CHAPTER 13 ALEXIS
I grab the back of his head and pull him down toward me until our lips meet. He kisses me slowly. Luxuriously.
As if we have time—the one thing that has never been on our side.
Because tonight…we do.
It’s sensual, this kiss, and I’m sure it’ll lead to more again as he runs his hand along my torso and stops just short of my breast.
I didn’t want to tell him I’d only had one other partner before we did it. It felt like it would be too much pressure on both of us given how many partners he’s had—a number which I still don’t know.
But he wasn’t complaining and never told me he had to fight his way through the cobwebs down there.
Instead, everything about what just happened between us felt perfectly right and beautiful, and the fact that we have at least tonight and tomorrow night together means we’ll be able to explore more of what this is.
We’ll have the time in person to talk about the things we haven’t covered yet.
Like how many women he’s slept with.
He pulls back, and I finally find the nerve to ask.
“So you know my number. What’s yours?”
He freezes a beat. “Dude, I was just pulling back to make sure you’re okay. I was going to kiss you some more before we got into all that.”
I raise my brows. “Wow, that big of a number?”
He wrinkles his nose and shifts a little uncomfortably.
“Truth be told, I haven’t kept count.” He shrugs.
“Twenty-five-ish cities visited per season, a few nights in each town, plus home—over six seasons plus the offseason, equals…” He lifts a shoulder.
“More than two. But there’s only been one that meant anything. ”
I quirk an eyebrow. “Only one. Right.”
“I’m not kidding, Lex. I’ve gone on a six-month drought waiting for tonight. If you take anything else from tonight, I want you to have that knowledge. Just me and righty here.” He holds up a hand, and I can’t help a giggle.
“You really waited for me?”
His eyes soften as they land on mine. “I really waited for you. And you were worth the wait, Caroline Alexis Bodega.” He drops his lips to mine again, and my chest tightens as I think for the very first time…
this is it. This is my future. This may only be the second man I’ve ever slept with…
but he’s also the last man I will ever sleep with.
We break for a snack, so he runs to his room to grab shorts and a t-shirt.
We head down to the kitchen and find the cookies that were on the tray earlier.
He grabs a glass of milk, but the thought of a plain glass of milk nearly makes me gag, so I get some soda.
We head back up with our snack and sit on my bed, eating cookies and talking.
It’s somehow innocent after the not-so-innocent acts that happened here less than an hour ago—and that’ll take place again in a little while.
I’m sitting with my legs crossed, and he mimics me as we face each other.
“Best childhood memory?” I ask.
“It’s one of the few memories I really have before I caught my dad, but I remember the summer after I turned six, the four of us—my sister and my parents and me—went to Sea World.
We didn’t take a lot of vacations. My dad was always working, or at least that’s what he told us, so he didn’t get much time off.
Though when he chose the new family over us, they were always going on vacations. ”
“Is he still married to the woman he cheated with?” I ask.
He nods. “And I have no idea whether he steps out on her, too. Maybe she expected it since that’s how they got together. People don’t change.”
“Don’t they?” I ask.
His brows crinkle together.
“You just told me you waited six months for me.” I lift a shoulder. “Seems like a change for you.”
He twists his lips as he contemplates that. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right.”
“I’m not saying you should forgive him or even allow him back into your life, but I’m saying you seem to hold a lot of hurt over that time in your life, and maybe facing some of that would help you let it go.”
He studies me a long beat before he changes the subject. “What about you? Best childhood memory?”
I glance down at the bed for a beat before my eyes lift back to his, and I feel the heat of tears making them shine as I recall the memory.
“I was in kindergarten, and my parents came and picked me up early from school because they had a surprise for me. We drove out to this farm and I got to pick out a puppy. She was a little golden retriever puppy, and we named her Molly.”
He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “I bet you were the best friend Molly could have asked for.”
“She was my little bestie.” I smile at the memory.
“I’d tell her all about my adventures at school when I got home each day.
I’d put scrunchies on her ears and paws, and she’d just lay there and let me do it.
She was so mellow and sweet, and when my mom was going through a rough patch with her illness, I’d cry and hold onto that dog for dear life.
” The smile shifts to a frown as a tear spills over onto my cheek.
“When my mom passed, it was like Molly knew. She’d sleep beside me in my bed.
She’d nuzzle my chin. She was the best pup. ”
“What happened to her?” he asks carefully.
“I left for my first tour—an opening gig when I was nearly seventeen. She was twelve by then and slowing down, but she still had a lot of life left in her. She passed while I was on tour.”
“Oh, Lex. I’m so sorry.” His voice is raspy and emotional, and it causes me to cry.
The pain is still fresh even though I’ve lived without her longer than I lived with her at this point.
“You’ve dealt with a lot of loss,” he says quietly as he reaches forward to brush a tear from my cheek.
I press my lips together and nod.
“Something else we have in common, even though our situations are vastly different.”
I glance up as our eyes meet, and I spot the same pain I’m feeling reflected back at me. He didn’t lose a parent to death, but he did still lose a parent.
He didn’t lose a beloved pet, but he lost his innocence when he walked in on his dad.
These events redefined us at our core from very young ages.
Danny decided committed relationships just weren’t for him, so he spent his entire adult life hopping from meaningless connection to meaningless connection.
And as for me, well, I turned to my father.
We grew closer when we lost my mom because we were all the other had left.
My dad was estranged from his parents. My grandparents on my mom’s side passed when I was a teenager.
And now, I’m twenty-eight and still relying on him for far too much—and he’s still dictating my life far too much.
It’s time to make a change. For both of us.
It already started tonight when we had sex, and maybe all those months ago when we first met.
But if the events of my childhood redefined me at my core, tonight's events have altered me once again.
And this time, it’s right in line with the changes Daniel James Brewer is going through, too.