CHAPTER 4 DANNY
I throw my cards down with a touch more frustration than is completely necessary, but goddam, that woman has thrown me off my game—and I don’t just mean my card game.
When Cooper was all moody and annoying during spring training and I called him out on it, he asked me who my hall pass would be—the one woman I could sleep with and there would be zero consequences.
Guys like me don’t need hall passes…but women like her do since she’s clearly in a relationship. When I’d mentioned Alexis Bodega to him as the one, he’d mentioned he thought she was married. But he said there weren’t any consequences in his dumbass hall pass game, so I didn’t consider that.
She’s here with a guy today. Is that her husband? He seems to be a bodyguard, and she seems to be leaning away from his touch instead of into it.
Yeah, so I studied them. I admit it. I’ve got nothing to hide.
Except the raging boner that popped up the second my hand touched her soft skin.
Jesus.
I can’t deal with this shit right before our first game. I usually play cards before we take the field because it helps me direct my focus away from my nerves, but I have a whole new set of emotions rocketing through me after meeting my dream girl.
Yes…my dream girl. Have I jerked off to thoughts of her before? Yeah, so what.
But if she’s married, that dream becomes a nightmare.
I don’t fuck with married women.
And there’s a pretty damn good reason why.
My father cheated on my mother with her best friend when I was seven years old. I’m the one who discovered the affair. I’m the one who told my mom. I’m the one who ruined their marriage.
Fast forward twenty years, and I surprised my sister in California with a trip during the offseason a few months ago.
When I walked into the house with the key she gave me, I found her husband humping one of Anna’s friends on the couch where he sat watching fucking Disney movies with his wife and two kids the last time I’d visited.
I’m the one who told Anna that Chris was cheating on her. I’m the one who ruined their marriage.
So yeah…fucking with women who are married is off the table as far as I’m concerned, but so is marriage. Who wants to get married when it only ends in hurt and heartbreak? Fuck all that.
“Brewer, it’s up to you.” Rush sounds frustrated, and he has every right to be. My eyes are on Alexis Bodega instead of on my cards, and I’m not paying any attention even though I’ve got a rather large sum of money wrapped up in this game.
I force my eyes back to the hand in front of me, and I push some chips on the table. “Call.”
“I asked if you could open. Are you here with us?” Rush asks.
I pull my chips back and toss my cards on the table. “Nah. I’m out.” I stand and walk away, and I know Rush and Cooper are looking at me like I’m nuts, and maybe I am.
Maybe I’ve officially lost my mind.
And if I did lose it, I bet I can guess where it might be found.
I need to talk to her again. I need to perhaps not be an idiot this time—maybe say something witty, or find out if that’s her husband. Something.
I could tell her how much I love her voice.
I’m a triple threat in my field since I can run, field, and hit. But she’s a triple threat in hers, too—since she can sing, act, and dance. Are her songs on my pregame playlist? You bet your ass they are.
I could tell her how gorgeous she is.
She’s beautiful, for sure. But that’s not what struck me so hard about her.
Anyone can see the long, dark hair and the mysterious dark eyes and the golden skin and the perfectly shaped ass. Anyone can see the talent and the admirable hard work she puts in to be the very best at what she does.
But some chord deeper than that surface shit struck me when her eyes fell to mine, and I have to be honest. I don’t go deeper than surface shit.
Ever. I don’t care enough. I travel for the better part of nine months out of the year, and in the three months I get off, the last thing I want is to be on a leash.
I want to live my life the way I want to live it.
It’s selfish, sure. But it’s also honest, and it’s safer that way. I went through the heartbreak with my mom. I’m still going through the heartbreak with my sister.
I don’t need that for myself.
And yet…
If I had a chance with Alexis, would I take it?
I think I might.
She’s with that guy, though, and maybe that’s why I’m having those thoughts in the first place. There’s no risk there since she’s taken.
But even if she wasn’t…I think there’s just something different about her.
It could be the fact that everyone must think there’s something different about her, or maybe I’m right and there was a spark between us that we can’t ignore.
I don’t get a chance to find out.
Instead, she takes the stage, and I watch her from the dugout.
Vail takes the stage next, and she’s ushered off to some other room, but then it’s time for me to start warming up.
She takes the field again for the national anthem, and while I always feel a sense of emotion when I hear someone singing that song with their whole entire being, there’s something special about the way she does it.
It’s powerful and passionate.
My chest tightens as I watch her, and as the crowd erupts in cheers for her performance, I find myself wanting to follow her off the field into the clubhouse rather than taking first base.
This is ridiculous. So she’s hot. So there was a spark.
I’ve got a ballgame to play, and that’s where my focus needs to be.
And so, just like everything that has ever sparked any sort of emotion in me, I push it down and get to fucking work.