Chapter Thirty-Four
Freya and Owen gave me sponge baths while I lay in bed, but my first real bath was heaven.
Owen carried me to a small adjoining bathroom.
I could have walked, but I liked Owen looking after me, and I craved his touch.
His hands were patient and gentle as he helped me remove my clothes, and then I stood naked beside him, holding his arm.
He tested the water once more before lowering me into the tub.
I closed my eyes in bliss while I let the warm water soothe my muscles.
Leaning back, I trusted Owen to ensure I didn’t slip under the water.
He was right there, squeezing body wash onto a loofa that he ran over my shoulders and collarbone.
I studied my arms and hands. The black roots were no longer visible, but the dark spot over my heart remained.
Fitting. I had killed Todd. I’d done it to save Owen, true, but I had still taken a life.
For the past week, I had mostly slept while I focused on regaining my strength.
But more and more I found myself reliving the events of that horrific night.
Images rushed into me now—blood on tiny stones of gravel, devastating pain throughout my body, the absolute terror that I would lose Owen.
My eyes followed the movements of his hands, tracing the corded muscles in his arms, then paused on his face.
Concern was etched into every line, from the furrow of his brow to the tight set of his mouth.
He scanned me as if searching for hidden injuries, his gaze lingering on each bruise.
Finally, his hand settled against my jaw, warm but unsteady, his thumb brushing gently over my skin.
“I would do it again. To save you. I would kill Todd again. I just wish I hadn’t needed to.” My voice broke.
Owen wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pressed his lips to my forehead. Water sloshed over the edge of the bath as I sobbed into his chest.
“Todd knew.” I squeezed my eyes shut against the painful truth, but I needed to say it out loud to Owen.
“Todd knew what was happening, but Aed and I controlled his body. It was wrong. Horrific. No one should be able to control another person, and I…” I swallowed hard.
“Todd begged me not to kill him. I made it quick, but I’m Craos’s descendant and perhaps I’m nothing more than the spawn of a demon and a horrible person and oh God… ”
Heaving sobs racked my body. I could barely catch my breath as I cried and then screamed, letting out all the terror and rage I had felt that night while Owen held me and listened.
Eventually the tears subsided, and I began hiccupping into his wet shirt. He smoothed the hair back from my face.
“Look at me, Kira, because I’m looking at you.
” He cupped my chin and turned my face toward him so that I was forced to meet his eyes.
“I see the bravest, kindest, most compassionate person I’ve ever met.
I don’t care whose blood you carry. I don’t care what happened that night by the river.
Love, sometimes in war, we do terrible things for all the right reasons.
I’m so grateful I had you protecting me that night so that I can be here now, protecting you. ”
He smiled, his eyes full of unshed tears as he traced my lips with his thumb. He leaned in to place a gentle kiss on my lips, lingering only a moment before pulling back to gaze at me. There was nothing but love in his eyes. No doubts or disappointment. No accusation.
“Taking a life is never easy. At least, it shouldn’t be. You wouldn’t be the woman I love if you didn’t feel horrible for doing so. But you’re also a fierce warrior who takes action when needed, and I’m proud to call you mine.”
I still felt guilty, but I was no longer carrying the burden on my own. “I knew you’d make it better,” I whispered, wiping away more tears. “And now for the next issue I’ve been thinking about.”
“You’re supposed to be resting and healing, love.” Owen gave me a stern look. “Not thinking about problems and trying to solve them.”
“I know, but I can’t help it. I closed the portal, but it’s still there.
Craos is still there. And I’m his anchor.
It feels like we’re exactly where we were before the gala.
Except now we don’t even have the seal. I chose you—us—over the world.
I was selfish. But what if the only way to defeat Craos is for me to…
” My voice trailed off at the look on Owen’s face.
“Don’t you ever think or say that again. Do you hear me, Kira?” My eyes widened at the ferocity in his voice. “Don’t ever say that your death is the solution to all of this. I lost you once already, and it was…” He was shouting now, his eyes panicked. “I never want to go through that again.”
I quickly reached up to hug him, and he crushed me to him, his body shuddering.
“I’m here, Owen. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.
” I placed his hand on my chest, letting him feel the rhythm of my heart, as he had done for me the night the portal first opened and Charles disappeared.
Everyone had focused on my recovery because I was the most obvious patient.
But Owen had gone through hell that night, and he needed to heal as well.
I held him for a long time. When he finally pulled back, his face was set with determination.
“First of all, Aed could still be alive, and she is also an anchor for Craos. Second, you did die, and Craos wasn’t defeated. We are going to figure this out together. Whatever solution we come up with, your death will not be it. Understand?”
I nodded, crying tears of relief and happiness. He searched my face and seemed satisfied at last with what he saw.
“Let’s get your hair washed,” he said. “Then we can get you back to bed where you can rest.”
I smiled at the gruffness in his voice. “I love you, Owen.”
“I love you too, woman,” he grumbled, squeezing shampoo onto my head, “but Goddamn, don’t you ever scare me like that again.”
The next five minutes were spent trying to rinse my hair, but the bath water was too soapy and had become more tepid than warm.
Cursing, Owen finally pulled the plug and lifted me from the tub like I weighed nothing.
He set me down as he turned on the shower and tested the temperature of the water, then surprised me by stepping in after me, fully clothed.
Owen was all business as he kept me close and rinsed the soap off. I could have rinsed my own hair, but I suspected that this was part of his own healing. Caring for me was a way to mend the cracks in himself.
