86. Violette
VIOLETTE
My senses are truly overwhelmed. Is this how royalty lives?
Is this how my father lives? With constant attention, praise, devotion, and worship?
It’s intoxicating. By the time the evening rolls around, I have to beg them to stop feeding, massaging, giving me orgasms, doting, and waiting on me hand and foot.
I feel glutted from receiving so much, and a little restless.
Not to mention, I’m all too aware of what looms ahead.
Not merely the murder of my father, and Levi’s unnamed nemesis—and Akash only knows who or what Azrael’s enemy is—but survival.
It’s going to be a bitter contrast to go from pampering to...
surviving together in the wilderness. Half of me is dreading it, the other half just wants to get it over with.
The three of us are sitting nude in a hot tub on the heated deck overlooking the valley—my body draped over and held by both Levi and Azrael. It’s a level of attention I’m not entirely sure I’ll ever get used to.
I feel a little guilty ruining this peaceful moment, but I can’t seem to stop myself.
“Shall we begin the survival stage tomorrow?”
Stolen from his lost thoughts, Azrael’s gaze wanders from the view to meet mine. “It seems a little soon, no? We’ve only pampered you for a day.”
I heave a contented sigh. “Darling, I fear if I’m given anymore pampering, I’m going to lose my mind.”
Azrael smirks, but doesn’t argue.
Levi studies us, the interaction, eye bouncing between the two of us.
“What exactly does it entail?”
I nearly groan.
I am not looking forward to this.
“Essentially, we have to survive the wild for three days together. No magic is allowed, nor is the use of animal forms, or bestial extremities—wings, etc. We have to rely solely on our non-magical, non-bestial skills, and most importantly, one another. The only things we’re allowed to bring with us are the clothes on our backs, weapons for protection, and a few basic implements that can fit in our pockets. ”
Levi gives a thoughtful huff. “Sounds like SERE school. Minus the weapons.”
I arch an eyebrow at him. “Which is?”
“Stands for survive, evade, resist, and escape. It’s part of spec ops military training where they dump you in the middle of nowhere, and you have to survive... to then later be captured. And then tortured, both physically and psychologically. And finally, escape.”
Azrael’s brows rise as he gives a nod of ascent. “Kinky.”
My guts clench trying to imagine such a thing. “So it’s an actual nightmare.”
Levi chuckles. “It wasn’t so bad. Depends on the person, I guess. Some of the guys in there were sobbing only halfway through, while others took it like water off a duck’s back.”
Intuitively, I already know the answer, but I can’t help but ask anyway. “And which category did you fall into?”
He smirks, giving me a look that says, Do you really have to ask? “The latter.”
It’s impossible not to admire this man. My toes nudge themselves into the palm of his hand, encouraging him to continue stroking the top of my legs. “And what do you think made the biggest difference?”
“Not to take it so personally, I guess. Or so seriously. Even though we’re simulating something that could mean life or death for you and your whole team, and potentially countless others...
You can’t allow yourself to become emotionally attached to it on that same level, if that makes sense?
If so, I think everyone would be wheeled out of there on a gurney.
You have to make light of it, no matter how much it sucks, how hungry you are, how badly it hurts, or how incredibly uncomfortable you are. Mental fortitude, in a nutshell.”
Azrael and I remain silent, giving him the time and space to continue. Levi eventually chuckles, and that chuckle turns into full-body laughter that has all three of us giggling.
“Oh my gods, say it!” I urge him. “What are we laughing at?”
Levi’s laughter only intensifies until he’s wiping rogue tears from his eyes. My heart feels like it could explode from the dose of joy that witnessing his unrestrained laughter gives me.
When his laughter finally wanes, he sighs a deep breath to gather himself. “So... the training grounds where they dumped us at—me and a handful of other guys, one of whom was Gideon?—”
My grin widens with excitement at this story. The fact that Azrael and I actually know Gideon makes it that much better.
“The climate is... well, hot. It’s hot, it’s humid, and there are so many fucking bugs—it’s maddening. Especially the ticks…”
I internally gag. “I wouldn’t last five minutes out there.”
Levi smirks. “I actually think you’d be a champ, princess.” Wearing a wistful expression, he rubs the top of my thigh as he continues.
“Every morning, we had to do a tick check where we’d have to strip down and check our crevices.”
Laughter bubbles out of me. “Ewwwww.”
“Let’s just say that I’ve seen Gideon’s asshole on more occasions than I care to admit. And vice versa.”
I muffle my gasp with my hand. “Oh my gods, nooooo. You would get ticks on your asshole?”
Levi’s head tips back with a deep bark of laughter. “Not on our assholes, but close enough. Ticks love to burrow and hide, and I’m pretty sure an asscrack is their favorite place in the whole world.”
My asshole clenches from just imagining it. “Akash almighty. I’d be done after the first night.”
Levi chuckles. “It’s a miracle we didn’t get Lyme Disease.”
I have no idea what that is, but gather it’s for the better.
“Do they have ticks here in the Catskills?”
Levi gives me a sympathetic look. “Without a doubt.”
My mouth pops open. “Nope. Call it off. We’re not doing it. Azrael, I’m sorry I can’t. I know we said we’d complete every ritual, but I think I’d rather die than have to let you two check my crevices and pick bugs from my asshole.”
Azrael chuckles, shaking his head. “Surely, there’s another, more merciful forest we can survive. We don’t have to do it here.”
Selcarim.
The singular word is whispered within my mind.
My home.
If I ever want to confront my father and find a way into Sinsól, his city beneath the sea—just off the Selcarimi coast—I would have to start there.
