Teaser Chapter
Please keep in mind that this is an unedited teaser and is subject to change
Mara
The first thing I notice is the sweat. My sheets cling to me, damp from another nightmare. My stomach knots, my breath coming in shallow bursts.
It was just a dream.
I tell myself that every morning. I still don’t believe it.
Pushing the damp strands of hair off my forehead, I tie my hair up. Time to forget. Time to pretend. Today, I’m playing babysitter.
But as I sit up, the reminder of last night’s nightmare lingers. My pink sheets are still crumpled from tossing and turning, drenched in sweat from another night terror. It’s been a year since Valentina, my cousin Alessia, and I were taken by Helen.
Just the thought of her causes a sense of panic that want to rip from my throat.
I tell myself I’m fine. That it’s just another morning. But when I glance in the mirror, the girl staring back at me has shadows under her eyes and bruises only she can see. My hands shake, and I choke back the urge to retch in my own room.
This is not the time for a panic attack. But you can never stop them when they do come on.
I try the technique the shrink taught me. Three seconds in and three seconds out.
It only works for a couple of seconds, but the feeling of a rock lodged in my throat doesn’t leave.
Pulling down on my strawberry tank top, I open my bedroom door and move into the hallway, my feet padding against the cool marble floors. Two guards stand at the end of the hallway, their faces cold and unwavering. I pass by them and head down the winding staircase.
Ma’s in the kitchen; I can hear her humming a song in there and the smell of waffles make my mouth water.
“Morning, Ma,” I say as I walk into the kitchen.
She’s by the brass-colored stove, stirring what looks to be cranberry sauce. “Morning, bella. There’s waffles with cream and strawberries on the kitchen island for you.”
I press a kiss to her cheek.
“Thank you, but you didn’t have to.” I tell her, sliding onto one of the steel barstools.
The strawberries are cut into hearts, and it makes me smile.
Ma has always made us cute little fruit cutouts.
Back when I was seven, she managed to cut out little zoo animals out of fruits and vegetables just to convince us to eat them.
Matteo wasn’t amused, but he always ate the food in front of him.
But Ma wasn’t trying to get him to eat the fruit. It was Lucio and I who were the real pains.
She wipes her hand over the apron she’s wearing and says, “I know I didn’t have to, but no matter what, you’ll always be my little baby. Besides I have Yolanda help me in the kitchen most of the day, so it wouldn’t hurt me to make something for you to see you smile.”
Our housekeeper is an angel for dealing with all our shit.
I swallow a bite of the waffle as the guilt washes over me. I’ve tried to hide the anxiety that’s been eating at me. But I can’t hide the night terrors that I’ve been having, especially not when I wake up screaming and sweating like I’ve ran a marathon.
“Right,” I say, my tone clipped. “Well, I’m going out today, I’m going to go shopping before heading over to Valentina and Emiliano’s apartment.”
Ma eyes me as if she’s about to say something, but she shakes her head. “Babysitting Bianca?”
I nod. “Yeah. Eli has a surprise for Valentina, and he wants to make sure Bee is in safe hands.”
“Want me to come with you?”
“Do you want to?” I ask.
Since Pop’s death three years ago, Ma has been lonely. She might not show it, but I see the way her eyes are puffy sometimes. She misses him. We all miss him.
“I’ll make snacks.” she offers, beaming at me, and I shake my head at the way her face lights up.
Ma’s enthusiasm always brightens my day. She always finds the silver lining in everything.
After breakfast, I head back to my room to get changed.
Putting my hair up in a slick ponytail, I adjust the pink bowtie that holds it together.
I step back and take in my outfit: black tights, 1995 Medusa Versace black minidress, and a gold handbag.
Some would say it’s too much, I say you only live once and this is New York.
There are crazier things out there than wearing a designer dress and going out at ten.
Once I step outside I notice two new faces within my security detail. Strange.
“Where’s Dima and Nino?” I ask my head of security, Leo.
Leo’s eyes meet my gaze, unnerving and cold. “They were pulled off duty today, miss.”
“By who?” I ask, frowning.
“The boss.”
I pause. Emiliano never randomly changes my security detail. Strange, indeed. I guess I can ask him later today.
I slide into the limo, barely acknowledging the two new guards standing outside. But something makes me pause. One of them—the taller one with a buzz cut—hesitates before shutting the door. Just for a second.
