CHAPTER 26 DANNY
The days start to drag as the summer heat bears down on me.
This is my first full-on Vegas summer, and I’m not used to this type of dry heat going on and on and on, so I stay inside as much as possible.
On a Monday off after a tough weekend series where the Diamondbacks swept us in Arizona, Cooper invites me over to his place for dinner.
We haven’t seen as much of each other as I’d been expecting outside of games and practice since he ended up proposing to his girl during our first weekend series and she’s due in early September with their first kid.
I think he’s trying to fit in all the socializing he can before life changes completely with a new kid, which is why he’s choosing to spend the evening with me.
Cooper signed on with the Heat to be the face of the team and a leader among a team filled with leaders. He’s someone every single one of us looks up to both because he’s a stand-up kind of guy and a hell of a ballplayer.
Troy handpicked him to be on his team, and when Coop was in town to talk to Troy in person about it, he met a girl. They hooked up, he fell for her, and the rest was history.
Except he didn’t know at the time that the girl he fell for was Troy’s daughter.
I was with him every step of the way through his ups and downs, but eventually they found their way to where they are now—which is something along the lines of nauseating joy.
They’re having a kid. They’re getting married.
They really ended up with everything they both wanted, but it was touch and go there for a while.
I never thought I wanted those things. But the moment I met Alexis, it seems like something changed in me.
Cooper didn’t want those things, either. And then he met Gabby.
She’s twelve years his junior. They’re at completely different places in life, and yet…somehow, they make it work. It’s right for them.
On the flipside, Alexis and I are the same age. We’re at the same place in life—both with successful careers, both in the spotlight, both not quite sure what the future holds but feeling more and more every day like it’s a future we see the other one in.
I head over to Cooper’s place at six, and a very pregnant Gabby opens the door.
Everything I know about pregnancy I learned from my sister—which basically equates to not very much.
I know she was miserable during the last month.
I know she was nauseous during the entire nine months.
I know she was scared and nervous and excited all at once.
But she didn’t really get into the details with me when we talked, and I didn’t ask for them.
So when Gabby opens the door, I simply ask, “How have you been feeling?”
She laughs as she signals for me to come on in. “Huge but mostly pretty good all things considered. How are you doing?” She shuts the door behind me and leads the way to the kitchen, where we find Cooper grabbing beer out of the fridge.
He hands me a bottle and clinks his to mine. “The only time I don’t feel like a complete asshole drinking in front of her is when we have guests.”
“Aha, so the ulterior motive has been identified,” I say. “You invited me over so you could…have a beer?”
Both Cooper and Gabby laugh as she sips from her giant water bottle.
“Guilty,” Cooper says. “In truth, I invited you over to check on you.”
“To check on me?” I ask.
He glances at Gabby, who nods nearly imperceptibly. “Yeah. I was going to wait until dinner to bring this up, but Rush and AJ were talking the other day before you got to practice, and they’re…concerned.”
“They’re concerned? About what?” I ask.
“They said you’re not yourself lately. That you’re not trolling the clubs looking for pussy. They’re concerned something’s wrong.”
I glance at Gabby at his use of the word pussy, and she doesn’t flinch.
Clearly he’s spoken to her about this, and that makes me feel…
a little strange, to be honest. Like whatever I say here isn’t between Cooper and me, but it’s between Cooper and Gabby and me.
Which makes me not want to mention Alexis at all.
Cooper clears his throat. “They say it’s been going on since around the beginning of April.”
“What are you implying?” My voice is a little tired since I don’t want to play games. I don’t want to guess what he’s insinuating here. I just want him to come out with whatever it is he’s thinking.
He holds up both hands. “I’m not implying anything. It’s just…I know who you met back then, and if you need someone to talk to, or a shoulder to lean on, or whatever I can be without getting too soft here, say the word.”
“I’m good, man. Really.”
“Then what’s going on with you?” he presses.
I huff out a sigh. He’s not going to let me off easy, and the truth is…I sort of want to talk about her. I could use that shoulder he’s talking about. “I’ve been talking to somebody, okay?”
“I knew it!” he says triumphantly. “Would you like to expand on that?”
I glance at Gabby. “What’s said here stays here, correct?”
“That goes without saying,” Cooper assures me.
“Does it? Because you’re gossiping in here about what Rush and AJ said in the clubhouse, so it seems like I do need a guarantee that not a soul will find out about this,” I point out.
He holds up a hand. “You have my word.”
I look pointedly over at Gabby, who runs a hand along her stomach, and for just the strangest beat of a second, I see Alexis standing there.
It’s the cliché-est cliché in history, but she’s literally standing in her kitchen, barefoot and pregnant, and I suddenly see Alexis standing in my kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.
But the curve in her belly is because of the love we share, and the baby she’s carrying would be a manifestation of that love.
It’s a vision I never, ever expected to see. Ever. But today, it’s hitting me in a weird and unexpected place—right smack dab in the middle of the chest, and it knocks the wind out of me for a beat.
“Promise,” Gabby says, holding up a hand and breaking the spell I just went under for a second.
“It’s Alexis.”
“Holy shit,” Cooper murmurs as Gabby gasps.
I give them both a warning look, and they both hold their hands up again.
Apart from my mother and my sister, I don’t know if there’s anyone I trust more in the world than Cooper, and if he trusts Gabby, then I think I’m okay to be honest here.
“She’s not with her manager. It’s how her father has made it appear to the media.
” It feels like a weight off my chest as I say the words.
“But we’ve been texting one another the entire time she’s been on tour and…
” I shrug. “You once asked me who my hall pass would be, and my answer was immediate. And as it turns out, she’s every bit as incredible as I imagined she would be. ”
Gabby holds a hand to her heart and makes a face that says this is the sweetest thing she’s ever heard and she just might shed a tear.
Cooper claps me on the shoulder. “Wow, man. I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Wait a minute,” Gabby says, narrowing her eyes at Cooper. “Who did you say your hall pass would be?”
“I can answer that one,” I say. “This was on the bus as we were heading toward spring training. He asked me, I said Alexis, and I asked him. He said he didn’t need one because you were it for him.”
This time she actually does start to cry. “Captain! That’s so sweet!”
“Aw, Sunshine. It was always you. Even then.”
“I love you,” she says, and she walks over to press a kiss to his lips. Then she turns to look at me. “Now spill all the tea on Bodega.”
I laugh, but the truth is, I appreciate the dynamic between these two in a different way than I ever have before. They really ended up with it all, and just watching them in person makes me feel like maybe that’s something I want, too.
With Alexis.
When the first of September hits, I feel like we’re getting closer. We’re only two months away from the tour ending.
We’re only two months away from seeing each other again.
And with that comes a new fear.
What if I’m building this up to be something more than it is?
What if we both are?
What if she returns and it’s not like it was before? She’s changed her mind, or I have, or something is different.
It could happen, but I have this burning feeling that it won’t.
I’m done falling.
Over the last few months, I’ve fallen.
I’m there. I think I might’ve been there before we parted ways in April, but after the last few months of conversations and texts and inside jokes and sending each other bacon and donuts, I’m sure.
I haven’t even slept with her, and maybe that’s what makes this so different.
Or maybe it’s something else entirely…something I wasn’t looking for and I’m not sure I’m prepared to handle.
But time marches on whether I’m ready or not.