CHAPTER 36 BEN
All the color drains from my face.
I don’t know what I was expecting her to say, but it sure as fuck wasn’t that.
I was thinking something along the lines of oh wow, thanks for the scrapbook.
Not oh wow, I’m having your kid.
“You’re…”
“Pregnant,” she says again. “And, obviously, you’re the father,” she clarifies.
Jesus Christ.
I just came to the realization that I want to have kids with her. I thought it would be years and years down the road…not months. Not already in-progress.
But the when doesn’t matter. This is it. This is where I step up. This is where I stop being afraid…where I prove I can be the man she deserves. This is where I put action behind my words.
Only I can’t seem to form a thought, let alone words. “We, uh…” I pause and try again. “We’re having a…” The shock of her declaration is still preventing me from forming actual sentences.
“Baby,” she finishes, and something crosses her face. “Well, babies, actually. It’s twins.”
“T—t…twins?” I repeat. Holy fucknuggets. Twins. That’s two babies. Two. Babies. “Babies?”
I feel like I might pass out.
“When?” I ask.
“When what? When are they due? Or when did this happen?”
“Yes,” I say.
She giggles nervously. “Your face is like white right now. Are you okay?”
I stand up and realize that was a bad choice as all the blood rushes from my head. I sit back down and wait for the dizziness to pass. “I’m okay.”
“All that nausea I was having?” she says, lifting her voice in a question.
“It wasn’t the concussion. It was the babies.
You put these buns in this oven just after the concussion.
I missed my birth control pill and my head was so foggy I didn’t realize it.
I’m due February twenty-fourth, but everything I’ve read tells me twins will probably come earlier than that. ”
“February twenty-fourth,” I echo, and I’m still unable to figure out what the hell to say. “And they’re okay?”
She nods. “Totally healthy. Thirteen weeks now, which means we’re out of the first trimester danger zone.”
Holy…she’s an entire trimester into this and I’m just now finding out?
“Do twins run in your family?” she asks nervously. “They don’t run in mine.”
I nod as I try to reconcile everything she’s telling me. “Yeah, that checks. My dad—my dad’s a twin.”
“He is?”
I nod again. “He and my uncle Chevy.”
She looks surprised. “They are? They don’t look alike…and I thought you said Chevy was older.”
“They’re fraternal. And it’s the big family joke.
He’s like six minutes older.” I pause. I don’t know what to say next.
When it comes to twins, it’s sort of a myth that they’re hereditary—at least when it comes to the father’s side.
It doesn’t matter that twins run in my family.
The genetics are on the mother’s side. But none of that feels like the right direction to take this conversation.
We can discuss eggs and fertilization later. Or never.
Jesus, even my thoughts are a jumbled mess. How the hell am I supposed to participate in this conversation?
“I haven’t told anybody,” she says, filling the silence I’m creating. “Well, except for Cooper. I freaked out one day and dumped it on him.”
“You haven’t told your family?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I was afraid you’d find out, and the last thing I wanted was for you to come running back to me out of some obligation when it wasn’t what you wanted.
I knew I had to tell you, and I was going to do it soon.
I was just…I don’t know. I was scared, and I was waiting to find the right time.
Cooper kept pushing me to tell you, but I wasn’t ready. ”
My chest hurts at her words and my heart cracks a little that she felt like she couldn’t tell me…but this time, I know she’ll be there to help piece it back together, just as I know I won’t hurt her again.
Her words are what I need to find my coherence. I stand again, and I hold out a hand to her. She sets hers in mine, and it feels good. It feels right.
I wrap my arms around her. “I love you so fucking much, Kaylee Dalton.” I pull back and set my hand on her stomach.
I kneel down and press a kiss over her shirt.
“And I love you. Both of you. I promise to be the best dad.” I stand again.
“And I promise to be the best partner. The best man, the best co-parent, and, if you’ll have me, the best husband. ”
She curls her fingers into the hair on the back of my head, and she pulls me closer, her mouth inches from mine. “I know you will be,” she says simply, and then her lips collide with mine.
God, I missed her.
I pull back. “I’m so sorry,” I say, my tone one of begging as I pray she can forgive me. A wave of emotion plows into me, and I feel an unfamiliar heat prick behind my eyes.
This isn’t me…except it is. Correction: this wasn’t me. I’m a different man with Kaylee, a real man instead of a facade or a brand or a tough football player who can’t show anybody what I’m really thinking so they can’t predict my next move.
“I am, too,” she whispers, and it’s her turn to thumb away a tear from my cheek. “I’m sorry you missed the first thirteen weeks—”
“No,” I say fiercely. “I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry you had to do this alone.
You’ll never be alone again. Ever. I will always tell you first. When I panic, I’ll turn to you.
If anyone tries to come between us, I’ll turn to you.
I will always turn to you. I love you, and I’m here. Forever.”
She clutches onto me as she starts crying again, too.
“I love you, too,” she whispers. She presses her mouth to mine, and then she moves to lift my shirt over my head.
I rip it over my head, wincing a little at the sudden movement when my shoulder isn’t healed yet, and I toss it to the ground.
Her eyes move to my shoulder, and she fingers the bruise there.
It’s still fresh and dark, though it’s starting to fade a little.
“How does it feel?” she asks, her worried eyes moving to mine.
“Better now.” The truth is I haven’t really felt an ounce of the pain since I landed in California.
The worry eases. Her hands are immediately greedy on my abs, and I need those tits in my mouth pronto.
She pushes me down into the chair I was just sitting in, and then she straddles my lap.
She pushes her hips down over me, and I’ve got a steel fucking rod ready for entry just waiting for her.
She holds my face in her palms and presses kisses to my mouth before she moves down my body.
She flicks open the button on my jeans, and fuck if I’m letting her suck my cock when all I’ve dreamed of for the last month is being inside her again.
I move to pull her shirt over her head, and she stops me.
My brows dip.
“I, uh…I’ve gained a little weight,” she says, and she seems a little embarrassed by it.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Peaches. The moment I saw you today, I thought my memory had lied to me.
I didn’t remember you having the glow you have now.
I didn’t remember how beautiful you are.
Besides, you’re growing my babies in there,” I say, and while I still can’t quite believe that’s true, my next words are full of the kind of honesty I never expected upon finding myself in this situation.
“I can’t think of anything hotter than that. ”
Her eyes tear up again, but the words she chooses are raw and sexy. “Fuck me. Now.”
Once again, she leaves me speechless.
I reach down and pull her shirt off then unhook her bra. I suck a tit into my mouth while I work the button on her jeans, and she grabs onto my neck and gyrates over me like she hasn’t been fucked in nearly two months.
Neither have I.
I’m going to blow my load way too fast with the way she’s moving over me.
I move her off me only long enough to tug on her jeans, and she yanks them down her legs while I undo my button and pull the monster out.
She glances down at my lap before licking her lips and looking back up at me, and yeah, we’re definitely in broad daylight on her balcony about to fuck.
We’re on the top floor of one of the taller buildings in the area, so it’s not like anyone can really see us up here anyway, but even if someone could…
it’s not like we’d be able to stop this freight train.
She grins wickedly at me, and I pull her down onto my lap. I fist my cock and position it as she slides down onto me.
“Ohhh fuckkk,” I groan as I glide into her soaking wet pussy.
Her moans match mine as she uses her hot ass thigh muscles to move up and down over me.
She links her arms around my neck, and I lean down to suck her tit into my mouth again.
I roll my tongue around her tight nipple, and all these sensations mixed together are far better than I remember. She’s tighter. Wetter. More beautiful.
It feels like I’m home again after far too long away.