Chapter Fourteen
I found a rhythm. Every morning I stopped by the coffee stand in the lobby on my way to my office. If there were any puddles from the pool in the hallway, I used the mop from the janitor’s closet to do a quick spot clean.
After that I’d set up whatever activities were planned for the day. Sometimes it was getting popcorn together for a showing in the movie theater and other times it was rearranging tables for a crafting hour.
I only saw Eli sporadically outside of Tuesday nights, when I helped him set up for his book club. I didn’t have to stay, but it was my job to at least put out the sign-up sheet and to make sure that catering was all set up with the snacks we provided.
There was no letting go of the memory of Eli helping me out of the pool weeks ago. He’d mostly ignored me since then. It was college all over again. I spent far too much time feeling the absence of his attention, waiting for him to notice me again—even if his attention felt stifling at best.
I hadn’t spent much time off property unless it was to view yet another apartment I couldn’t afford, so when Waverly, the sex toy shop owner who had agreed to come out and speak to the residents, asked if I could come by the shop and pick up a few things in advance of her talk, I jumped at the chance.
Sex Toy Safety, my first very adult program, had so many RSVPs I’d had to move it to the theater.
I circled the quaint little area where Good Vibes Only was located and found street parking about two blocks away. There were no parking lots, but parking was free for the first hour, which I had to read twice to actually believe.
Getting out of my car, I checked the street signs to remember where I was and took note of the Italian bakery across the street.
I still wasn’t used to the desert heat, but the breeze today felt a little less like Satan’s asshole farting in your face. It also helped that I’d picked up a few desert-appropriate pieces at a secondhand store I visited with Ruby. Today I wore white linen overalls and a black tank top.
“Be right there,” Waverly sang from the back room as I walked into Good Vibes Only.
The shop was one hundred percent less skeevy than any sex shop I’d been in back home.
The inside was painted lavender with one entire wall quilted in velvet like it was straight out of a boudoir.
The neon shop sign hanging above the register felt more trendy than trashy and beneath it was a smaller sign that said Queer Owned.
I stood at the counter, feeling a little bit like I was definitely not adult enough to be in a store full of artisanal butt plugs and ethically sourced dildos. But this was for the residents, I reminded myself. I was the facilitator. That was it. And I was an adult, damn it!
“Sorry about that,” Waverly said as she stepped past a rack of latex garments. “Oh, you must be Vera from Starlight Palms!”
Waverly was short. The type of short that required a step stool to put away the dishes.
Her hair matched the walls of her shop, and her arms rippled with muscles.
The bio on the store’s website said that she’d spent years working at sexual health clinics and educating the public, but that Good Vibes Only was her dream realized.
“Yes! Thank you so much for coming out to talk to our residents.”
“Are you kidding? The Starlight Palms is legendary around here. I’ve always wanted to get a look for myself, but I don’t really meet the age requirement just yet.
” She circled around the back of the counter and hoisted two huge boxes up onto the counter.
“These are the products I pulled for the pop-up shop, but my girlfriend had to make a last-minute trip to San Diego and used my car, so all I have is her Vespa.” She motioned to the baby-blue Vespa parked just outside the store.
“No, not a problem at all,” I told her. “I’ve been meaning to check out your shop anyway.”
“Oh, yeah?” Waverly was delighted. “Well, is there anything I can help you find? Are we thinking stimulative? Penetrative? Both?”
My cheeks warmed and I felt the heat spreading to my neck.
“I, uh, have to get back to the property, but now I know where to find you!” I snapped my mouth shut before I could say something about how the topic of .
. . uh . . . self-pleasure always made me feel ridiculously inexperienced and awkward.
“Well, you’re not parked far from here, are you?” Waverly asked. “I could run these boxes to your car either way. I would just need you to stay here with the shop for a sec in case I get any customers.”
I shook my head. Standing guard at Good Vibes Only felt like a situation that could quickly unravel. “I’m fine.”
But I’d spoken too soon. I picked up one box and wondered if these sex toys were filled with lead. Holy hell. “I’ll come back for the second,” I said with a grunt.
It took a bit to make it back to the car, mainly because the box was blocking my line of sight and also because this thing was as heavy as a medium-size adult.