Mere seconds have passed, and already a path is illuminating in my mind’s eye—complete the survival ritual in the Selcarimi Mountains where my mother’s people are from, and make our way down to the coast nearest my father’s city beneath the sea—Sinsól.
My plan dissolves from there, but some little flickering flame of promise has already been ignited—and refuses to be snuffed out by doubt.
Unless you’re from Selcarim, the entire province is warded against anyone folding or portaling to and from that slivered edge of the Atratusian continent guarded by mountains.
Well... everyone except Azrael, and what few other gods whose power supersedes that of the wards, it would seem.
Sinsól presents even more of a challenge. No one can enter without my father’s permission. Though if he can enter Selcarim, perhaps he would be able to similarly breach Sinsól’s wards.
It’s an impulsive and likely dangerous suggestion, and certainly less merciful than the wilderness here in Terrenea.
Before arriving, I would need to exchange blood with Levi—Selcarim is no place for humans. The evidence of which you can find in its streets. Humans are few and far between—and almost always slaves or servants.
My heart was set on performing the courtship rituals in order, but... who’s to judge?
The mere idea of going to Selcarim causes my heart to stutter. As though it will alter the course of our lives.
The question is spoken softly as my gaze slides to Azrael.
“When was the last time you were in Selcarim?”
His brows lift. “Not since I last saw you there.”
My thoughts whir. “Do you still have your estate there?”
Azrael nods. “Of course.”
Levi’s brows narrow with question. “How did you two meet?”
Azrael’s lip curls at the memory. “Through a vile former acquaintance.”
I remain silent, not wanting to ruin the present by dredging up the past. Levi’s gaze becomes penetrative, but he doesn’t push.
There’s a question in Azrael’s expression as if to say, How did it end between you two?
, but when I don’t volunteer any information, he simply gives my thigh a comforting squeeze.
“How would you feel about performing the survival ritual in the Selcarimi Mountains?”
Azrael hesitates briefly. “Do you have family there?”
The ghost of shame whispers through me. “None that I know…” And I am desperate for it to leave me. “I need to visit my father.”
By visit, I obviously mean kill.
Azrael’s brows knit together. “Would you mind divulging what your relationship is like with him? And what would be the purpose of our visit to him?”
I’m somewhat surprised he even needs to ask. I arch a brow.
“I’d assumed you’d used your power to peruse my past after we met.”
Azrael’s brows leap halfway up his forehead. “I’m not sure whether or not to be insulted by that, darling. I would never invade your privacy in such a way.”
Oh.
I suppose not. When Queen Theia searched my memories, it was a violent experience. I’m not sure why I assumed it would be any different with him.
“I guess I just assumed it would be easy for you to do—like you did with those humans.”
Azrael chuckles like the comparison is preposterous.
“Easy, certainly. As a god of death, I don’t have to exert my will to be aware of things such as one’s biological health, mental state, the evolution of their soul, their longings.
Just as obvious as the colour of one’s hair, all the information is already there to be observed within the subtle frequency of their life force energies.
Most beings are simply unable to perceive it because they have not harnessed their power to do so.
And discerning someone’s name, magical gifts, and ancestry is scarcely beyond that.
Which is why I’m one of the exceedingly few people beyond this room that knows your father’s name.
“But to peer into someone’s past is an abrasive and cruel torture I would only ever subject my enemies to.
Not to mention, those humans wouldn’t recognize magic if it punched them in the face, and I didn’t pry beyond a few random facts—whatever is most prominent in their mind, like their fears—those slippery steps that whatshisfuck risks his life on every time he leaves the house.
If I had probed any further, they probably would have bled from their eyes. It is a brutal tactic. ”
I see.
“Well... I don’t have a relationship with my father; haven’t seen him since I was young. Before my mother died.”
Levi’s thumb strokes the flesh of my waist as he gives me a gentle squeeze. Azrael’s expression tightens with sympathy, and I can’t help but wonder who and where his parents are.
Does a god of death even have parents?
“And as you’re aware, my father has wreaked havoc upon Bellorum, waging a futile war…” My gaze searches his. “Among other things…”
Azrael arches a brow for me to continue.
“I take it you also understand the depth to which he controls people? Manipulates them? The suffering he inflicts upon them and their loved ones to do so?”
Azrael gives a subtle nod. “Only by what I’d observed from the outside. I prefer not to develop relationships of any kind with people of a sinister nature. Nor the people they surround themselves with.”
This leaves me with so many questions. Particularly what was the nature of his relationship to Lucen. Was it merely to sever Lucen’s soulbond? Or were they ‘colleagues’ beyond that?
I find that, at this particular moment, I am unable to muster the desire for our conversation to further descend into such grave topics.
A few moments pass, laden with the uncomfortable tension of everything not being spoken. It makes my skin feel tight. My chest heavy. And I am desperate to shift subjects.
My gaze slides to Levi; quiet, observant.
“Would you mind if we performed the survival ritual in Selcarim? I know it’s unfamiliar territory?—”
Levi replies as if he can’t speak the words fast enough.
“Fuck yes.”
I permit myself a tiny grin. Even if my heart is already pounding.
“We would need to perform the blood exchange beforehand.”
A grin spreads across Levi’s face—the kind that never fails to steal the breath from my lungs. A small smile curls Azrael’s mask of calm, telling me he’s just as excited as I am.
“I’m ready when you are, princess.”
My tone is measured, despite the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
“You will need some time to rest and adjust before we leave, so the sooner the better.”
Levi nods in affirmation.
“We can do this right here, right now, if you want.”
I grimace. “Well, things can get a little... messy. Perhaps we should take it to the bedroom, lest we defile our host’s hot tub with our fluids.”