Chapter 47
The scalding hot shower did nothing to numb Vega from the memory of the voices in her head.
The electric current inside her body buzzed, making her skin so hot the water practically matched the temperature of her blood.
She hadn’t dreamed last night—or fallen into the pit of her mind. She’d been able to stay on the outside, for the most part.
Death helped keep the whispering voices at bay, guarding Vega’s mind while she tried to rest.
Eventually, the gods slowly dragged her out of the depths of sleep with their chatter. She could hear them calling to her, longing for Vega to join them again.
They told her they just wanted to talk—they knew a way to save her from her destiny.
When awake, Vega could hold her shields, blocking the place they lived from existing, but when she slept, they could sneak their way to the top, calling her down to them.
Death could stop them, but Death couldn’t stop Vega. Sometimes, the voices of the gods got too strong, and she tumbled to the depths of her own mind, falling for their allure.
Bridger eventually joined her, and they stayed in the shower until the water ran cold.
Leaving the bathroom, Vega expected to be met with the chill accompanying Vincere. The desert surrounding them could be unbearable at certain times of the year, but with how far down into the core of their realm they were, the heat couldn’t reach them.
If Vega closed her eyes, she could almost convince herself she was in Castra.
A sharp pang of sadness washed over her for the home they’d lost. She knew deep down it wouldn’t have been a big enough facility to house as many people as they had now, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less when hundreds of innocents lost their lives.
Vega was surprised to be met with a toasty warm bedroom, heat pouring out of a small space heater roaring in the corner.
It wasn’t an electric one she’d become used to on Earth—it was the good old-fashioned Tolevarrian kind with a live flame in the belly. The glow of the fire flickered against the tempered glass, casting shadows across Bridger’s room.
She smiled. Their clothing was still strewn across the floor, and a couple empty glasses littered the nightstand. The room was small, but bigger than the others Vega had seen by at least double.
Perks of being commander? A room double the size of a walk-in closet with the tiniest bathroom she’d ever seen. The bed was pushed against the wall, but Vega would admit: it was the most comfortable fucking bed she’d ever slept in.
All this time, Vega had pictured Bridger living it up, lapping up the luxuries of being commander of Tolevarre… when really, he was using whatever he had to put back into the army with new training facilities and state-of-the-art equipment.
Wait a second.
She turned around to find Bridger leaning against the bathroom doorframe with his towel wrapped loosely around his hips. He brushed his teeth, looking as relaxed as he would if this were just any other day and not the day they claimed Ardor and infiltrated the mines.
“When did you start building Vincere?” Vega asked, holding her towel tight with one arm.
Instead of talking around a toothbrush with a mouth full of toothpaste, he replied down the bond. “Thirty-nine years ago.”
A year after he left. “Why didn’t you put the upgrades into Atrox?”
“Did you forget I burned the Dimico Manor to the ground after Marlena killed you in your second life? I couldn’t really live there.”
His answers weren’t what Vega was getting at. “You could have easily rebuilt or moved into the commander’s wing of Atrox’s fort. Much easier than building all of this.”
He returned to the bathroom, finished brushing his teeth, and came back out. Vega stole a glance at the deliciously low towel once more but quickly reminded herself she had a point with all this.
“I didn’t want to live in Fortis anymore… especially not in Atrox with my mother after she became praefectus,” he answered plainly.
Vega knew there was more to it than that.
“But by building Vincere, you separated the military into two. Why?” She wanted to hear him say the words without having to coax them out.
“Where are you getting at with this? Ask me what you want to know.” Bridger opened the armoire in the corner, grabbing two black battle suits. He tossed one at Vega, who caught it with her free hand.
“Did you build Vincere in hopes that one day you’d need a base away from Marlena?” she asked.
“Yes,” he responded immediately. “One of the biggest issues with the start of our rebellion was how fucking unprepared we were. I knew if something else were to happen, whether it be because of you or not, when I turned on Marlena, because I knew I would one day, I needed a place to go, a place to be prepared to fight from.”
He was calculated, always thinking about what needed to come next. It was why the beginning stages of the rebellion were hard for him—there was no way to prepare for anything.
“I watched her ruin families for fun, starve entire villages because one person messed up… and I couldn’t do anything to stop it, but if they got to me, to Vincere, I could save them.
This isn’t just a place for people to train and hide from Marlena.
It’s the only home some have ever had.” Bridger walked to her, resting his hand on the small of her back to pull them together.
He tucked Vega’s hair behind her ear. “You ready for today?”
Vega nodded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” She was still trying to figure out how to cope with everything. How do you prepare for the inevitable?
Death stirred, stretching awake with a yawn. Its nails dug into the edges of the pit, knocking a few loose rocks down into the abyss.
The sound of them hitting the ground never came, as if they floated inside the darkness forever.
They dressed quickly, ready to meet the others for today’s briefing. Vega ran her hands down what was no doubt the nicest suit she’d ever worn. When she turned in the dim lighting of Bridger’s room, she caught the black lightning bolts traveling up her sides.
She traced the stitching with delicate fingers, smiling absently while Bridger pulled what looked like every weapon he owned out of a hidden safe in his wall.
“When did you have this made?” Vega asked, watching Bridger approach behind her in the mirror, sliding his bonded sword into the scabbard on his back.