When I finally got to my RAV4, I loaded the box into the back and trekked back to the store. I was starting to sweat through my linen overalls and suddenly the look felt less vacation and more tourist-who-had-missed-her-group’s-bus.
Waverly smiled at me encouragingly when I reentered the shop and offered me a bottle of water, but I declined because I guess I’d rather die of thirst than admit I could have used the help. “I love a good sweat,” I blurted for some reason. “You just really feel the toxins leaving your body.”
Waverly nodded, like she was really into that.
I took the second box and said goodbye. The moment I turned the corner, my phone began to ring and I immediately set the box on the nearest bench.
Tess’s face lit up my screen. We’d been playing phone tag for the last week and I wasn’t about to miss my chance for contact with the outside world, so I set my phone on top of the box and answered with the speakerphone.
(I firmly believed that talking on speakerphone in public was a criminal offense, but if it meant talking to Tess, I’d gladly do the time.)
“You answered!” she shrieked.
“Yes,” I said in a whisper, “and I’m walking on a public street with my hands full, so you’re on speaker.”
“Vera,” she said, scandalized. “You detest speakerphone.”
“I know,” I whined. “But I miss you.”
She sighed. “I fucking miss you too. I think I might have to go into witness protection. I need to hide from my family.”
“Did the renovation get delayed again?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I want to talk about you and why are your hands full?”
“Would you believe me if I said my hands were full of dildos?”
She gasped.
“Well, not just dildos, I guess, but they’re for an event on Thursday.”
“You are hosting a sex toy party?” Tess asked slowly. “You wouldn’t even buy me lingerie at my bachelorette party because it made you feel uncomfortable. You literally fast-forwarded through sex scenes until you were thirty.” And then in a whisper, she asked, “Do you even own a sex toy?”
“I . . . have an electric toothbrush,” I said, and then felt immediately mortified even though it was just a joke. “I’m kidding by the way . . . and yes, I own a vibrator,” I said quietly. Even though it hadn’t been used in a hot minute.
“Well, I certainly hope that something in that box of tricks is for you.”
“No, but I will consider buying a new one from a discreet website that uses discreet packaging once I have an apartment of my own.”
“Oh my god, you’re still on Ruby’s couch?”
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “My spine is forever changed.”
“I’m guessing the search for an apartment is still bleak.”
“Basically, I’ve looked at every apartment that could possibly be in my budget if I also started driving Ubers on nights and weekends. But I still need a few months to save up enough money for first, last, and a
deposit. Some places even want three months up front.
And it doesn’t help that my boss, who is twenty-six, by the way, emails me every morning to check on my progress.
Yesterday she came by my office to inform me that residents were asking questions and hoping that their grandchildren could also visit for extended stays. ”
“Vera, honey, you know we’re happy to help you—”
“I am not borrowing money from my best friend. That is a recipe for disaster. What if I ran away with the cash to another country and changed my name and never paid you back?”
“V, your passport has been expired for a year and a half.”
“I’m pretty sure international criminals aren’t bothered by using fraudulent passports.”
She sighed. “Well, let me know if something turns up. Mama needs a weekend getaway, so helping you move in would be a great excuse. Too bad you can’t crash with our old friend Dr. Buckley.”
I’d arrived to my car and managed to balance the box on my knee while I opened up the back.
“Yeah, I basically don’t exist to him, so not much has changed since college,” I said with a grunt as I placed the box inside. I took the phone off speaker and held it to my ear with my shoulder as I sank into the driver’s seat.
“I’m pretty sure you can’t exactly erase the existence of your ex-wife from your memory. Plenty have tried.”
“Well, I can tell you that whatever grudge he had against Brody, he’s still holding it.
” My purse chose that exact moment to spill over from where it had been sitting on the edge of the passenger seat and I groaned as I leaned across the center console to scoop the most random, pointless shit off the floor.
Why was I still carrying a two-year-old half-eaten bag of trail mix?
And broken sunglasses? Did I actually think I’d find the tiny missing screw to fix them?
Tess kept on talking—something about a themed party we went to in college where everyone had to come dressed as a different version of Adam Sandler.
Eventually, I relinquished all the items I couldn’t reach to the black hole under the passenger seat and sat back up so I could get back to—