CHAPTER 7 BEN
I watch as she catches up with old friends and makes new ones. I hang back to allow her to do her thing—to allow her to take center stage because that’s where she deserves to be.
My heart aches that she’s spent so much of her life fading into the background, and my goal is for her to know that she matters…that she’s someone’s priority.
She’s my priority.
I get her a vodka seven because I know it’s her favorite even though she often orders wine to appear older than she is—her way of stepping out of her brothers’ shadows.
She doesn’t have to do that with me.
She doesn’t have to pretend she wants something she doesn’t because I will give her everything I can so long as it doesn’t compromise my own values.
Except that’s where there’s a line in the sand.
She doesn’t just want kids. She doesn’t want to be with a football player.
But she’s going to be as we barrel on toward training camp after Montana, and then the season will start and she’ll be cast into a different shadow as my career takes over. And when September hits us and the end of our contract is upon us, that’s when we can decide what the next step is.
We can decide whether what I’m about to do is genuine, and whether her answer is, too.
This party is different from the parties I usually throw. A few months ago, I would’ve been sitting on a couch surrounded by a bevy of women, and I would’ve had my pick of which one I wanted to take to an empty elevator to have my way with.
Tonight, that’s not what I’m doing.
Tonight, that doesn’t even sound like something I’d want to be doing.
I’m simply enjoying the view of Kaylee having a fun evening.
To be clear, I’m also having a good time.
I am, after all, Ben Fucking Olson, and I’m not a wallflower who fades into the background, particularly not at a party.
There aren’t any beer cans at this party for Detonator, only pint glasses, but Eric Scott meets me at the bar.
“A hundred bucks says I can chug one faster than you,” he says.
“Why don’t you just give me the money?” I ask, shaking his hand.
He laughs, and we each order a fresh beer.
I win. Easily.
Cory Marshall lines up behind him. “Double or nothing,” he says.
I order another, and a minute later, Cory’s sending me two hundred bucks via Venmo.
These guys will never learn, but I don’t want to get too wasted…yet.
I’ve got plans, and I refuse to foil them just because I’m known as one of the league’s greatest party animals. I’m going to show another side of myself tonight, and this side needs to have at least some semblance of sobriety to do what I’m about to do.
Still, though, I win beer pong against Jack next, and then I ask Kaylee if she wants to dance since physical activity will allow me to slow my path to Drunktown.
We light up the dance floor. We’re drinking and laughing and she’s dancing with me seemingly without a care in the world. I grind my hips against her ass, and she leans back into me. It’s her wordless way of showing me that we’ve turned a corner since everything went down last Sunday.
I’m standing near the bar ordering a fresh round and watching Kaylee across the rooftop as she laughs with the friends who trekked all the way from Michigan to Vegas for the party when Kate sidles up beside me. “Great party,” she says. She orders a glass of wine.
I offer a smile. “Thanks. Took a lot of covert work, but with your and Ellie’s help, we made it happen.”
She nods, and she follows my gaze toward Kaylee. She glances around us, and then she says, “Seems like an awful lot of work for a pretend relationship. For someone you’re not counting on being a long-term part of your future.”
I look around the two of us, too. We’re pretty much alone. The loud music pumping from the speakers would drown out our conversation from listening ears anyway, but that doesn’t mean I can give away our truth.
I shrug. “She’s Jack’s little sister, and he issued a warning that I should treat her like my little sister, too.”
She clears her throat. “Jack didn’t plan this party. You did. Jack doesn’t look at her the way you do, either.”
“I don’t know what you’re implying,” I say as I play dumb.
“I think you do. Is there something going on between the two of you?”
I shake my head. “We’ve got a contract and we’re putting on a show. That’s all.”
She presses her lips together and nods. “Okay. I don’t buy what you’re selling, but if that’s how you want to play it, fine.
It’s just…nobody’s that good of an actor, Ben.
” She tips her glass of wine at me and offers a smile before she heads back toward her husband and I’m left wondering whether we need to play it a little cooler.
Except I don’t want to play it cooler.
Appetizers are served, drinks are flowing, the music is pumping, and as I look around, everyone appears to be having a good time.
