143. Lazarus
LAZARUS
Ashaded bench beneath a wall of enormous rose bushes provides a view to a teary-eyed Violette, and a lovesick Levi.
Lovesick as in... he’s actually revealing that surprisingly boyish and warm grin of his, because truly only love could make such a monster of a male turn boyish.
The longing I feel at the sight of it makes me realize that I do indeed want him to look at me like that.
That I want to be the person that can soften his rough exterior.
Inspire him and make him feel safe and loved enough to give me such a gift.
As if the very thought has summoned him, his gaze meets mine from over Violette’s head. Something in my chest pinches tight, and my stomach gives a little leap in response. His boyish grin falters as though having been caught, and I realize I’m staring blankly at him.
Smile, you fool.
Nerves make the expression tight. Restrained.
Fuck, I’ve ruined it.
Levi straightens, saying something to Azrael and Violette. They both turn to look at me.
Oh, fuck.
Where’s the nearest cliff?
I need to fling myself off of it.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Levi’s long, muscled legs eat up the distance between us—and with it, the air in my lungs.
I straighten in my seat, arm draped over the back of the bench, one ankle resting atop the opposite knee. Be cool.
The rhythm of my heart seems to beat out a reply that says, you-are-a-fuck-king-id-iot.
Levi stops in front of me. A beam of sunlight further illuminates the green of his hooded eyes as he looks down at me. “You alright?”
A bead of sweat trickles down the column of my spine.
Not at all, thanks.
“Of course. Why do you ask?”
Brows knitting in the brightness of the sun, Levi’s broad shoulders briefly lift. “Because I know what it’s like to be a wallflower, I guess.”
My throat dips as my nervousness increases.
Our silence grows awkward.
Say something, a voice in my mind internally growls.
I gesture limply at the open spot beside me on the bench. “Care to join me?”
Levi looks mildly relieved as he accepts.
It’s only then that I realize this bench was clearly made for humans. The side of Levi’s thigh is forced to press against mine as he leans back... and my arm is inadvertently draped behind him. Folding his arms ensures one tricep and elbow are nuzzled against my ribcage.
The silence that lingers however is slightly less uncomfortable.
“I wrote a poem for you.”
Already stunned, I trip over the word poem. A poem? Not a riddle?
Levi’s cheeks redden, and he chews his cheeks at the admission. Amidst my surprise, a sudden pitter patter of emotion squeezes my chest. It takes everything within me not to drag his big body against mine and kiss him. “You did?”
He gives a sheepish nod, not daring to meet my gaze.
My heart skips like a fucking school girl. “I would love it if you read it to me.”
As though in disbelief, Levi’s eyes narrow to slits as he shifts to finally make eye contact. “Abso-lutely-fucking-not. Do I look like a thespian to you?”
Surprised laughter erupts from my chest at his blunt reply.
Levi huffs a laugh shaking his head. A folded piece of paper appears between the index and middle finger of his hand nearest me. He offers it to me as one might a cigarette.
The backs of my fingers graze his as I accept it, and my heart gives a whimsical leap for joy in the process.
After unfolding the paper with utmost care, my eyes burn with cloying and irrepressible emotion as I read and reread his poem so many times the words carve themselves into my heart. My soul.
I can’t bring myself to meet his gaze for fear of bursting into tears.
When my mind is lost
When my memories fade
When my heart surrenders to the passage of time
When my flesh returns to the dirt
And my essence to the stars...
My soul will always, always return to yours.
The smack of the first tear upon the paper is a violent sound amidst our held breath.
The second is dulled beneath the song of love humming in my chest.
The third seems to warrant concern.
Levi shifts to angle his body towards me as he slides one hand, hot and clammy—likely with nerves—over my forearm. His resonant voice is barely above a whisper.
“Hey..."
I sniffle in reply.
Sink lower so I may rest my head against his shoulder.
Levi shifts again, draping his arm around my shoulders and tucking me against him.
The silence between us is no longer uncomfortable, but laden with the treasure of what needn’t be said aloud to be heard or felt.
He presses a kiss to the top of my head, and my eyes slip shut as if trying to block out all other sensation so that I may commit this precious moment to memory.
Still, some insecure part of me can’t help but ask...
“You didn’t write it for Azrael?”
With his cheek resting atop my crown, I feel him shake his head. “No..."
I wait to ask another question, and my patience is rewarded with the answer.
