The Agent
I’m becoming too comfortable in the shadows.
As I sat on the couch, drenched in the darkness of the living room, I didn’t feel an ounce of fear or worry. If anything I felt safe, protected in this black cocoon. I worried more about what was going to happen once it cracked open.
This house, though familiar and filled with warm memories, was the last place I was supposed to be. But, I couldn’t convince myself to stay away. Not after the night of our botched mission.
Mateo was already upset enough with me, so I slipped out without telling him or Maria.
When she’d left to check on him, it seemed like the perfect window of opportunity to sneak away.
I’d quickly stuffed some clothes and money into a duffel bag before taking my exit through one of the side doors.
Was I digging an even deeper hole for myself by leaving? Probably. Did I care? No.
Mateo didn’t have to understand every move I made.
Hell, he didn’t even have to respect them.
But, he needed to trust me. Since he clearly didn’t, I needed to stop asking for permission and take matters into my own hands.
I could handle myself just fine before him - and I’d do just as well without him.
Lights flashed against the curtains, accompanied with the soft purr of an engine.
I sucked in a breath as my stomach tightened and doubts rushed through my head. It’s fine, I told myself. You’ll be fine.
The locks on the front door clicked before it slowly creaked open.
Soft steps pattered against the wooden floor, and keys clattered against the small table in the entry hall.
A tiny hiss echoed through the silence as the steps continued forward, a silhouette appearing in the doorway.
The frame of its shoulders moved as they rolled them, likely still sore from bruises leftover from the other night.
An arm reached across the wall and flicked on the lights.
“Holy shit!” Gabriel yelled, damn near jumping out of his skin at the sight of me. “What the fuck?” He reached for his gun, still tucked in the holster on his hip.
“Wait!” I exclaimed, holding up my hands. “Gabe, it’s me! It’s Simone!”
He freed his gun and pointed it at me. “You’re a liar! Simone is dead!”
I shook my head. “No, I’m not! I can prove it! Just…just put the gun down.”
“I’m not putting shit down until I know who the fuck you are and why you’re in my fucking house.”
“My name is Simone Nichols, and I’m here to talk to you about what happened the other night.”
His brows came together. “You were there? No, you…you couldn’t be. Simone would never associate herself with a murderer. She’d never-”
“Back then, I never would. But, now…” I lowered my eyes. “Things are different.”
“No.” Moisture glossed over his eyes. “No, you’re not Simone. She died. I know she did. I helped lower her casket into the ground.”
“Did you ever see the body?”
He blinked, freeing one of the tears. “They…they couldn’t preserve it because of the…because of the explosion and the fire and…”
I slowly rose from my seat. “They lied, Gabriel. I didn’t die. I’m right here.”
“I don’t… I don’t believe you. Simone…Simone would never leave me like that.”
“I’m here now, aren’t I?” I took a few steps towards him. “Gabe, it's me. I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m here…I’m alive.”
He flicked the security latch off his gun. “Prove it.”
Nodding, I pushed the top of my sleeve off of my shoulder.
I turned slightly to show him the tiny angel wings tattooed on the back of my right shoulder.
Isabelle had an identical tattoo on the back of her left shoulder.
Memorials for our deceased parents we’d gotten one night when we were drunk and sad.
His face crumbled at the sight. “Simone,” he whispered, more tears falling from his eyes.
“Yeah.” I lay a hand on the mouth of his gun, pushing it down. “I’m here.”
He stared at me for a moment, taking me in and counting all the differences since the last time he’d seen me. “Oh my god,” he whispered. He flicked the latch off his gun and tossed it on the ground.
I almost yelped as he gripped my arms and flung me against his chest.
Squeezing me too tight for comfort, he buried his face in my short hair and sobbed. “You’re here,” he croaked. “You’re really here.”
I melted into his embrace, savoring the security of his arms around me. It’s been so long since I’ve had one of his hugs. I’d almost forgotten how much healing I often did in them. “God, I missed you,” I whispered, some of the tears I’ve been holding back slipping out from the prison.
“I missed you too.” He kissed my head. “More than you can imagine.”
We stayed like this, holding each other and crying, for what felt like minutes, but was probably much longer.
By the time we finally pulled away, both of our cheeks were drenched from tears and our eyes were bloodshot.
We shared a laugh as we raised our hands and wiped the others' tears at the same time. Still in sync after all this time.
“Where have you been?” Gabriel asked. He glanced over my body. “Have you been eating? You look thinner. I can make you something.”
“One of your famous quesadillas would actually be really nice right now.”
Gabriel grinned. “Ah, La Casa de Gabriel is always open for you, senorita.”
I couldn’t help but smile as he tugged me into the kitchen.
He made me sit down and sip on a glass of water while he bustled around the kitchen to make our food.