Kaylee’s in that perfect spot where she’s a little tipsy as she dances with Ellie and Kate and she takes selfies with everybody in attendance—perfect for her Instagram album, I’m sure.
She’s rubbing elbows with celebrities and athletes alike, and it’s all in her honor.
With every minute the clock inches closer to midnight, my chest pulses and tightens with a little more fear.
Am I really going to do this?
I’ve only done it once before, and my entire world was obliterated seconds afterward.
It doesn’t matter if this is real or fake. It’s still an action that rocked my world and changed who I was the last time I did it, but my reasons are quite different this time.
Last time it was for love, among other reasons, but hindsight has allowed me to see it was also because I was trying to hang onto something that wasn’t mine along with something that wasn’t there anymore.
This time it’s to protect the two of us and what we’re trying to do. To get idiots like Billy Peters to shut the fuck up for a few minutes. As an added bonus, it’ll help further our plan. It’ll support our social media initiatives and help us raise money.
But that’s not the only reason why I’m doing it. Doing something disingenuous for the sole purpose of raising money feels dirty to me, so I’ve decided to match whatever she raises via her sponsorships.
I want to shower Kaylee with gifts on her birthday, and the sponsor match is just the first one.
I also want to show her that while there are certain things I’m unwilling to bend on, there are parts of my future where I’m willing to make a compromise because of her.
When Ellie presented the idea to us, I ran in fear.
I’m still scared, but knowing it’s with Kaylee helps relax some of that fear. The last few days have been rough, but I want her to see how serious I am. I want her to feel that I’m ready to make a real commitment to her even if we have to hide the real part from the people we’re closest to.
I want to show her tonight that it doesn’t matter who believes what. All that matters is us. Her family can believe we’re putting on a show. Everyone else can believe what we’re doing is real.
Only the two of us know where the truth lies, and tonight, we’re going to define exactly what that truth means.
If I can bend on this—if I can compromise one of the things I said I’d never do—then maybe she can meet me halfway.
I glance at my watch. I wanted it to be on her birthday, and it’s three minutes to midnight.
I search the rooftop for her, and I find her with her head thrown back as she laughs at something.
She’s standing with two of her Michigan friends, Cory, and Jaxon.
I don’t want to interrupt her good conversation, but it’s time.
I make my way over, and I move in behind her. I grip her hips with my fingertips and lower my head toward her ear. “Can I steal you away for a minute?”
She turns to look up at me, and the heat in her eyes tells me she has the wrong idea about what I’m asking. While that’s definitely on my agenda for tonight, now’s not the time, especially not when I can’t fuck up this timing.
I did, after all, spend a lot of time convincing the fire chief to approve this (along with a hefty donation to the station).
She smiles and tips her chin back, so I lean down and press a soft kiss to her mouth.
I grab her hand and walk her over toward the side of the rooftop that overlooks the Strip.
It’s a gorgeous view of a place that holds a lot of special meaning to me, and it feels like I’m putting some of that meaning behind me as I start walking down a new path tonight.
I glance at my watch as we get into position. One minute to midnight.
It’s time.
We’re off by ourselves for the moment, and I’m ready to start the speech I’ve rehearsed endlessly since this idea came to me.
I take her hands in mine and face her. The music is loud, and we’re off by ourselves, so this moment is for us even though out of the corner of my eye, I can see the attention already moving in our direction.
“It’s been a strange few weeks, but there’s one thing I know for certain.”
I draw in a deep breath as I prepare to say the words I know I need to say even though they are absolutely terrifying. “I am so fucking in love with you.”
Her eyes widen at my words, but she waits for me to finish.
“We can still pretend that’s not what this is if we need to, and we can pretend it is what it is for everybody else, but nobody else matters.
When it’s just you and me, I know that I want you to be a part of my future.
So while I’m doing this in front of everybody for all the reasons you already know, I also want you to know that for me, this is genuine.
You’ve found a way into my heart in a way that nobody else ever has.
Ever. We can talk about what that means later.
I love you, Kaylee, and I can’t imagine a future where you’re not in it. ”
I drop her hands as I get down onto my knee, my hands trembling as I reach into my pocket where the little box has nestled all night. I flip open the lid and my eyes move to hers. “Will you marry me?”