Chapter Twenty-Three
Convincing Finn and Ezzy to hold their questions was easy enough, the limp, the blood on her sleeve did most of the work for me.
I told him we’d get her to the Healers’ Wing first, that I’d tell them everything after. But when we reached the ward, I didn’t slow down. Just tossed out a line about needing to find Rowan and kept moving.
Finn barely looked up, too busy fussing over Ezzy, who was already getting frustrated, swatting at his hands. Their voices tangled behind me, fading as I rounded the corner into the main corridor.
Thank god they didn't stop me as it meant I had some time to think of a good bloody reason why Talen Veirmont’s mouth had been all over mine, without any of them getting suspicious.
She’d been hallucinating from being hit too hard?
No, that wouldn’t work, Finn had seen it too. And the cadets whispering by the door? They’d have it spread around the Citadel before sunset.
I walked faster, then slower, turning in tight circles like that might shake something loose. It didn’t. Not a single excuse that wouldn’t sound insane or pathetic or both.
Then Rowan came flying down the corridor toward me. Bone-white, whiter than usual, if that’s even possible, and strung tight with panic.
I told him she was okay, but he didn’t hear me. Just kept going, shoving past like he’d break through the walls if it meant getting to her faster.
He was so wound up that it got under my skin. My head was still a mess, and every lie I tried to grab on to slid right through my fingers.
Only upside? My Threads were drained. Protecting Ezzy had wrung me dry, it’s weird, I’d never felt them this empty before. Not even after Ryven.
Hopefully that’s good. Hopefully they’ll take long enough to recharge for Finn to make me a new duck…
The corridor curves again, and the noise hits first—laughter, warm and muffled, spilling out from the Healers’ Wing. Rowan slows beside me, tension finally starting to bleed off his shoulders.
“Stop, Finn,” Ezzy giggles between coughs. “It hurts too much to laugh.”
We step inside.
Finn’s perched at Ezzy’s side, leaning over with a grin. He’s blocking most of her face, but his fingers are clearly wrapped around hers like it’s the most natural thing in the world. But the second he clocks us he shifts, hand sliding away, coming to rest on the blanket beside hers.
Rowan doesn’t seem to notice, or care; his gaze is locked, taking in the full extent of Ezzy’s injuries. He’s at her bedside in three deliberate strides.
“Ezzy, when I heard—” His voice cracks, and he swallows hard, cutting himself off. “Stars, for a second, I thought I’d lost you. That he’d…”
She blinks. But before she can answer, he’s already talking again.
“Why aren’t you sitting up properly?” he questions, reaching for the pillows behind her back. “You need to keep your lungs elevated after trauma.”
Ezzy stiffens. “Rowan, I’m—”
He tugs the pillow up anyway. “Just let me... there. Is that better?”
“She’s fine,” Finn huffs.
But Rowan ignores him, straightening the blanket, smoothing it over her legs like she’s about to catch a chill and drop dead. “Have the healers been in? Did they run a full check? Because sometimes internal bleeding doesn’t show until—”
“They ran it twice,” Ezzy grits out.
“Your shoulder... do you want me to adjust the sling? You’re not holding it right.”
Ezzy gives him a look. “It’s a dislocated shoulder, Rowan. Not a death sentence.”
As I watch them go at it, my hand tightens around the door handle. Rowan spiralling into full lecture mode might be the only chance I get to slip out, avoid this whole thing, avoid their questions...
But out of the corner of my eye, I catch him, Finn’s watching me. Not threatening. Just… waiting. Like a friend barely holding back a grin because he knows there’s gossip, and he’s dying to hear it.
“And what the hell was Professor Strannt thinking?” Rowan continues his rant. “Pairing you with Elijah? Was this sanctioned? Because if it wasn’t, I swear, I will—”
Ezzy lets out a tight breath through her nose. “Rowan.” His head jerks toward her. “I’m not dead, I'm fine. I'm not as fragile as you think. I can look after myself, sometimes, you know… so maybe dial back the dramatics.”
The silence that follows is taut, stretched thin between them. Rowan doesn’t move. Just stares at her like she’s ripped straight through something he wasn’t ready to admit was there.
I don’t move either, my body locks up as a sour taste rises in the back of my throat.
Because I know it’s not true.
If I hadn’t interfered, if I hadn’t stopped him, she wouldn’t be breathing right now. But do they know?
“I know you’re not fragile,” Rowan finally replies, voice breaking slightly.
“You’ve always been stronger than people see.
Stronger than I see. But you’re all I’ve got left.
” His tone drops. “You’re not just family, Ez.