“Before I went to Earth. I figured you’d like one that paid homage to the original.” The one Bridger had made for her when they first started training—thanks to Marlena. The same one Arlet and Khort had tried to mimic for her in her last life.
Vega strapped her own daggers to her legs, hoping she didn’t have to use any today. There was still hope this wouldn’t turn into a battle scene—that they could take Ardor peacefully… but when had they ever gotten that lucky?
Marlena would show. She was going to be wherever Vega was, especially after she’d taken her fire.
“I love it,” she said, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “The new boots are comfy too, I guess,” Vega added with a playful eye roll and pucker of her lips.
Vincere was booming with activity as soon as they stepped into the halls. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits despite the day ahead—Arlet and Khort included.
They ran into them waiting for the elevator, and Arlet threw an arm over Vega’s shoulder. “I knew our time as roomies wouldn’t last long,” she whispered into Vega’s ear. “Did you make him beg?” A devious smile pulled at Arlet’s lips, her eyebrows wiggling.
Death didn’t react to the touch of Arlet like it did to Bridger, but it did perk up like it remembered it should be curious about the bond.
Before Vega would let it reach out and grab at anything, she pulled away and gave Arlet a look that said, Really? Now wasn’t the time for this conversation or for snooping.
The people of Tolevarre had advantages their human ancestors would have killed for, making her whispers basically pointless. Bridger fought at a smile as the elevator door opened, and Khort pretended to be really interested in a spot on the wall.
Vega’s stomach dropped as they stepped inside the tiny elevator, and it wasn’t because of the elevator this time. Vega knew she was breaking a part of Khort all over again by choosing Bridger… for a second time. She had to talk to him about it but reminded herself to take one thing at a time.
Her relationship status took the back burner on the list of things to do today. The most important thing was getting everyone out of the mines safely, followed by not starting a full-on battle in Ustilo.
The second the elevator doors shut, the tension was too thick to ignore. Vega felt like she might break out into a nervous sweat if she let the thick tension grow.
They couldn’t go into today with a divide. This conversation couldn’t wait—not when the lives of their people depended on them working as a unit.
Vega slapped the Emergency Stop button and spun around, standing in front of the closed doors. So much for not making a thing out of this today…
“Bridger and I are back together.” She spit out the words like they were fire threatening to scorch her.
Vega didn’t focus on the open doorway connecting to Bridger’s mind.
She pushed the love she felt for her lifelong best friends and hurled it down the hallways of her mind at them.
They might not be able to talk to her like Bridger, but they could feel her…
“And I can live with you both questioning why I would ever do that, but I can’t bear to live without my best friends.
My family.” Her eyes jumped between Arlet and Khort.
Khort’s features softened, giving Vega the courage to keep going.
“I’ll never be able to thank you both enough for everything you’ve given up for me.
Words cannot express how lucky I am to have you two, but we all made a decision the night of the summoning.
” Vega didn’t let her mind settle too long on the words she’d said that night, or the things she’d asked for.
It would only lead her down a road she couldn’t afford to go right now.
She had to keep her head on straight. She couldn’t change the past.
“Regardless of what’s happened since, we’re in this together.
The four of us. No more blocking each other out.
” She shot a look at Bridger, who’d been using his powers to ignore the bond for nearly forty years.
“No more jealousy.” Vega’s gaze moved to Khort, who had his arms crossed, looking down his nose at her.
“I love you, Khort, but I’ve never been the girl for you, with or without Bridger in the picture.
I hate that you’ve spent all of your life wishing I could be.
I’m sorry for the role I’ve played, and for giving you hope in my last life that something could ever come of us, but I have a feeling you know it wouldn’t work.
” Before she could see the hurt in his eyes, Vega turned to Arlet. “And you…”
What could Vega even say to Arlet? To the girl who’d saved her life more times than she could count.
“I don’t know what I did in life to deserve a friend like you,” Vega finally said.
“You’re my sister in every way that matters.
You’re brilliant, fierce, and deserve so much more than this life has given you.
” Vega refused to cry, refused to make this a goodbye.
There had already been too many in her life.
“The next time you fall in love, I want to know all about it. I want to celebrate with you.” Part of Vega had this sinking feeling, this surety in her gut she wouldn’t live long enough to see it, but the other part still prayed she was wrong…
that she’d live to see her best friends happy again. “Okay?”
Death sat by the pit, head hanging down like it, too, worried about her fate—their fate. Our fate. It chattered, teeth clacking in agreement.
Arlet nodded, a sad smile pulling at the corner of her lips. “I love you,” she said, snatching Vega into a hug she hadn’t known she needed.
Vega breathed in Arlet’s honey scent, closing her eyes to lose herself in a different time. When she pulled away, Arlet had tears to wipe off her cheeks.
Khort reached for Vega next and wrapped her in a hug. “Please don’t hate me,” she said against his chest.
“I could never,” he whispered against the top of her head.
She took a deep breath, stepped out of Khort’s arms, and turned to Bridger. “Okay, I think we’re ready now.”
Bridger reached out and caressed her cheek, rubbing his thumb against her soft skin. He didn’t say anything, because he didn’t need to. Vega knew what he’d say.
I love you.