Chapter 44 #2
I nod, my eyes skimming his body, looking for damage, trying not to focus on the part of him that’s decidedly hard. He’s lost weight, his cheeks are hollower above the beard that’s glinting in the sunlight as water droplets cling to its golden hairs.
My fingers tingle, wanting to test the texture of that hair, to feel the warmth of his skin, to feel the touch of his lips against mine, but I need to resist. I squeeze my legs together hoping to quash the now pounding ache.
“Surath and Xendus told me you were taken away in chains when you landed, and that you were locked away, but I know little else.”
He leans back, bracing himself on his arms, and while they too seem smaller, his muscles bulge to support him. His chest is still firm and broad, and the sunlight glints off the dusting of golden hair there.
Turning, I bend up one leg to face him.
“There’s not much else to tell.” He shakes his head. “The klericks interrogated me daily, but I refused to speak. They didn’t even know the right questions to ask. They have no idea what lies beyond the veil, or that the dragons are shifters.”
“Some of them know, now,” I tell him.
“Yeah. Surath told me that some of the riders and guards saw her shift. And they’ve seen her fly without me on her back.”
This is news to me, but I’m not surprised.
“Did they hurt you badly?” I ask softly. Under his ribs, his skin is marred by bruises, and I long to do something, anything, to soothe them.
His nose wrinkles as he shakes his head. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”
“Treacher said you were tortured.”
“He exaggerated,” Saxon says, but he turns his gaze away from me, making me wonder.
“You’re hurt.” Saxon’s finger gently touches the X shaped scar on my belly that’s already healing.
“It’s nothing.” Considering the pain it caused at the time, the wound sealed almost instantly, and I forgot for the moment it was there. “What did the klericks do to you?” My finger brushes over a bruise.
“Mostly, they tried to starve me, but Treacher brought me fresh bread and clean water. And he occasionally snuck in a scrap of cheese or meat.” He shakes his head. “I was sure it was a trick. I thought he was trying to manipulate me. I’m still not convinced that he wasn’t.”
Saxon looks back into my eyes, and I nod in agreement. I’m still finding it hard to believe that Treacher has become an ally.
“Roule is dead,” I say.
Saxon’s eyes widen, but then quickly narrow as he shakes his head side to side. “Wish I could say I was sadder about that. How did it happen?”
“Nyxarious dropped him. He was impaled on the Shrine of Othrix in the courtyard.”
Saxon chuckles darkly, and lust rushes through me as I watch the laughter ripple across his chest and stomach muscles. If anything, the ridges of his stomach are even more prominent now.
“And Nyxarious?” His expression fills with concern. “Has she been across the veil? Could Nyx fly without Roule on her back?”
My heart fills with sadness, and my eyes with tears.
“What happened?” Saxon straightens and wraps one of his arms around my shoulders.
“Nyxarious stayed in the air but couldn’t see or hear well. Zogar was helping her. Guiding her, but—” My voice breaks.
“You don’t need to tell me.”
“It’s okay.” I shake my head. “It happened such a short time ago—but so much happened today that it’s hard to process it all.”
He nods, his face full of understanding.
“She flew directly into a mountain peak. Zogar seems sure she did it on purpose, out of shame for killing Roule.”
“Why did she kill Roule?” Saxon asks. “I mean, I know why I’d want to kill him.”
“What’s been going on here?” I ask, thinking of Roule. “How did the klericks seize control?”
“I don’t know for certain.” Saxon’s eyes narrow. “A lot changed, while we were all in Lymbo.” His expression softens for a moment, and I can tell he’s recalling the time we spent together.
“When Tynan and I returned,” he continues, “the klericy had taken control of the camp, and it seemed as if Khotor had conquered the other kingdoms.”
“I’ve been back in the Light for less than a day,” I tell him, “but that’s how it seems to me, too.”
“The dragon-shifters say that Othrix is a false god,” I tell Saxon. “They say his image is of a superi creature called a manticore. Have you ever heard of a manticore?”
Saxon shakes his head slowly.
“Do you know what’s happened to Tynan?”
Saxon draws a long breath. “I don’t know much. Only what my inquisitors—including Roule and Treacher—told me.”
“And?”
“Both say he’s in Khotor, and Roule says he’s joined forces with the King.”
“I doubt anything Roule told you, but I think we can trust Treacher.”
Saxon nods, a tight grin on his face. “I never would have thought.”
“Nor I.”
His head tips to the side. “But, if the Seven Kingdoms are now ruled by the klericy—” He pauses again.
“Roule was always religious. Certainly, far more religious than Treacher or me. Still, I never thought his loyalties could shift so abruptly.” He draws another long breath, and his chest hair catches more sunlight.
“I suppose one can never truly know someone. Even after close to thirty years.”
I consider his words. I’ve known Saxon and Tynan a much shorter time than that—Zogar for even less time. And yet I feel like I know all three of the men even better than I know my own heart. And even if Tynan’s remained in Khotor, it doesn’t mean he’s a traitor.
If I’ve learned anything, I’ve learned that I can’t take time with any of these men for granted, especially in a world so unstable. It feels like a lifetime since I’ve been with Saxon or Tynan, and I know even more time has passed for them.
A sense of certainty washes through me. I do care about Zogar’s feelings—deeply. But I can’t keep my distance from Saxon today. If Zogar wanted to prevent it, he’d never had told me to follow Saxon. Or he would have set some ground rules first.
My heart swells, heating my body inside and out. At least I’ve made one decision. After we finish talking, I’m going to kiss Saxon; I’m going to touch him; I’m going to let him touch me. And if his body is strong enough, I’ll make love to him as if it’s our very last time.