92. Levi
LEVI
The front door shuts behind me with a click. My heartbeat is a steady thump, but I can feel the effects of cortisol trickling in. With a relaxed gait, Azrael strides out towards the treeline—away from the gravel and earshot of Violette. I follow him.
Even after drinking Violette’s blood, I’m still a few inches shorter than him, but am slightly broader. He stops at the edge of the forest, turning to face me. “Shall I hold back?”
A bark of surprised laughter rumbles out of me. “How about you don’t hold back, and I won’t use any weapons or magic? Sound fair?”
Azrael chuckles. “You’re an absolute delight.”
He patiently awaits my approach, looking me up and down as he licks a single fang. If I weren’t so angry and disappointed, the sight might have thickened my cock…
Said appendage twitches its disagreement.
Apparently, my cock doesn’t care about my resentments because it’s already half-chubbed.
Azrael flashes me a grin and, for the first time, I get a glimpse of what might be the blood-thirsty monster leashed beneath his charming facade.
“Oh, is that for me?”
“Fuck you.”
His grin widens, his stance following suit. “Do you promise?”
As soon as I’m within half a body’s length away, I dive forward, feinting right. Azrael anticipates it, sidestepping, but my arms swing wide to collect his waist. Driving my shoulder into his diaphragm, his body hits the ground beneath us with a thud, and the air wheezes from his lungs.
“Fuck me, you weigh as much as the godsdamned Titanic.”
My voice is reduced to a snarl. “Duplicitous fucking snake.”
We scramble for dominance, but I succeed in mounting him—my legs splayed across his waist—as my fist connects with his face. A sickening crunch follows, followed by another. Somehow, despite the pain, he’s able to bridge his body and reverse our positions before I can land a third.
The sight of his balled fist eclipses his bloody grin. Repeatedly. Our combined blood and sweat make his forearms impossibly slippery, but thanks to my new claws, I’m able to grasp them and lift my hips to sweep him beneath me again.
Azrael hisses in pain. “Ow, you fucking cunt!”
With my hips between his, we continue to scramble and throw punches while hurling just as many insults and threats.
“I’m going to fucking kill you—again!”
“I should tear your head off—see how you fucking like it!”
“I welcome you?—”
THWACK.
“—to try.”
CRUNCH.
“Maybe I?—”
OOMPH.
“—will! And then.”
WHEEZE.
“—I’ll dance on your fucking corpse.”
His hands close around my neck just as mine close around his.
My words come out a wet rasp. “I fucking... hate you.”
Pain felt more deeply than anything I’ve physically inflicted on him shudders his swollen, bloodshot eyes. His grip on my throat loosens.
“I’m sorry.”
Remorse and heartbreak are quick to overcome me. My grip loosens. His falls. Mine follows. We separate, coughing and wheezing, as we roll over and struggle to replenish our lungs.
Lying flat on my back, I stare up at the partly cloudy morning sky. Tears burn my eyes despite nearly being swollen shut.
The first tear slips out, sliding down my temple and into my hairline. I can only pray it blends in with the blood, but I’m beyond holding them back. I feel like these tears have been building for the last twenty years. And who am I to deny them relief?
Azrael’s voice is rough. “I’m sorry, Levi…”
My chin wobbles, but I manage to keep my voice steady. “Tell that to Violette.”
A few moments of silence pass. Drawing in a deep breath, I close my eyes as tears continue to slip through the gates, and I focus on the chill late-fall winds passing over us.
“May I explain? Please?”
Heaving a sigh, I give an absent shake of my head.
“Life is painful. I get it. I cannot fathom living as long as you have, nor all of the heartbreak you’ve endured because of it.
The responsibility of being a god of death.
Having to watch everyone you love die. Before Violette, the only two people I’ve ever loved died, followed by numerous friends and colleagues in the military, and I swore to myself I would never allow myself to be as vulnerable.
So after experiencing it in perpetuity...
I cannot blame you for wanting to die. It only took me two decades. ”
My eyes have finally stopped leaking, and the swelling around my eyes has lessened. I turn my head to look over at him.
“But it only took a moment for me to find a reason not to.”
Violette.
You.
My heart clenches.
It’s all temporary for him.
One day, Violette and I will die together, hopefully in the exact same moment, but he will have to continue without us. And there’s nothing I can do or say to change that.
Head still turned towards me, tears carve a river through the crusted blood on his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, and down his temple.
“I love what you both have. So very much. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Being near you makes me feel like I’m part of it, even if only for a fleeting, delusional moment. The fact that you both are so incredibly easy to fall in love with only makes it all the harder to resist.”
The corners of his lips tug downwards. “I never intended to hurt you or Violette.”
The stinging in my eyes returns, and I’m forced to look away. “But you knew that you would. How could you not?”
Azrael remains silent for several moments. The sound of his throat working around a wet knot of emotion is loud even when muffled by the wind.
“I never thought either of you would develop any feelings for me.”
I can’t help but give a derisive scoff. “Yeah. Okay.”
“Why would you? I didn’t sever the bond. I was just a thorn in your side, and the competition that would inspire you to work that much harder for her. To cherish her... But how could I possibly compete with what you two have? Even if she did inspire me to try my damndest…”
The fist closing around my heart squeezes tighter, pushing more emotion, more tears to the surface.
Does he really think so little of himself?
Lying only a foot away, my hand wanders towards him. My fingers graze the back of his. A gentle warning before my hand steals his. Azrael’s grip is quick to firm around mine. He releases a shuddering breath, voice wobbling.
“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?”
“Yes... But I can’t promise you’ll be forgiven and unscathed.”
Azrael chuckles. “She’s so perfect.”
A grin tilts my lips. “She really is.”
My grin fades, dimmed by the reality of our situation.
“She will want to convince you to stay.”
I want to convince you to stay.
His head turns back towards mine. “She’s already alluded to as much when I experienced a moment of loose-lipped weakness... She’s impossible to deny. I don’t have the strength to stop her from trying. ”
A bittersweet emotion that seems to say, I won’t stop you from trying, alights his features.
I squeeze his hand in affirmation as the tiniest flicker of hope flares to life.
Our gazes return to the sky. For long, quiet moments, we lie there watching the clouds drift and transform before dissipating, only to cluster together again and re-form.
So very much like the nature of life, death, and reincarnation.