Chapter 22 #2
He draws another deep breath, and his chest expands behind me. “I had two siblings. Both sisters. One of them still lives.”
“Really?” Happiness bubbles inside me. “I have a sister by marriage! I’ve always wanted a sister.” I turn slightly in his arms. “Can I meet her?”
“You have.”
I look at him quizzically but quickly realize what he’s saying. “Surath is your sister?”
He smiles, clearly pleased at my reaction and that he didn’t need to actually say it.
I nestle my head against his chest again. I don’t understand why he and Surath hid this from me, but that’s not my most pressing question. “What of your other sister? And your parents?”
He draws another deep breath, and it shifts me along with it. “My parents were killed the day of the wyvern attack. It was an ambush. An assassination.” His voice deepens to a near growl, and it rumbles against me.
“An assassination?”
“Yes. Had she lived, my mother would have been our next queen.”
“I’m so sorry.” I lightly touch his thigh next to mine, marveling at its size and the power housed there. “I suppose that answers another question. I was wondering how you became king.”
“Oh, that answer, my queen, is far more complicated.”
My fingertips explore the hard ridge of muscle above his knee. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of exploring the miracle of my strong mate’s body—every part of it. “Why is it complicated? Wouldn’t you have been next in line after your mother?”
“No,” he says softly. “In our custom, the crown passes first to the females. After my mother, the next in line was my sister.”
My back stiffens. “Surath?”
“Tysanthia,” he says with deep sadness in his voice. “Surath was in line after her.”
“Oh.” I try to mask my sharp intake of air, as I absorb this information.
This does explain a few things about the dynamics between Zogar and Surath.
But if Surath was ahead of Zogar in the line of succession, why is he on the throne and not her?
I decide to leave that obvious question on the table for the moment.
“So, Surath is older than you?” I take a less direct route to the question.
“No, Surath is younger. Much younger. As was Tysanthia.”
“I see.” But I don’t see at all. I want to hear more about how he stepped ahead of Surath to take the crown, but I’m still processing all this new information. And that task is made even more difficult because there are so many other things I don’t know.
“Can you tell me more about your parents? If it’s not too painful? And about Tysanthia? Was she also killed during the wyvern attack?”
His leg slides against mine. “No. Mother hid the girls well. The wyvern never found them.”
“That’s a relief.” Taking a chance, I twist in his hold, leaning back against one of his strong arms and draping my legs over his thigh to sit across him. This way I can see his face.
But his gaze remains averted, his eyes partially closed. “How is that a relief?” he asks, his voice tight.
“I don’t mean to be insensitive. I only meant that it’s a relief that your sisters were hidden, and that you didn’t drown.” I slide my hand around his neck. “What happened that day?”
He still doesn’t open his eyes, but his face fills with anger. “The wyvern bastards pushed me into the pond. They held me down, but not for long. They assumed I’d sink, and I did. Straight to the pond’s muddy bottom in seconds.”
“You must have been terrified.”
He nods. “But I saw some long reeds, and somehow, I crawled through the muck, until I reached those reeds. They kept bending, but I gathered enough together to use the long plants to pull my head back up to the surface.”
“How resourceful, especially at such a young age.” I touch his cheek. “And how very brave.”
He shakes his head. “I wasn’t brave. I was a coward and hid in those reeds for hours. When I finally climbed out, both my parents were slain.”
“You couldn’t have saved them.”
His jaw shifts and his eyes remain closed. “When I found my sisters, Surath was crying in Tysanthia’s arms.” His voice turns quiet. “They were so tiny. Tysanthia four and Surath only two.”
“Oh, Zogar. How terrible for you, and for them.”
A tremor shudders through Zogar, as if he’s reliving the moment.
“Who took care of the three of you, after that?”
His eyes open, and his expression steels. “I took care of my sisters.” His gaze stays ahead. “I protected them until they were fully grown.”
“Why didn’t…” I’m not sure how to ask this. “Didn’t you say that the queen was your grandmother?”
“No, the queen was my aunt.” His eyes narrow.
“She never had children and deeply resented my mother’s happiness.
They never got along, and the queen had other plans for succession.
My sisters were a threat to her plans, and she didn’t raise a finger to protect or help raise her rightful heirs.
” His jaw shifts. “I could never prove it, but I believe it was she who sent the wyvern to assassinate our family.”
“That’s horrible.” My heart feels like it’s been ripped open, and I can only imagine how much worse Zogar’s heart feels. I press myself against his chest, hoping to share some of his pain.
“I took my baby sisters far away from my aunt’s seat of power,” he continues. “I hid them. Taught them myself. Protected them so that one day Tysanthia could return to claim her throne.”
“That was brave, and so noble.” And it explains why he feels such a deep sense of responsibility for others, as if the weight of the entire world sits on his shoulders.
“It was neither brave nor noble.” His body shifts under mine. “Protecting my sisters was my duty. I did only what was required. And I failed.”
I cup his jaw. “You didn’t fail. You did so much for your sisters, and at such a young age.” He said he only had four and ten years when their parents died.
His eyes fill with sadness. “Girls need their mother, and I was a poor substitute. Tysanthia never recovered from losing our parents. She grew weak and sickly. And she suffered terrors that kept her from sleep.” He shakes his head.
“When Tysanthia had but five and ten, she took her own life. She returned to our family home and drowned herself in the very pond where the wyvern tried to kill me.”
I gasp. “That must have been so painful for you.” I mentally calculate his age, at that time. Based on what he said earlier, he would have been about five and twenty, not much older than Tynan and I am now.