“I forgive Azrael. I understand him and his reasoning entirely. I love him more than I love myself... but you chose us. You chose us in favor of liberation, salvation, and a future free from mourning. You honored me and Violette by binding your soul to ours despite knowing the suffering it would one day bring.”
I have to bite my cheek so hard it bleeds to keep my lips from quivering under the weight of my emotion, and I vow to one day describe to him what it was like returning to Akash’s cosmic womb, however briefly, before being called back by his and Violette’s souls, before I even bound us all together.
But at this particular moment, I have one final question dancing in place on the tip of my tongue with its eagerness to be spoken.
Drawing in a deep breath, I straighten and shift to face him, mustering my courage and meeting his gaze. “Would it be... horribly misplaced if I kissed you right now?”
Levi’s mouth curves, cheeks hiking, lips parting to reveal that boyish grin he hides from the world. Fuck, I love this male.
My heart and stomach swoop in unison like the unspoken murmuration of birds in flight.
His gaze briefly lowers to my mouth, and that’s all it takes to draw me into him like the calling of the tide.
Breath held, I lean in, slanting my lips carefully over his, testing.
Like one might dip a toe into a pool of water.
Yearning spreads through my chest like heat over ice. It pulls a groan from my chest. Guided by the same need, we both lean further in to fully capture one another’s lips and I find my hand snaking into the short lengths of his hair.
The first caress of our tongues sends a bolt of arousal straight to my cock.
Mouth hovering over mine, Levi’s voice is little more than a deep husk. “Fuck, Laz..."
Oh my fucking gods.
My lips wander, slowly decorating his jaw, his neck with kisses. “Say my name like that again, and I’ll fuck you on this bench.”
Levi chuckles, warm and resonant. One large hand grips a fistful of my hair to gently angle my head and bare my throat to him.
Grinning, his eyes search mine, a challenge in them as if to say, We’ll see who fucks who.
“Open for me, Lazarus.”
The singular command is as startling as it is arousing.
No male has ever told me, the god of death and endings, to open.
And yet, I find myself powerless to deny him.
A half grin skews my lips as I offer him the flat of my tongue. Levi’s eyes grow hooded, summoning a ball of saliva that I greedily swallow.
My cock throbs to the point of pain.
A glance in Violette and Azrael’s direction however reveals that...
We don’t have quite as much of an audience as I’d anticipated.
Instead, I get to watch Azrael receive what, to him, will seem like his first kiss.
Standing within the halo of Azrael’s arms, Violette reaches up to cradle his jaw as she stands on the tips of her toes, wings fluttering gently behind her to give her that extra boost, to press her lips to his.
It is... heartrendingly sweet, and for a moment, I’m jealous.
Because while I might be healed, I am still possessive and greedy, and don’t want to share.
With pin point precision, Levi targets my right nipple, giving it a tortured pinch that I feel all the way down the tip of my cock. “Fuck.”
His expression is serious, even with its seductive edge. “If I can share, you can share.”
I grunt in acceptance, returning my gaze to his before reducing the distance between my mouth and his. “So long as I don’t have to share you right now..."
My mouth captures his once more as I fold us into my bedchamber in Ourinessa.
Levi gives it a cursory glance as he hits the mattress beneath me, and I will away our shoes—there’s something to be said about manually undressing someone.
Hungry hands reach for the hem of his shirt and Levi lifts his arms, using one hand to yank it the rest of the way off.
Kneeling between his thighs, my gaze travels the length of his torso—every inch covered in tattoos—except for the space over his heart which is notably empty, and I make a mental note to ask him about it. After.
He clearly doesn’t share my predilections for the pleasure manually underdressing can offer because he wills away the rest of our clothes.
I arch a displeased brow. “I was going to have fun doing that.”
Levi, perched on both elbows, has the audacity to give me a haughty look even as his engorged cock leaks pre-cum. “Come here.”
Come.
Here.
Planting a hand on either side of his body, I lower my mouth to his neck and his head tips back to receive me. “You’re awfully demanding. You know that?”
A deep hum of pleasure resonates from his chest as I nip at his throat. He lies flat, hands travelling the span of my back as my cock, also dribbling with arousal, drags along his thigh before settling atop his and he gives a needy thrust in response.
I will a leather strap around each of his wrists, gradually guiding them to the bed posts. Expecting him to protest, my eyes search for any hint of reticence, but find none.
Though I can sense the heightened hammering of his heart.
Humming my approval, my nose traces his jaw before reaching his ear. “Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to do this?”