29. Astor
TWENTY-NINE
ASTOR
I’m crouched down, weight balanced in a low squat, trying to keep the glowing necklace and bracelets as covered in the brush as possible. I hear someone approaching, and fear coats my throat. I know it’s probably Rurik but I can’t be sure, and even if it is I don’t want him to catch me either.
Would he catch me on purpose so I can’t join? I don’t think so.
If I just stay low, he may walk right by me. I don’t think he’s spotted me yet.
He moves quietly for a guy of his size. Much more graceful than I would expect with all the muscle. I struggle to keep my breathing under control, my mind racing a million miles a second.
Thrill and fear overwhelm me in equal measure.
He’s getting closer, but if I run, he’ll see me easily so I need to stay motionless.
I want to inch backward, but don’t dare to move.
Any little sound will have him on me.
He turns towards me, hesitating, and I hold my breath, half afraid he can hear my heart slamming into my ribs. I clutch my chest as if I can mask the sound with another layer, but it’s the wrong move.
He moves like a tiger, changing directions in a snap, and I run.
Every sense in my body flips to high alert. Adrenaline pounds through my veins.
I’m being hunted like an animal. A rabbit running from the wolf. I should hate it. Hate the fear. Hate the uncertainty. Hate knowing that if he catches me, I will lose.
But I don’t.
I like him chasing me, and I’m scared to know what that says about me.
I don’t dare look behind me. I know it loses steps, but I need to know how close he is. My body tells me he’s close. His breathing fills my ears.
Fear crawls up my throat, expecting him to tackle me at any moment. I’m breathing hard, winded already, fighting the underbrush for every step. Stumbling, tripping, controlled, falling while running.
I won’t give in, but I’m half hard at the possibility of what he’d do to me if he captures me. Torn in the space between needing to get into Legacy and wanting to be taken.
I’m drunk on the thrill.
On barely evading him.
Both of us slow, unable to keep up the punishing pace.
We break into open space.
A grassy field next to a river. I veer to follow the bank, giving myself an easier track to run. But in the open, he closes in on me. His warm breath on my neck.
His large body hits mine, cutting off my scream before it starts, tackling me to the ground. I struggle against his weight, not willing to give up. My mind calms, slowing time like I do in a fencing match.
His scent overtakes all else. Vetivers and amber overlaying hints of dark spice. Only after all of him has engulfed me do I get finishing notes of orange blossom and the underlying laughter he always smells like. He was made to be out here.
He engulfs me with his body, but I won’t give in. He hasn’t won yet.
I get a knee between us as he rips down the zipper to my jacket. He pins it to my chest, massive hands keeping me in place while he readjusts to be between my thighs.
“You’re mine.” He bites my neck, tearing open my pants.
Panic seizes me when I realize what he’s doing. I thought this was just about capturing me, but it’s not. He has other plans. I fight wildly, all thought devolving into pure instinct. Shoving and kicking, biting when he gets too close. As savage as a caught animal.
I have to escape, or I’ll lose, but he counters every move, using his much larger size to keep me under him. I tear at him, seeking any vulnerable spot.
He laughs manically. “Baby, you’re so fucking hot when you resist.”
“Fuck you.” I refuse to let him see the core, under all the resistance, begging for this.
I can’t even acknowledge it myself. I can’t admit I want him to break me, even after saying it out loud.
I have to exist in the space where he takes it.
Makes me.
“You’re only making me harder.” He bites my neck again and sucks, using his weight to pin me to the ground.
“Get off me.” I don’t know when this stopped being about getting into Legacy and my fight not to get caught, but now it’s something else entirely. It’s me resisting but wanting him to win.
“You can’t stop me. I’m taking what’s mine.” He shoves my trousers down inch by inch. I open my legs wider, trying to prevent it, but it only allows his hips to crush against mine, letting me feel his cock.
“I’m not yours.” I roll into him, telling myself I’m only doing it to disarm him.
He shoves a hand between us, yanking down my briefs to expose me. “Yes, you are.”
“Get the fuck off me.” I’m painfully hard contradicting my words as his rough grasp closes around my hardness.
“Your dick knows the truth. I know how badly you want this.” His mouth hovers over mine.
“I don’t.” But I’m not even convincing myself anymore because the word ends in a moan.
He digs his fingers into my hip, holding me down while he strokes me. Nothing about this will be gentle, and I don’t want him to be. I buck and struggle, still trying to detangle our bodies.
I know I’m just delaying the inevitable, but I need it like this. “No. Please, no.”
“I love when you fight me, baby.” He forces his tongue into my mouth, demanding my lips part to kiss me deeply.
I drink the fear until it’s all I know, making me impossibly harder. I’m aching by the time he gets my pants down around my ankles. The cool air on my bare skin feels good after all the exertion.
“Do you have any idea how good you feel?” he says when our mouths break apart.
My mind is calm for the first time I can remember. No racing thoughts, no running scenario over and over in my mind, no screaming or rechecking. Just him and peace.
When he’s here, he forces all else out. Like his fucking menacing presence scares it all away. And I should be scared of him. He could kill me out here, and no one would ever know.
Keeping me pinned with his large hand on my hip, he grabs my jaw and kisses me forcefully, then having the gall to smile into my mouth.
He releases my cock, his hand moving to open his belt. The sound is almost triggering, threatening to pull me into a dark place I don’t want to go, but his lips on mine keep me grounded and I stay right here with him.