“It was a very long time ago.” His fingers lightly trail over my arm. “Over the centuries I was trapped in dragon form, my body may not have aged, but the years still passed. I’ve come to accept that Tysanthia was never meant to be queen.”
Cupping my chin, he smiles. “Tysanthia wasn’t strong. Not like you.” He brushes some hairs behind my ear. “You grew up without a mother, and yet you became strong, worthy of becoming a queen.”
My chest swells as I absorb his words, but even if I accept his compliment, I couldn’t begin to have the strength of a dragon. And while I may have the title, I am not a real dragon queen. I want to ask why Surath’s not the queen, but I’m also not sure I want to hear the answer.
Zogar is driven by doing what’s right, and yet somehow he claimed his sister’s crown. “And Surath?” I ask softly, with no accusation.
“After Tysanthia’s death, Surath grew rebellious.
” His expression turns sad again. “I did my best to keep her safe, to keep her hidden from our aunt. To prepare her to be queen. But she acted out. She blamed me for Tysanthia’s death.
” He shakes his head. “Whatever I asked of her, Surath did the opposite.”
“That sounds like Surath.”
A slight grin catches the edge of his lips.
“On the day Surath turned six and ten, she ran off with Xendus, and they married.” His eyes narrow.
“She was far too young for marriage. Plus, she was meant to be queen! She wasn’t free to marry just any man.
There were factors beyond attraction to consider. ” He growls, deep in his chest.
“She was young,” he continues. “She was grieving, but Xendus knew better, and I wanted to kill him. He knew the consequences of his actions. He knew their marriage damaged her chance of ever becoming our sovereign.”
“Why?”
Shifting me in his arms, he looks directly into my eyes for the first time since he nearly drowned. “Do you remember the day we wed?”
I nod and heat flames in my belly. “How could I forget?”
“The marriage between a future dragon queen and her mate is sacred, just as our marriage was.”
I nod, wishing I could better understand.
“Because of our unusual circumstances—” a smile twitches over his lips “—our marriage didn’t follow every one of the sacred traditions, but I did the best that I could.
” He presses a soft kiss against my forehead.
“And it worked. The ceremony forged our marriage bond even more strongly than I expected, given my makeshift compromises and the lack of witnesses to our consummation.”
“Witnesses to our consummation?” Surely, he misspoke. “There were supposed to be witnesses? To that part?”
He nods. “The entire court is meant to bear witness to the consummation ceremony between a sovereign and her—or his—mate.”
I’m speechless. It was bad enough when Zogar drilled me in full view of Tynan and Saxon. I can’t even imagine being bound to that throne, with strangers watching him penetrate me for the very first time. My mind flashes to the women in Lucian’s club, and heat rises in my cheeks once again.
“Xendus and Surath eloped,” Zogar continues. “They ran off, spoke their vows, and didn’t return for over five years. I searched everywhere.” He shakes his head. “And when they did come back, she acted as if her actions were nothing.”
“She was very young when they married.”
He growls. “Too young. I held Xendus responsible. He was seven and twenty when they wed. I challenged him to a death battle, but Surath stopped me. She told me that if I spared her husband’s life, she’d support my ascension to the throne, once our aunt died.”
“That’s how you became king.” I’m so relieved to hear that he didn’t fight his sister for the crown or directly steal it.
“There was more to it than that,” Zogar says. “When my aunt died, I was forced to battle the champion put forward by my aunt’s chosen successor. Because we lived far from court, I lacked many battle skills, but Xendus and I had fought many times.”
“You and Xendus fought? Even after Surath’s—” I don’t want to say the word sacrifice.
But that’s what Surath did. She sacrificed her claim to the throne for her brother, and for her husband, for her marriage.
This deepens my understanding of Surath.
It explains her strong sense of pride, and also her pent-up anger.
“Xendus and I never tried to kill each other—not really,” Zogar continues. “I promised Surath that I wouldn’t kill her husband, and…” He shrugs.
“It’s possible that Surath extracted a similar promise from Xendus.
In any case, I’m grateful for our many battles.
My fights with Xendus, both in human and dragon form, made us both stronger, more skilled in battle.
He prepared me to take on the usurper’s champion.
And it helped us work out our resentment toward each other. ”
I nod, although I’ll never understand why males think hurting each other is an acceptable way to resolve conflict.
“Now, my wife.” Zogar’s fingers stroke down my cheek as he gazes intently into my eyes. “If you’re done grilling me with questions—”
I open my mouth to object, but he touches my lips with his finger, so I stop.
“Perhaps you’ll allow me to broach a subject of great importance.” Grinning, he winks, but his expression flickers, as if he’s struggling with multiple emotions. “You saved my life, today.” His voice comes out on a deep whisper.
My heart flutters. I don’t respond, but his sincere thankfulness penetrates my heart, increasing my gratitude for him.
Today, Zogar revealed vulnerabilities I never imagined, and I deeply appreciate his openness.
He thinks he revealed weaknesses, but all these revelations have made him seem that much stronger.
A man I not only admire, but one I very much need.
I’ve never wanted to rely on any man—not ever—and yet I’ve grown to need Zogar.
Not just because I need him in dragon form to fly me back to the Light—and not just because of the intense pleasure I glean from his cock.
I do need him for both of those things, but I’ve grown to need Zogar’s support, his wise counsel, his wry sense of humor and decisive nature.
And I’ve also grown attached to the feelings I have when he shows his admiration and gratitude for me. Almost as if he needs me too.
Zogar sees traits in me I’ve never seen in myself. Zogar makes me feel as if I am capable of anything.
His huge arms lift and shift me until I’m straddling one of his extended legs. For a long moment, we gaze into each other’s eyes, then he cups my face and presses his lips against mine.