CHAPTER 38
Seraphina
I tried to distract myself in the library, pressing my fingers against the spines of books, but every word blurred.
I could still feel him behind me, watching, existing in my mind like a shadow I couldn’t shake.
Every corner of the room seemed to echo with his presence, the faint scent of him lingering in the air, a ghost I could neither ignore nor escape.
I pressed my palms to my face, trembling.
Why did he have this effect on me? Why did every look, every breath, every fleeting touch leave me undone?
I hated myself for the way my pulse jumped, for the ache that settled low in my stomach whenever I thought of him.
He wasn’t just a man and I could feel it, deep in my bones, he was a storm, and I had no shelter from it.
Yet, I wanted him more than I wanted air, more than I wanted peace.
I hated that desire, but I couldn’t deny it.
It made me ache, it made me fragile, it made me human.
I hated that I craved him as much as I feared him.
Every memory of his touch, every fleeting brush of his lips across my skin, left me trembling, both furious and wanting.
I hated that he had become a need I couldn’t ignore.
I sank into a chair, letting the tears come.
Silent, shaking, and exhausted, and in that moment, I realized something.
I had already let him inside me, deeper than I could have imagined, and I wasn’t sure I wanted him to leave.
Part of me…no, more than part was tethered to him now.
My body remembered what my mind tried to deny, and my heart had already whispered a dangerous truth, he owned a piece of me, whether I wanted to admit it or not, and then, as if on cue, the faintest sound made me freeze.
A shadow shifted near the shelves, and my breath hitched.
My pulse raced, irrational and impossible.
I felt it again, the inescapable pull of him.
I wanted to turn, to run, to hide, but my body betrayed me, frozen with anticipation, every nerve alight.
He didn’t need to be near to make me shiver, the mere thought of him was enough.
I whispered his name into the quiet, almost as if testing it, tasting it, and a shiver ran down my spine.
“Lucien…” I breathed. I hated that it came out like a plea, a confession, a surrender.
My hands clutched the arms of the chair so hard that it started turning my knuckles white.
He had me, completely, in a way no one else ever could.
I hated the way my heart clenched at the thought, yet I craved him more than I had ever craved anything in my life.
Even as I sank further into that quiet, trembling despair, I knew one terrifying truth. I was already lost and I didn’t want to be found.