But the sight of his wet clothes plastered to his hard body, outlining his muscles, caused my stomach to flutter for the first time since I had woken. A woman would have to be dead to not notice Owen.
And I was very much alive.
“Owen,” I whispered, sliding my arms around his neck. “Come here.”
He glanced at me and then his eyes darkened with pent-up desire when he saw the heat in mine. He wanted me as much as I wanted him.
I moved closer to him, pressing my breasts against his wet chest.
“Kira, you’re not strong enough,” he groaned, but his arms still slid around my waist, his calloused hands rough against my smooth skin.
He captured my lips in a gentle kiss, but I didn’t want him treating me like I might break.
I wanted him wild and passionate and demanding.
Now. I’d never felt so alive. Because of him.
I grabbed his shoulders and kissed him with all the love and desire I felt.
He moaned into my mouth and then deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth over mine like he couldn’t get enough, like he had been slowly dying without touching me the way he wanted.
His hands slid down my back and he cupped my ass, pressing me to his hard arousal.
I rubbed against it, kissing him back just as fiercely.
We were both frenzied now. He swept his tongue into my mouth, sucking and stroking, holding my head so he could ravage me. White-hot need pooled between my legs, and I was slick with desire. I wanted more of him. I needed to be closer. I tried to wrap my leg around him, but I was still too weak.
“Kira,” Owen gasped as he broke from the kiss. He buried his head in my neck as he breathed heavily. “We shouldn’t. You need rest.”
“Fuck rest.” I couldn’t stop running my hands over his arms and chest while I kissed his neck and jaw.
I started pulling at the buttons on his shirt.
“I slept for a week.” I nuzzled his neck and nipped his ear.
Just a little. Just so he knew how serious I was.
“I need you, Owen. I died. And now…now I want to live.”
He shuddered against me and pulled back to stare into my eyes. “I don’t know if I can be gentle. I want you too much.”
“You won’t hurt me,” I assured him, pushing his shirt open so I could trace his nipples with my tongue.
He groaned and I knew I almost had him. “I’m getting stronger every day, and I think you need this, too.
” I ran my hands through his hair and across his back, pressing my breasts against his warm skin.
“Please, Owen. Help me feel alive again.”
“Fuck,” he said, kissing me again with a ferocity I’d never felt in him. My back hit the cold tiles of the shower wall.
“Shit, Kira, tell me you’re okay,” he rasped, but he didn’t stop touching me, and I could only nod and kiss him harder.
We were both desperate, fevered. Every heartbeat, every gasp, every sound was louder than it had ever been, and my world shrank to skin and breath and pulse.
There was only the raw, trembling need to feel, to prove to both of us that I was still alive.
Owen turned his attention to my breasts, and I leaned against the tiles, letting him worship me.
Taking a nipple into his mouth, he lathed his tongue against the velvety softness, and I jolted off the wall as a lightning bolt of pleasure shot straight to my core.
I ran my hands through his wet hair and moaned as I urged him lower.
He moved to my other breast, palming it and bringing the nipple into his mouth, before kissing a path down my stomach.
I whimpered as he dropped to his knees and raised one of my legs over his shoulder.
His thumb circled the bundle of nerves between my thighs, and I pressed insistently against him.
I almost came from that touch alone. The sight of his broad shoulders between my thighs, his wet clothes plastered to his hard body, took my breath away.
I could feel the heat of his mouth against me as he looked up at me, a silent question in his dark and hooded gaze. We hadn’t done this yet.
“Yes,” I rasped.
The first swipe of his tongue against my core had my entire body shaking while I held his head against me. He sucked my clit into his mouth, impatient and relentless, while his hands gripped my ass so he could angle me better.
“Owen,” I moaned, rocking against him.
“Fuck.” Owen’s voice was guttural. “I love hearing you say my name.”
He settled in to feast, his tongue gliding along my folds, dipping into my heat, stroking back and forth across my clit.
When he pushed two fingers into me, I came hard, splintering into a million pieces and crying out as all the tension within me released.
Owen held me through it, humming against me and murmuring words of praise.
When he finally stood up, he was breathing heavily.
I reached for him, but he was already undoing his zipper and freeing his cock. I wrapped my hands around the hard length, pumping him and smearing the precum on my fingers.
Owen’s gaze was feral. “Fuck,” he groaned, rocking his hips into me.
“I want you inside me,” I whispered, but he shook his head.
“It’s killing me to say this, love, but not now. I might hurt you.”
“We had plans…after the gala…and we didn’t get that room.” I couldn’t hide my disappointment.
“I know, and trust me, I haven’t forgotten.” He smiled, but it was strained. “It’s pretty much all I think about, besides how to help you heal faster.”
He was right. I didn’t have the strength right now to do everything we wanted to do. Even this had exhausted me.
“Let me help you, then,” I whispered, still pumping him. I kissed his chest, running my tongue along his skin, and he braced his hands against the wall on either side of my head, his forehead dropping to mine.
“That’s perfect, love,” he gasped, his hips moving faster. “Won’t take long with you standing there, all naked and wet…” He buried his head in my neck and shouted as his release took him.
We held each other for a long time under the warm water, letting it wash away the terror, anger, and guilt of that awful night. We held each other until the water turned cold.
After, Owen wrapped me in a towel, removed his wet clothing, and carried me to bed. He covered us both with a blanket, then pulled me tightly against him, whispering words of love. Our touches were tender, our heartbeats slowed, and the silence that fell between us at last was one of peace.