CHAPTER 24
LANDRY
The bonfire was hot on my face, the flames warming every inch of me through my thick sweater and leggings. It was an Ivybrook tradition: Students come together to build the two-story-high tower of tree trunks over the course of two weeks so that the entire student body can come together and get hammered to celebrate the season and the last week of the semester.
The party was held in a massive field about an hour out from campus, allowing for all the festivities without any of the fire hazards. Easily a hundred students socialized around the massive tower as music played and the sun slowly set in the sky.
Bexley and I passed a thermos of steaming hot chocolate back and forth, the liquid warming my insides as we sat around the fire with Olivia and TJ to our right and Nate to our left. Zayn had ridden with Cashton and Kaptan, who should be here shortly .
“You guys ready for your exams next week?” Nate asked, reaching over me to grab the hot chocolate from Bexley.
“Definitely,” Bexley responded.
“I think so!” I answered truthfully. “What about you? What are you going to do now that Lacrosse season is over?”
“We’ll still have practice a few days a week next semester to get ready for next season.”
“Tell them the good news!” Olivia exclaimed, her and TJ turning to look at Nate expectantly.
“It’s not a huge deal or anything. But with Kirin graduating at the end of the spring semester, he and Coach asked if I would be his replacement as team captain for next year. Coach wants me to take over the role after winter break, that way the team can begin to adjust to the new leadership.”
“Oh my gosh Nate, that’s amazing!” I exclaimed, jumping over to wrap him in a tight embrace that he returned. “Congratulations!”
“That’s really great, Nate! So happy for you!” Bexley added, taking a turn to hug him as well.
“Well deserved, bro,” TJ stated, raising his drink in cheers.
“What’s going on over here?” Zayn cut in, the group of us turning to find his tall form arriving behind us. My gaze instinctively followed behind him, finding Kaptan and Cashton making their way over. Their breaths were visible in the chilly December air, hands in their pockets, as Kaptan wore a leather vest and Cashton followed in a hoodie topped by a thick denim jacket.
“Nate’s going to be team captain next year!” Olivia announced .
“Nice job man!” Zayn said as he clapped his friend on the back.
I couldn’t help but sneak a glance back to Cashton and Kaptan, my eyes always seeming drawn to the former against my will. It was like my body could sense when he was around, needing to be aware of where he was at all times when he was around. I hated it, this pull that I had towards him.
He and Kaptan hung back closer towards where the cars were all parked, some sort of serious conversation going on in between them. It didn’t look heated, just like they were discussing something important. I watched as Cashton shoved a flask back into his hoodie pocket, wondering if this was the first time I had seen him drink any sort of heavy liquor. I guess he was ready to celebrate tonight.
I turned back around to face the fire, my cheeks heating as I hoped that nobody had caught me ogling him. I needed to get my head straight. Cashton was bad news, no matter how insanely hot he was. Why couldn’t I be drawn to someone friendlier, like Nate or even Zayn? Zayn was a bit wild for my taste, but Nate was a total sweetheart with a good head on his shoulders. But as I chanced him a glance, it did absolutely nothing to me in the romantic department.
I shook the thought of Cashton out of my head, forcing myself to return to the conversation that was going on around me.
“New Year’s party at our house this year, by the way!” Zayn called as he walked back in the direction of the cars where Kaptan and Cashton stood.
“Fine!” Olivia yelled back at him, “I’ll come over that morning to decorate! I already ordered the champagne flutes from Italy. And before you ask, yes, I got twice as many this time. It’s not my fault that you hooligans always break so many, but at least we’ll have plenty this year.”
“Bet!” he called over his shoulder, slipping between the cars to meet up with Cashton and his brother.
“I don’t want it too huge this year. It got a little too wild last year. I’m thinking maybe thirty? Fifty tops? Oh, and who is everyone kissing this year?” She asked, suggestively wiggling her eyebrows at Bexley, Nate, and I.
“I’ll be kissing my beer,” Nate responded, bringing his drink to his lips.
Bexley only blushed, the pink color bright against her pale cheeks. “Nobody. I’ll still be at home with my parents, I promised them that I would stay for the entire break.”
“Aw, we’re going to miss you!” Olivia pouted.
“We’ll make sure to FaceTime you at midnight so we can still celebrate together.” I offered, Olivia nodding her head in agreement.
