Chapter 47
CHAPTER 47
MICHAEL
It was nearly 8:00 p.m. when I made it to Orion.
Azara was nearing the end of her shift, according to the screenshot of her schedule Kaz had sent me every month since she started working here. If it hadn’t been for his help over the past three months, I’d never have been able to pull this off.
Despite the devastation I’d felt at her leaving Amanar, discovering she’d be working here had been the first moment of relief I’d felt since all of my veiled lies were uncovered.
I’d reached out to Kaz immediately and although he was initially reluctant to essentially spy on her, he became more than eager to help when he saw the desperation on my face and of course, when I offered him the only volume of Osama Tezuka’s Black Jack he was missing.
Being an Atlas often came with its perks.
The cool evening air brushed against my skin as I walked down the pathway to Orion’s entrance, and I immediately regretted not wearing a long sleeve. Not wanting to be late, I’d come straight here from work, so I hadn’t had time to change from the navy T-shirt and black trousers I’d worn all day.
I pulled today’s letter out of my pocket before sitting on what had become my wooden bench. I ran a hand over my face, the whispers of my exhaustion creeping in. I leaned back and closed my eyes for a moment. I hadn’t had much sleep over the past few months—not since I’d left her apartment the morning she’d learned the truth. Throw in my new job and the regular visits here, and sleep had become a rare luxury.
Not that I cared.
I’d spend an eternity awake if it meant I had the chance to be with her again. That was what kept me going every single day.
That she’d give us a chance.
Because I didn’t want to imagine a world without her in it.
I didn’t know how long I’d been sitting there, head tilted back, eyes closed, when I felt someone sit beside me. I opened my eyes, ready to tell them to leave before Azara came out, but the words died on my lips when my gaze met the prettiest shade of brown I had ever seen.
Azara.
I blinked, wondering if I had fallen asleep and was dreaming. She never really acknowledged me when I handed her the letters, let alone sat next to me.
“Hi.”
My next breath fled my lungs.
I was almost afraid to speak. Afraid that if I did, the illusion of her so close to me, of her beautiful face gazing at me with an expression I hadn’t seen in far too long, would vanish.
She looked nervous, but she was also smiling.
At me.
She’s really here.
My Azara was sitting next to me.
“Hi,” I finally said back, my voice barely a whisper.
Hope bled inside my chest, but I immediately scolded it to stay away. I’d waited for this moment so many times, and I didn’t want my desire for it to overshadow whatever was about to happen.
Because what if she was here to tell me to stop?
I’d told her I’d fight for her every day, but what if it wasn’t enough? What if I’d hurt her so deeply she couldn’t see past it?
I didn’t want to give up, to give her up, but if she told me there was no coming back, I’d have to.
Even if I’d never be the same after.
It was killing me not to touch her, not to tell her how much I missed her, but I was letting her take control of whatever this conversation was meant to be.
She shook her head. “I should have come up with a plan,” she said with a soft, nervous laugh. “Or even rehearsed what I was going to say. But I didn’t know what I was going to do until I saw you sitting here. Like you always do.”
“I promised you I would be,” I said, my voice thick. “I’ll always be here, Azara.”
“I know.”
There was a brief pause then, one where we both looked at each other, apprehension filling the space between us as I waited for her next move.
“My dad came to see me yesterday,” she said, and a sudden wave of anxiety surged inside my chest.
“What did he say?” I asked cautiously.
“He told me everything.”
My heart pounded against my ribs, unsure of what that meant. Did he tell her about what he’d done, why he’d done it? Or did he tell her that I’d gone to see him? That I’d taken care of Nyx, and he’d never be a threat to her family or anyone from his prison cell?
Her smile faded a little, and I braced myself for the worst.
“I was really overwhelmed with his confessions, and it’s going to take me some time to wrap my head around what my father did. But before he left, he said something that I couldn’t stop thinking about. It made me reflect on what happened. On what you did. And what it means for us.”
Us.
It was the first time she referred to me and her as a union, but would it mean the beginning of it or the end? My breaths grew shallow, and the fear of losing her—one that had been in the back of my mind—resurfaced. The air around us felt heavier, and just when the silence stretched to its breaking point, she spoke again.
“I read your letters.” Her voice soft, her gaze burning into mine.
I’d considered many ways to win her back, but I quickly discarded all of them when I realized that she wouldn’t care for fancy gifts and flowers. She would have probably donated the former and thrown away the latter.
So, I’d gone back and forth for days coming up with new things, but her last words to me had replayed over and over again until it had dawned on me.
I’d been hesitant at first because I’d never written anything to anyone before, but the moment I picked up a pen, the words had poured out of me.
They were also the only way I could talk to her these days, and writing them had almost become therapeutic.
The letters covered everything from my life growing up and my favorite graphic novels to how terrified I was of pigeons. And of course, many were filled with how I felt about her. How she made me feel like the most important person on the planet and that being with her was the first time I’d felt seen.
She already knew me better than anyone, but I wanted to show her that I didn’t want to have any secrets between us. I wanted her to trust my word, to believe that I’d always stand by her side consistently, no matter what.
“I meant every word,” I said quietly, my voice barely audible.
I didn't know if she'd ever read them. I thought she’d probably thrown them away or even burned them. But I kept writing them, holding on to the hope that, maybe one day, she might.
“I know,” she said again, but this time, she cupped my face with one hand.
A small shudder of relief wracked through my body as I leaned into her touch, overwhelmed by the sudden feel of her soft skin against my stubble. It slowly started to ease this indescribable ache that had taken a permanent root inside my chest the moment I lost her.
Her thumb brushed across my cheek, and I exhaled a stammering breath. “I don’t agree with what you did, and we have a lot to talk about, but there’s something more important I need to tell you.”
I held my breath as I waited for her next words.
“I love you.”
I froze, disbelieving for a moment. “Yeah?” I asked, when the words finally registered, every fiber of my being desperately hoping that I’d heard her right, and that she wouldn’t take them back.
She framed my face with both hands, and brought it closer to hers, her eyes flicking between mine. “Yeah,” she said, her voice steady. “I’ve loved you for a long time. Even when I didn’t want to.”
A smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I curled a hand around the back of her neck, bringing our foreheads together. I took a deep breath, and it felt like the first real one in a very long time.
“Say it one more time.”
“I love you,” she breathed, her smile warm and bright.
My heart soared as I pressed my lips to hers. The kiss was gentle, almost tentative, but it still left us both breathless when we pulled away. I could kiss her forever, and I intended to—for the rest of my life.
I wrapped an arm around her waist, drawing her closer, still in disbelief that the woman I loved was back in my arms.
Azara looped an arm around my neck, brushing my hair back a few times. “I missed your hair.”
“Wow,” I said, placing a hand above my heart. “After all this time, and you only missed my hair?”
“I guess I missed you,” she shrugged, but the bashful smile spreading across her lips betrayed her.
Laughter rumbled in my chest, the bright feeling shooting through me like a burst of sunlight. “God, I missed you so fucking much,” I said, pressing another soft kiss to her lips.
I finally had everything I’d ever wanted right in front of me and I never wanted to let go.