I nearly moaned as I bit into the crispy tortilla placed in front of me. Though simple, the combination of chicken, cheese, salsa and sour cream never failed to hit the spot.
“Is it good?” Gabriel asked.
I nodded. “Tastes like home.”
He nodded, his smile dimming. “Where have you been, Simone?”
“Traveling,” I said with a shrug.
“I’m serious. Where did you go? Why haven’t you come back until now?”
“Would you believe me if I told you?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
I swallowed my bite. “Logan…he…he tried to kill me.”
Scoffing, Gabriel grabbed his glass and brought it to his lips. “What? No. Why would he do that?”
“Because he killed my father.”
He froze, choking on his sip. “What?” He asked between coughs. “But weren’t…weren’t they friends? Why would Logan do that?”
“Because my father found out he was running with a band of corrupt agents, so he silenced him before he could do something about it.”
“Wait, wait, wait, I feel like I’m missing a lot of chapters. Logan was doing what now?”
I dug through my bag for the letter and documents my father had given me. I had a feeling I’d need them. “Here,” I said, holding the folder out to him. “See for yourself.”
Gabriel stared at me for a moment, hesitant to take the papers. Slowly, his eyes ran over the words on the page. With every word, his jaw fell lower and lower. “What the fuck,” he muttered as he finished the handwritten letter and flipped through the evidence my father gathered.
“There’s more where that came from,” I said. “I’ve been compiling piles of proof of the agency’s corruption. Shit went so deep even the head of the brass was involved.”
“Jesus,” he muttered. He paused on one paper, his eyes lingering on the list of names on the documents. “Wait, some of these are the agents who were murdered recently.” His eyes shot up to me. “Are you the one behind them?”
“Possibly.”
“Simone, what the fuck!” He yelled, recoiling in disgust. “You took an oath! You swore to serve and protect!”
“Yeah, so did they. Yet, they still killed my father and God knows how many other people to keep their wrongdoings secret. They’re not innocent, Gabriel.”
“Doesn’t mean you take away their right to a fair trial.”
“Nothing in this system is fair,” I snapped. “With the way they’re pulling the strings, none of this would even make it to trial.”
“So what? You’re just gonna play judge, jury and executioner?”
“Why not? They did.”
“Don’t you want to be better than them?”
“No,” I said without hesitation. “I want them to burn in Hell.”
“Damn,” Gabriel sighed, falling back in his chair. “The Simone I knew would’ve never stooped to their level.”
“Well, I’m not the woman I used to be.”
“I see,” he murmured. “So, what are you telling me all this for?”
“Because the other night scared the shit out of me.”
His brows pinched. “Wait, that was really you? You’re riding with him? Simone, are you out of your mind?”
“When everything with Logan went down, he was the only one I could trust.”
“You could’ve trusted me.”
I frowned. “I know. I’m sorry. At the time, I was just so scared - so paranoid, and I just…I clung to what I thought was my safest option. The world thought I was dead, so I thought it’d be best if I stayed that way.”
“Best for who? Because none of us have been doing well since you died. Your mother’s been drinking like a fish. I can’t keep a partner to save my life at work. And Isabelle…her light still hasn’t come back.”
My eyes misted at his words. I didn’t mean to cause my loved ones so much harm by staying away. I was just doing what I thought was best for them. I thought I was protecting them.
Gabriel sighed. “Are you at least going to tell them once this is all over?”
“I can’t,” I murmured. “They’ll have too many questions, most of which I won’t be able to answer. They deserve better than that.”
“So what’s the alternative? You’re gonna stay with him?”
“Yeah. I know this is gonna sound crazy considering how our relationship started, but he’s a good man; he just hides it underneath all the crimes he commits.
” I looked down. “He’s pissed we left you alive the other night.
Hell, he’s probably losing his mind since I left without telling him.
He might actually kill me this time around. ”
Gabriel didn’t laugh at my joke. “So, what happens next? Now, that I know.”
“You’ll take some time off. Distance yourself from Logan. Once we find out where he’s really hiding, it won’t be long before he’s dead.”
“Then what? I never see you again?”
“Unfortunately, yes. Rising from the dead isn’t an option - not after the things I’ve done.”
He pressed his lips together, contemplating his words before he said them. “What if I helped you?”
“What? No! I’m not pulling you into this!”
“I’m the only one who can get you intel on Logan. Since you’ve been ‘dead,’ he’s taken me in on some mentor bullshit. He trusts me.”
“But, I don’t want his death falling back on you.”
“It won’t so long as you do your job right. I mean, they haven’t traced any of the other deaths back to you. I doubt they’ll connect this one.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you feeling like you have to get your hands dirty for me.”
“From the sounds of it, the department has tons of those. What’s an extra set?”
Smiling, I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight. “Thank you,” I whispered into his shoulder.
His arms wound around me. “I lost you once,” he said, squeezing tight. “I’m not losing you again.”