His eyes flicker to Leo, who gives him a sharp look. The door closes a beat too late.
Weird. But I have better things to worry about.
My phone rings as I settle into my seat, causing me to brush off the strange behavior.
“What’s up, Matteo? You don’t ever call.”
His voice, bored and low, comes over the speaker. “Ma said you’re babysitting Bee.”
It’s not a question, but a statement.
“Yes that’s right.”
“Stay close to home today. Don’t go anywhere unless it’s to Eli and Val’s place,” he says, tone clipped.
“I have plans, Matteo. Why?”
Matteo pauses a beat, as if hesitating. Strange. He’s not the type.
“Just don’t do anything stupid. I’ll be coming over when you go to babysit Bee,” he finally says.
How cute. My brother wants to hang out, but doesn’t know how to ask.
I bite back the urge to laugh and say, “You could’ve just told me you wanted to hang out.”
“I don’t want to hang out. There’s something I want to discuss with you,” he gruffly says over the phone.
I snort. “Right, okay.”
I don’t believe him for one bit, but I also don’t call him out on it because the second I do, he’ll retreat into his own head. Matteo has always been so different from me and my other two brothers. They’re all cold and ruthless, but it’s as if Matteo is detached from his feelings completely.
“I’ll see you at Eli and Val’s.” He mutters a goodbye before the line cuts off.
The drive to the mall is uneventful. It has been raining nonstop for the entire week and the ground is still slick from it.
Being the only daughter in my family comes with its prerogative, but it also comes with expectations to remain a certain way. Security guards watching your every step, galas and balls you have to attend, picking your friends carefully.
Some people would think I hate my life, but on the contrary, I’m indifferent to it. Which probably makes it worse. You get used to the beauty and marvel of it all, but you never get used to the vultures that lurk in the form of fellow humans.
It’s scary how greed can turn something so beautiful into something grotesque. Which is one of the many reasons I don’t have friends.
The car slows as we approach the underground parking garage. My car door opens before I even reach for the handle, and I can see at least three bodyguards in my line of vision. I know there are more, but they’re probably hidden. They surround me as I step into the elevator.
I hate people in my personal space, especially men.
But no matter how many times I’ve argued with Emiliano about having less guards, he always has to remind me how he and Valentina ended up together.
He’s so paranoid that the Outfit will try to kidnap me in retaliation for stealing their daughter and ruining the marriage they set up for her.
I wish I had more say when it comes to my security detail, but powerful men are assholes, no matter what they make you think. The elevator doors slide open, and three guards step out before me. It’s loud, especially since it’s a Saturday, but that won’t stop me from doing some damage with my card.
The first stop is Sephora. Stocking up on makeup is my favorite. Next up is the designer I’m wearing, Versace. I know today’s shopping spree is going to piss my brother off big time, but that’s the goal. And I’m a high achiever.
But then it happens again. That feeling. Just as I’m stepping out of the Versace store, balancing my bags as my bodyguards close in around me, my heel clicks against the polished marble floor, echoing louder than it should.
That feeling.
A shiver slithers down my spine, cold and sharp.
Eyes. On me.
My pulse falters. My skin tightens with awareness. My grip on my handbag turns white-knuckled.
I turn, scanning the crowd. Nothing. Just people moving, shopping, lost in their own lives. I swallow, forcing my shoulders to relax.
You’re being ridiculous.
“Is something wrong, Miss Mara?” one of the guards asks.
I turn to look at him, shaking my head and muttering, “No.”
But still, I tighten my grip on my handbag and pick up my pace, hoping to be done quickly.
By the time I’m done, three bodyguards had to go back to the car because no one else could carry any more of my bags.
I know I spent close to half a million in total.
I almost laugh when I see one of my bodyguards rub the side of his neck.
Tonight is going to be a mini-shitshow because Eli will not only lecture me on “responsible spending,” but he’ll also try to cancel my cards.
Good thing Ma will be there to shut that shit down.
I have the guards place most of my bags in the trunk, but the rest stay in the front beside me, I barely squeeze in because of the amount of bags—Louis, Versace, Chanel, and Vera Wang, to name a few.
Shopping is the best, especially when you’re depressed. I used to not be able to leave the house, so retail therapy had to be online instead of in person.