You’re my responsibility. Protecting you…
that’s the one thing I’m good at. And when I heard what Elijah did.
.. when I thought I was too late…” He swallows hard.
“I should’ve seen it coming. I didn’t see it coming. I’m so sorry.”
Ezzy’s mouth opens slightly, nothing comes out; but the heat in her face softens, just a little.
“I don’t mean to smother you.” Rowan continues, a weak smile tugging at his mouth as he sinks into the chair across from Finn.
“I just… didn’t know how to breathe until I knew you were okay.
” A hand drags over his face, tension loosening.
“But stars, what’s Elijah’s problem? I don’t think you’ve even spoken to him this semester. Why take it this far?”
The thump in my chest sharpens, like my body’s trying to outrun what I’m not saying. I should tell them. They should know. Should have the chance to protect themselves. That it was me. That they used Ezzy to get to me, dangled her like bait, and meant to throw her away when they were done.
My lips twitch, words clawing their way up, scraping against everything I know better than to risk. If I say it, everything unravels. But holding it in? I don't kn—
“It’s my fault.” Finn’s voice cuts through, shattering my mental spiral like glass. “I’m sorry, Rowan. I should have done something... but I just froze. When I saw the look on Elijah’s face, I knew what she was walking into, and I didn’t—”
Ezzy reaches for him, her fingers brushing his. “It’s okay. You couldn’t do anything. You know the rules. If you’d interfered, they would’ve Reassigned you. Maybe both of us.”
Finn eases his hand back and forces a grin, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. Guilt is still sitting there, plain as day. She smiles at him, the edge of pain in her eyes softening.
My chest should loosen, but it doesn’t. She’s still here, still breathing… and still three questions away from finding out what I’ve done. The kiss. The lies. The reason she was even in that arena in the first place.
“I think he was just trying to make a point,” Finn says after a beat. “The guy’s an asshole who hangs out with bigger assholes. Probably wanted to make a scene, start of a new semester, take down an easy mark to make the rest of the cohort flinch.”
“Hey. Easy mark?” Ezzy frowns as Finn shoots her a you know what I mean look, which only pisses her off more.
Great. Maybe they’ll start bickering again and I can slip out before the truth burns a hole clean through the back of my throat. But it doesn’t last, Finn actually backs down this time.
“Do I need to remind you both,” Ezzy boasts. “That I placed top of our Offensive Magic class last year? And I’m fine, bruises aren’t terminal. Plus, I’m the one who had him in a choke hold until he passed out...”
“True.” Finn nods, almost impressed. “I’ll give you that. And I’ll admit I’m always glad I’m not paired against you in any magical Demonstrations.”
His hand shifts on the blanket, just a little closer to hers—but then his eyes flick to me. He wants to ask, I see it immediately. My throat tightens, I swallow but the air feels thick, heavy and waiting. Then Ezzy follows his gaze, head tilting as she squints right at me. Shit.
“Okay, forget Elijah for a second.... Forget me.” Her eyes now glinting as bright as her hairpin. “Because I want to know what the hell that was?”
I blink. “What was what?”
“That,” she says, stabbing a finger in the air like the kiss is still hanging there.
“You and officer tall, dark, and golden-eyed, the Nightrose, making out in the middle of the Rec Hall while half the Citadel watched! Did I get knocked in the head harder than I thought, or did that actually just happen?”
Heat flares—neck, ears, everywhere, so hot it itches.
I open my mouth, but close it again. Quick.
God, I was hoping they’d stay wrapped up in making sure she was okay.
But the second she asks, all three sets of eyes swing my way.
Finn practically jumping with excitement, while Rowan just leans back in his chair, arms crossed, one brow raised.
My lips press tighter, like that’ll hold the truth in. But there’s no escaping it, no escaping Talen. No escaping the kiss.
And now they’re all staring, wide-eyed, waiting for answers I don’t have, or can’t give.
If I tell them the truth, they’ll know I interfered. They’ll start putting pieces together—why I wasn’t Reassigned, why he was kissing me... and who knows what Talen would do to me, to them, if he found out I didn’t play along.
But if I lie and they figure it out later? Trust gone. No way back. My only allies in here, my only friends?
If you want to stay alive. Keep your mouth shut. Never tell anyone that was fake.
Talen’s warning echoes in my head. No, I can’t risk testing him. Can’t risk Reassignment—front lines, dragon fire chewing through my lungs. I know Ezzy got hurt because of me. But I’ll be gone soon... she’ll be safe then. Won’t she?
Suddenly, the room feels about half its size, and yeah, my face is definitely red.
Just over two weeks left... but I have to give them something.