CHAPTER 33
LANDRY
A few things happened earlier today. The police showed up at my door to announce that my father had taken his own life last night. His assistant had apparently found him after showing up to the house when he didn’t answer his phone all morning.
They also asked me about the broken glass in the driveway and shattered car window, to which I had told them the truth about what had happened. They concluded that he had been so overwhelmed with the anniversary of his wife’s death, and then horrified by his own actions towards me, that he ended his own life.
You would think I would be phased, that I would have broken down and wept. But I hadn’t. I was numb. I loved my dad once upon a time, but those memories had all been tainted.
Then, a doctor came to check on me, to make sure I was doing okay. He had put some ointment on the shredded soles of my feet and given me some electrolytes for the recovery. At one point, he tried to assess my mental health, asking the same questions I had been asked countless times throughout my life. I told him what he wanted to hear—Olivia by my side the entire time in Cashton’s bed.
She had asked a few more times if I had wanted to talk about it, but I shook my head each time. I wasn’t ready to talk yet. I wasn’t ready to face any of it. I had been forced to do so last night, and it had driven me to this state. Instead, I let myself drift back off.
A soft knock woke me from my slumber, my heavy eyes blinking open to find Cashton at the entrance of the bedroom. He wore his typical hoodie with a denim jacket over the top, his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he leaned in the doorway.
“How are you feeling, princess?” he asked, and my heart skipped a beat. I was mortified. I had spent the entire day in his bed, after promising that I would stay away from him completely. And now I was in his house, in his bedroom, in his freaking bed.
Olivia looked between the two of us, a playful smirk on her face.
“I’ll leave you two alone for a moment,” she offered, lifting the covers and rolling out of the bed before making her way past Cashton out of the bedroom.
I forced myself to stand, crossing my arms over the oversized hoodie I still wore. I wanted to fade away into nothingness, wanting to be anywhere but here.
“Olivia said I can come stay with her for the rest of the break. I’m so sorry for showing up here last night, I didn’t know where to go. I knew Olivia was coming to the party, so I figured she would be here— ”
“Landry,” he cut me off, taking a few steps closer until he towered over me. I kept my gaze down, not wanting to meet his eyes.
“I’m sorry for everything. Everything I did, everything I said to you at the dance, all of it.”
Well, that wasn’t exactly what I had expected to hear.
“I wish more than anything that I could take it all back. I fucked up, and you didn’t deserve any of it. I can’t erase the things I did, but I will make damn sure that I make things right, however I can, and however long it takes. I swear to you that I will make it up to you somehow. I am so, so sorry.”
I had craved those very words for so long, needing someone to convince me that I was worthy of forgiveness. But hearing the words, I still felt nothing.
Because I had deserved all of it. I could have stopped his sister’s death that night, and I hadn’t. I may not have directly killed Emory, but I was still just as guilty. And my mom…
“Landry, look at me.”
His calloused hand grabbed my chin, tilting it up to meet his eyes.
“You’re welcome to stay here, if you want.”
He paused.
“I would like it if you stayed here. Please, stay here.”
“No,” I immediately responded, shaking my head out of his grasp. He had said he couldn’t even look at my face. And now it was my turn to push him away, because I couldn’t face him. Not after everything that had happened. I didn’t have any fight left in me. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I didn’t want anybody to see me like this. I just wanted to get away from here, to be by myself for a while, to hurt alone .
Brushing past him, I raced out of the room, finding my way back to the grand staircase and through the house until I found Olivia on her phone in the living room.
“What do you mean, cockroaches? There’s literally no way,” she spoke with the person on the other line, her phone pressed tightly to her ear as she faced away from me.
“Oh my gosh. Are you serious?!” she practically screamed. A few beats passed as she listened to whoever she was speaking with. “Three days? Please tell me this is a joke. What are we supposed to do for three days?”
Spinning around, she noticed me standing there before looking over my shoulder as Cashton entered the room, crossing his arms and leaning against the massive fireplace. He exchanged a smirk with Zayn across the living room, something unspoken passing between them.
“Ugghh, this is ridiculous. Can we at least come grab some of our stuff?” She turned back around, looking through the floor to ceiling windows leading to the backyard.
“Okay, I’ll text him what to grab. Bye.”
Hitting the end button, she turned around to face us.
“We have a cockroach infestation at the house. Our head of staff just called—He said that hundreds of them somehow appeared out of the blue this morning. How does that even happen!”
Cashton remained silent, though I could have sworn I noticed a playful glint in his eyes. I stepped forward, arms still hugging my chest as I wondered what this meant for our living situation.
“What did he say?” I asked.
“That they basically need to bomb the entire place. ”
“Bomb?” I asked, my eyes bugging out of my head.
“Like a bug bomb. Basically, fog them out for a day or two and then go back and deep clean everything in the house. But nobody can be in the house while they do that, so we all need to find a place to stay.”
“Well, good thing we have a vast array of bedrooms to choose from,” Cashton spoke from behind me.
“Oh my gosh, really?” she sweetly asked before running up and embracing him. “I’m glad you offered because Nate and TJ are already headed this way with all of our stuff. Thanks Cash!”