CHAPTER 13 KAYLEE
Our first day together is largely signing paperwork for Carla, but I find an easy rhythm with Cooper from the start. He’s friendly and kind, and he can make me laugh like we’ve been friends for years rather than for five minutes.
And even though I find him incredibly attractive (because holy shitballs, who wouldn’t?), I’m not nervous around him because I’m not interested in anything more than a friendship.
I’m too hurt over Ben. I’m too hopeful Ben will come back around even after what he did and the words he said.
I’m scared because of the babies.
And it’s weird because we’re not just new colleagues, but we’re new roommates, too. It’s too complicated.
As I put my attraction to him out of mind completely, I realize for maybe the first time that it’ll probably be a long time before I’m ready to dive back into the dating pool, and it’ll be even longer before I find the right someone who wants to be with a woman who has twin babies.
The thought leaves me feeling very lonely. I absolutely brought this on myself since I’m the one who chose to move to California and leave my entire family behind, but even though this fresh start was what I wanted, it’s still terrifying.
I blink away tears as we walk together back to our apartment once Carla told us it was quitting time for the day at five on the dot.
“Are you hungry?” he asks on our way up the elevator. He’s munching on a Slim Jim as he asks.
I nod, my nose wrinkling at the smell of the beef stick which, for the record, I researched and learned I cannot eat while pregnant.
“Want to try one of the places around here?” he asks, correctly assuming neither of us wants to cook.
His words make me think of Ben tooling around the kitchen, humming some oldie mostly off-key as he created something delicious and gave me a mini-cooking lesson.
And, of course, I start to cry.
Thanks, hormones.
I swipe away a tear.
“Oh, um…” He glances at me awkwardly as he notices the tears. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I say. I sniffle. “Sorry. Fresh off a break-up and sometimes it just hits you out of the blue, you know?”
He bumps my shoulder with his, and then the elevator doors open. “Yep. Been there. Recently, in fact.”
“Oh?” I ask.
He nods. “It’s complicated, but in the end, she didn’t want the same things out of the future that I wanted.”
“I’m sorry.” I wonder how recently his happened. “Mine was complicated, too. And in the end…same.”
“It’s why I took this job, to be honest,” he says.
“Oh my God, me too!” I share with way too much enthusiasm. But it’s an easy thing to share in common.
“I needed to get the hell out of LA, away from her and the toxicity of that whole environment, and my agent dropped this opportunity into my lap. I kept telling him I wanted to make a difference with kids, and this felt like a good fit.”
“A strong fit,” I say as he unlocks our door.
“A kids fit,” he jokes, and together we just named the company we’re both now working for.
Still…even the damn word fit makes me think of Ben and Tight Fit.
“Pizza?” he asks, flopping down onto the couch and setting his feet up on the coffee table.
“Perfect,” I agree.
We chat about preferences, and we find common ground with supreme. He finds a place a few blocks away, and he places the order, touting it as the best pizza joint within a three-block radius. Also the only pizza joint within a three-block radius.
“Want to go for a walk to pick it up?” he asks, and I have to admit the fresh air sounds kind of nice.
We head downstairs and walk the short distance to the pizza place, pick up our dinner, and walk back home.
It’s a little over seventy degrees, which is lovely compared to the triple digits I left behind in Vegas, but the humidity is high here so close to the ocean.
Still, it’s a gorgeous night for a walk as the sun starts its decent.
We enjoy the best pizza in a three-block radius at the small kitchen table as we chat about our backgrounds.
Apparently he knows my brother Luke—they’ve crossed paths at a few different charity events before, and his publicity team is tight with Ellie.
That all makes sense given that we ended up working together at the same company.
I learn he has an older brother who doesn’t play baseball, and he’s originally from Illinois. He was raised in the country with an actual cornfield as his backyard, and he seems like a genuinely good guy.
Unless he’s just putting on an act…but somehow I don’t believe that.
Toward the end of the meal, he pulls a beer out of the fridge. “Want one?” he asks as he twists the cap.
I freeze.
I can’t just have a casual beer with a new friend.
And then, of course, I start to cry. Thanks again, hormones.
“Oh shit. I’m sorry.” He wrinkles his nose. “What did I say this time?”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt. It’s the first time I’ve said the words aloud. The first time the idea has been spoken around someone other than my ultrasound tech or my doctor.
The first time I’ve made the admission anywhere other than my own head.
His eyes widen as he closes the fridge. “You are?” He pauses, and then he asks a little more softly, “Is it the ex’s?”
“They do, in fact, belong to the ex.”
“They?”
“Twins,” I whisper.
“Jesus,” he mutters, sliding into the chair across from me. He holds up his beer and crinkles his brow as if to ask whether it’s okay if he drinks it, and I nod. He takes a pretty good chug of it then asks, “Are you okay? Did you tell the ex?”
I shake my head slowly. “You’re the first person I’ve told,” I admit. “Please don’t tell anyone. I don’t want Carla to know yet. I’m not ready to face my family with this news yet, and Ben made it clear he didn’t want kids. It’s so early that I’m still not even sure I want to tell him at all.”
“You have to tell him,” he says softly.
I know I do.
“It’s just…it’s complicated.” I don’t go into the fact that Ben is scared not just of having children, but of the whole gestational period where a woman grows those children.
I hardly know Cooper even though it feels like we’ve known each other forever, and Ben is a public figure.
I haven’t mentioned that the Ben I keep referring to is Ben Olson, but all it would take is a quick search of my name for him to put those pieces together.
He eyes me for a long moment, and then he says, “I have a good gut feeling about you, Kaylee Dalton. And I know you’ll do the right thing. Whatever that means to you.”
“Thanks,” I mumble, and then I swipe away the rest of the tears and dive back into my pizza, totally unconcerned about how I look scarfing down my half of an extra large supreme pizza.
He watches me with a twinkle in his eye and a little bit of a smirk on his face as he drinks his beer. I outeat him by two huge slices, and it’s then I realize that my nausea has started shifting over to voracious hunger.
I’ve got two babies growing in there, and obviously they’re starting to get hungry.
I get the feeling it won’t be long before I start showing.
Then I’ll have some explaining to do...