“Works for me!” Bexley smiled, the three of us grinning at each other as the glow from the fire lit up our faces.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, a ping coming from Olivia’s phone next to me as Bexley’s buzzed in her lap. A cacophony of text notifications spread across the crowd, students pulling their phones out as chaos erupted.
“What’s going on?” I asked, hearing gasps and laughs echo around me from all around the fire. Bexley and Olivia both appeared frozen as they watched whatever was playing on their screen .
I pulled my own cell phone out, hurriedly clicking on the text message from the unknown phone number that awaited. It was a link, no context or text body accompanying it.
Clicking on the link, I felt my heart sink into my stomach as I took in the video on the screen. Bile rose in my throat, nausea churning in my stomach as all the hot cocoa threatened to come back up.
“ Do you taste yourself on me, princess? You look so good choking on my cock. ”
No no no no no. This couldn’t be happening.
I watched myself down on my knees as I swallowed down Cashton’s cock, the groans and grunts loud through my phone speakers. The recording must have been taken from the far corner of the bathroom, the video clearly giving away my face while Cashton’s back was turned to the camera. I watched in horror, seeing his fist gripped into my freshly-fucked hair as I dug my nails around his thighs, tears streaming down my face as I looked up at him.
I dropped my phone, my hand shaking and mouth agape as I turned towards Olivia and Bexley, needing someone to tell me that this was some mistake and that the video had only been sent to me, not the entire student body. But the looks of shock on their faces only caused my dread to sink deeper.
Looking around the fire, I felt eyes on me from every direction, some whispering to their friends while others unapologetically cheered as they rewatched the video over and over again.
All sorts of comments were passed around, some along the lines of ‘ Get it, girl! ’ and ‘ Damn that’s hot! ’ while others leaned more towards ‘ I didn’t know Landry Andrews was a whore. ’ and ‘ What a slut, that’s so gross .’
This had to be a nightmare, one that I would wake up from any second. This couldn’t be happening. My body was frozen, ice running through my veins. My mind somehow remained blank, almost as if my brain was attempting to shield me from the situation by shutting down my thoughts completely.
Everyone had seen the video. Everyone knew. Everyone had seen me in such a private, vulnerable state. I felt exposed, humiliation and shame flooding me until I couldn’t breathe.
I could barely make out the friends around me speaking, all of them trying to gain my attention as tears started silently falling down my face. I could hear Bexley urging me to go to the car, Olivia telling me everything was going to be okay, while Nate and TJ began yelling at onlookers to get fucked and mind their own business.
But I ignored each and every one of them, static buzzing in my ears as I honed in on the feel of eyes burning through the back of my skull.
My body was on autopilot as I slowly turned around, immediately meeting a set of piercing green eyes. Had he seen the video? Why wasn’t he doing anything about it?
But as I took in his hard gaze, my lungs stopped working. Any answers I had needed were held in his intense glare. Cashton didn’t only know—He had done this. I had no doubt in my mind as our eyes held, his gaze following one of the lone tears gliding down my cheek until it hit my jaw and fell.
A hand grabbed my shoulder, Bexley already standing as she attempted to shake me out of whatever trance I was in .
“Landry, let’s go to the car,” she urged, Olivia at my other side as Nate and TJ took place between us and the bonfire, shielding us from the rest of the student body.
I got up, my body numb as I let them drag me towards the vehicles on the outskirts of the field.
But as we made to pass by Kaptan and Cashton, I planted my feet in the ground. Fury began flowing through every ounce of me. He thought he had won, but I was sick and tired of his stupid little games. He had crossed a line, and I wasn’t backing down this time.
I raced over to him, surprise briefly flickering in his gaze as I made my way right up to him before throwing my full force into the blow that I landed across his face. His head whipped to the side from the impact, pausing there for a moment as he breathed hard and slowly turned back to face me.
I was fuming, seeing nothing but red as I bared my teeth at him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!” I screamed, the rest of the group silent at my back. This was between Cashton and I, and they knew it.
“What did I ever do to you to deserve this!” I continued, my body shaking from the rage inside of me. But he only stared down at me, eyes hard and darker than I had ever seen.
“What did you do to deserve this?” he ground out, his teeth clenching as his fists balled. I breathed, my heart pounding in my chest as I watched my ragged exhales through the chilly air. I wanted to scream, to punch him again, but I waited. I forced myself to stand there, bearing his scrutiny as he looked down at me.
