would mean putting Vapor in danger again. I just can’t do it.
“You’ve made your choice,” Lacy says. “You and that biker could have run away together. Fled the country. But you stayed. Stupid. Get some sleep. You don’t want to look tired for the wedding photos.”
I don’t sleep a wink. I’m still awake when my father unlocks the door the next morning. Several women I’ve never met file into the room carrying a variety of bags and boxes. I watch in silence as they transform my bedroom into a bridal chamber.
“Get yourself ready,” my father commands, satisfaction evident in his smirk. “Your groom is waiting.”
I mechanically prepare for the wedding. My movements are slow and calculated, devoid of joy as I allow the team of makeup artists and hair stylists attack me with their instruments. Lacy oversees everything, directing them to curl my hair tighter or add more blush. I don’t care about any of it. I’m just a doll to be made up, not even human anymore.
Right before we’re set to leave, I slip into the elegant but suffocating gown my sister chose. The mermaid lace V-neck gown clings to my body like a second skin, constricting my movements and making it difficult to breathe. My reflection in the mirror is that of a stranger’s. I’m nothing but a beautiful, hollow shell about to be sacrificed on the altar of my father’s ambitions.
The tension in the air is palpable, like a storm waiting to break, and apprehension coils in the pit of my stomach. I can’t shake the image of Vapor’s sleeping face, the memory of his touch still lingering on my skin. But this is the price I must pay to keep him safe—a cruel exchange.
As I take one final look at myself in the mirror, I whisper a silent prayer that Vapor will find a way to move on without me. Although my heart is heavy with the weight of my decision, I must walk this path alone.
“Good luck, Blue,” I say to my reflection, steeling myself for what lies ahead. “You’re going to need it.”
The door to my bedroom opens and my father strides in. His presence is commanding and authoritative. With a flick of his wrist, he sends the women who came to assist me out of the house.
“Not bad.” His eyes sweep over me, taking in the gown that encases my body like a straitjacket.
“That’s all you have to say?” I challenge.
“Ah, Blue, my beautiful daughter. You look exquisite. I knew this day would come, and I couldn’t be prouder,” he says, his voice dripping with false warmth and satisfaction.
“You always get what you want,” I manage to choke out.
“Of course I do. Today is the day you become Mrs. Justin Broussard, fulfilling your destiny and securing our future among New Orleans’ elite.” The way he speaks makes it clear this wedding has nothing to do with love or happiness, but rather power and control.
“I will hate you forever for this,” I begin, wanting to express my disgust, but he cuts me off with a dismissive wave of his hand.
“This is for the best. You will thank me one day. Now, let’s not keep your groom waiting any longer.”
As he leaves the room, I turn back to the mirror, my reflection staring back at me with hollow, haunted eyes. Adjusting the veil atop my coppery red hair, I can’t help but feel the weight of the world pressing down on me. My father’s words echo in my head, a constant reminder of the life he has planned for me—a life devoid of love, passion, or freedom.
Taking a deep breath, I steel myself for what lies ahead. I’ll get through this. I have to. For Vapor.
The next hour is a daze. A limousine comes to pick me, Lacy and Father up. We arrive at the cathedral and are whisked into the bridal waiting room. There isn’t a minute to spare. We’re only inside the room for a couple of minutes before the groomsmen and bridesmaids, socialites I barely know, arrive to start the procession.
The music swells, carrying through the closed doors at the rear of the cathedral. As the wedding party begins the long walk down the aisle, everything inside me freezes. I could still turn and run, but how far would I get in this dress? No matter how far or how fast I try to flee, my father will always find me.
“You’re next,” Father says, appearing suddenly and holding out his arm. When I don’t immediately reach for it, he scowls. “Take it. And I don’t want to see a single moment of hesitation. Smile for the goddamn photos.”
I shouldn’t be shocked by anything at this point, but swearing in a house of God is beyond the pale. I doubt even Vapor would be that crass.
When the door opens, I’m momentarily blinded by the dazzling chandeliers overhead. As my eyes adjust, I take in the grandeur of the cathedral. Marble columns, gilded moldings, and a sea of white orchids surround me. It’s like stepping into another world, one that feels cold and alien compared to the warmth and camaraderie of the UVMC clubhouse.
Taking my first measured step down the aisle, my heart races, each beat echoing my inner turmoil. The anticipation in the air is palpable. Everyone turns to watch me on what feels like a death row march to the execution of my soul.
As I make my way towards my fate, I try to drown out my thoughts of escaping before they make me do something stupid.
“This is for Vapor,” I whisper so silently I doubt even my father heard me.
The delicate rustle of my gown against the polished floor is drowned out by the overpowering wedding march being played by the organist. The scent of the orchids fills my nostrils, their beauty a stark contrast to the darkness lurking beneath the surface of this union.
If the priest standing at the front of the congregation had any idea what was going on, he’d stop it. I’m sure of it. Some men are incorruptible.
The tight constriction in my chest steals the oxygen from my lungs. I silently remind myself to breathe so I won’t pass out in front of everyone. With every step, it becomes harder to hold back the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. I’m sure people think these are tears of happiness, not tears of despair.
As I reach the altar, I fix my gaze on Broussard. His cold, calculating eyes bore into mine, sending shivers down my spine. This man holds the key to protecting Vapor, but at what cost? I swallow hard, willing myself to stay strong.
“We are gathered here today to…” The priest’s voice becomes background noise to my racing thoughts.
It’s a cruel irony that on a day meant to symbolize love and unity I’m being forced into bondage. For Vapor’s sake, I’ll endure this masquerade, clinging to the hope that one day he’ll find happiness and forget he ever met me. I’ll never, ever forget the love we shared, but because I love him with all my heart, we’ll never be able to be together again.