“I love how you taste.” He looks into my eyes as he lowers his zipper.
I desperately want him inside me. I need to feel the way he’ll stretch me wide open as he buries himself inside me.
And then it’s all too real again, feeling his tip rock against my taint.
This is really happening.
Panic grips me.
“I’m going to fuck myself so deep inside you, you won’t be able to remember a time when I didn’t own you.” He forces his tongue into my mouth.
I’m kissing him back, moaning, and then he breaks it.
His palm splays out over my chest, keeping me pinned in place as he fishes something out of his pocket.
He tears open the little packet and then squeezes out the cool gel over my taint and his cock.
His fingers spread it lower until they find my tight opening.
“Rurik,” I say when two fingers slip inside me, opening me up.
“You like how I fuck you, don’t you baby? Just wait until it’s my cock.” He knows exactly where to stroke to make me leak. And I am. My dick is begging for attention.
I buck into his strokes, gone is the fight to flee, left only with the frantic demand for his touch.
“This is mine to use, however I see fit.” He owns my hole, spreading his fingers to stretch me wider.
“Rurik. Please.” I’m not sure what I’m asking for.
He roughly fucks me with three fingers, punishing my prostate, until I almost beg him to just let me come or use his cock. But the intrusion of his fingers is nowhere near the size of him. I know it’s going to hurt…
And I realize I want the burn.
I want the blissful agony of him stretching me wide open.
“Please.” I’m not sure what I’m asking for, but if he doesn’t take me, I might fucking die.
“You need me inside you, don’t you baby?”
I try to shake my head, but I arch into him, knees falling wider, giving him all the access he needs.
“You are so fucking beautiful.” He withdraws his fingers, and I’m empty.
I hate it.
“I need you.” I can’t believe I’m admitting it but I do. More than anything else in the world.
My hole clenches around nothing, and then I feel his tip. He teases it over my opening.
“Fuck. Please.” I squeeze my eyes shut.
“I love when you beg for my cock.” He keeps playing and it’s agony.
“Fuck you.”
“No one else can have you. This is mine.”
Pressure burns against my hole, and finally it gives way, breaching my entrance. He forces himself further inside me, deeper, and it’s all consuming. The burn echoes through my body like every other part of him has.
And there’s ecstasy in the stretch. In the fullness. Finally having him inside me. The connection of it ignites my blood and lights up all the pleasure centers in my brain.
He pulls back working himself in slowly. It’s painful when I want it all.
I grab his hips, needing more. “Fuck me.”
“You’re such a needy little slut.” He slams forward, giving me half his length in one go.
I writhe, trapped between pain and pleasure and the undeniable need for more. I won’t be satisfied until I have all of him. He forces me open thrust by thrust, watching himself stretch me while he does.
“You take my cock so well. I love watching it.”
My cheeks flush, and I love that he’s watching himself take me. I lift into each trust, fucking myself on him.
“Your fucking perfect pink little hole is so stretched around me. Fuck, I love seeing you stretched around my cock, baby.” He’s slow, working himself in and out of me, and it’s painful to need more.
But it’s not enough.
I must have more.
How do I tell him I need to be ruined?
“Goddamn. You’re so fucking tight.” He squeezes my hip, head thrown back in pure lust.
I shove my hands under his shirt, aching for more of his beautiful body. “Harder, Rurik.”
“Keep saying my name and I’ll give you anything you want.”
“Rurik,” I whisper and he falls forward, relentlessly fucking me into the ground.
He leaves marks on my neck, adding to my ecstasy. I want the memory of everywhere he touched burned into my skin. I lose myself to him, giving him the piece I never thought I could give.
He pulls back and I cling to him, needing his weight, but he flips me over and drives back into me, falling forward to completely cover his body with mine.
He tilts his hips, staying deep, driving his cock through me.
It’s ruinous and blissful. Pounding me hard and fast. Every withdrawal sends me closer to the edge.
The nerves in my oversensitive ring stretched past reason, and it’s divine.
Over and over and over until I’m coming in an explosive, earth-shattering orgasm.
“Rurik.” I need him to stop and keep going and I don’t know what.
“I’m ruining you for anyone else.” He slams hard into me once, twice, and on the third, he fills me, flooding my insides with overwhelming warmth.
And he’s not wearing a condom.
Fuck.
It’s raw and I love it even more.
I’m oversensitive, but I don’t want him to stop.
He slows, but stays inside of me, smiling into my neck, collapsing on top of me.
Both of us sucking in much needed breath.
He lifts only enough for us to rearrange, collecting me in his arms. He holds me tight. Face buried my neck. I cling to him, needing his weight and hold.
I come down slowly, and reality begins to seep in.
What did I let him do?
I wanted it. I told him I did. Just like that.
And I know I’m forever changed after allowing it. I can’t go back to who I was before him now that he’s possessed me.
I start to shiver before realizing I’m cold. He pulls my clothes back into place, then covers us with a space blanket he pulls out of a pocket.
I can’t allow myself to overthink it. It felt too good to now pick apart. Even if it means something about my view of myself has to fundamentally change. I can’t do it tonight. I’ll allow myself to process it tomorrow. Tonight I want to live in delusion in a world with him.
He holds me just as tight and I give over to it.
I doze a little, wrapped in his warmth.
But my mind won’t fully shut off. He’s caught me, but they never said we can’t escape. Only that we need to survive until dawn.
I need to get away.