“Emory Astor. ”
My brain staggered, trying to process his words. Where had I heard that name before?
“My sister was Emory Astor.”
Confusion shot through me. Emory Astor… Why did that name sound so familiar? And then it hit me. Sweet little Emory Astor, with the glasses and the wild hair. She had been in a few of my classes senior year, a transfer student if I remember correctly. Where was this going?
“New Year’s Eve last year.” He stated, and I jogged my memory to try to understand. I began to remember, images of little Emory Astor taking shot after shot as Savannah and Francesca essentially poured them down her throat. She had come out to the party with us, I recalled. I hadn’t talked to her much, but Sav and Francesca had decided to bring her as some sort of fucked up prank.
I didn’t speak, waiting to hear what he had to say. Needing to know what had happened that somehow excused his behavior.
“She looked up to you guys, did you know that? You and your little friends? Did you know that she spent two weeks hunting for the perfect outfit, begging our mother to get her contact lenses so she wouldn’t have to wear glasses to her first high school party? I had taken her to get her nails done that morning, wanting her to feel beautiful. Wanting her to feel like she actually fit in.”
My breathing grew harder, words stuck in my throat as I waited for him to continue.
“I stopped understanding her drunk texts around midnight, but decided to let her have some fun since it was her last year of high school. She made me promise not to be the overbearing older brother. But she stopped replying completely about an hour later, and that’s when I got in my car and tracked her phone. I found the party, but she wasn’t there.”
My heart was racing painfully in my chest, the air around me crowding in as it became harder and harder to breathe. I remembered that night. Emory had gotten drunker and drunker until she could barely stand on her own, peer pressured by none other than those two bitches I used to call my friends. How far had they taken this?
“I was out looking for her for hours until I finally found her, right outside the gate of our house. Almost didn’t spot her at first, she was halfway in the rose bushes. You never forget the first dead body you come across, you know? It becomes seared into your memory, the lifeless eyes that once shone bright enough to make all of the bad in your world disappear.”
His face was hard as stone, eyes colder than I had ever seen.
“You want to know why I hate you, Landry? You want to know what you did to deserve this?”
I gulped, praying that it wasn’t audible. I could feel the rest of the group around me, Bexley’s presence warming my side, but my focus was solely on the man in front of me who held more pain in his eyes than I could even imagine possible.
“She was already cold when I found her. You and your friends left her outside of our family’s gate, not even bothering to knock on the door as you left her to die there, by herself, from alcohol poisoning. You got my baby sister drunk as some fucked up game for your entertainment, and then you left her to die without as much as a second glance. And every time I see your face, I remember that my sister should have been the one to be here with me this year. So, I don’t hate you, Landry. I loathe you.”
I didn’t even attempt to keep the tears from falling. If I had thought that I was falling apart earlier, this was a million times worse. I was going to throw up, my legs refusing to move as my mind went hazy. Everything was spinning, and I was going to pass out.
His cold glare kept me rooted in place, his eyes far from anything I had seen before. He wasn’t just mad. He looked dead inside, not one hint of forgiveness or sympathy in his gaze. This was not the Cashton I had come to know. And I wanted nothing more than to crawl under a rock and rot at this moment. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. My lungs were no longer working.
“Let’s go,” Bexley whispered, placing a hand on my shoulder as she guided me away. I had never felt so small. I found the strength to turn to Zayn and Kaptan, pain etched on their faces, but not an ounce of surprise.
“You guys knew?” I spoke on a breath, the words barely audible. Their silence answered for me, causing me to falter as I took a small step backwards. I turned to Olivia, not thinking that my heart could possibly break any more than it already had tonight, but she only shook her head and promised me “I had no idea Lan, I swear it on my life.”
I allowed Bexley to lead me away, Nate following as he helped me in the car, buckling my seatbelt for me before offering me a pitying glance and a quick “I’m so sorry, Landry. I swear I had nothing to do with this, but I need to make sure Cash is okay,” before shutting my door as I watched him walk away through the side mirror of Bexley’s Audi S4 .
I needed to run away. I needed to get out of here, to stew in my humiliation and sorrow by myself. This all felt like a wicked dream, tears racing down my face as I stared absently through the front windshield. This was all too much. And I had no idea where I could go from here. But I just needed my bed, and sleep, and to hopefully never wake up. I was stronger now, but not strong enough to handle this.