Chapter Sixteen
I hardly slept the night before. My brain was a constant loop of possible future scenarios.
Brushing my teeth alongside Eli. Making dinner.
Sorting laundry. Remembering to double-check that I’d locked the bathroom door.
Sharing groceries. Staying home while he went off to go on dates with the proud owner of the mystery hair tie.
It took a while, but eventually I fell asleep and the scenarios turned into the most ridiculous fantasies that left me unsatisfied and wholly annoyed with myself.
When I walked out the door for work, Ruby was still asleep and based on the hour I’d heard her stumble back in, that was probably for the best. I was heading out earlier than usual to deal with my car.
Tucked under the windshield wiper was a Starlight Palms business card with Dr. Eli Buckley’s information. On the back in choppy handwriting, it read:
You are once again road safe. Come find me for your keys. —Eli
First, the offer to crash with him and now he had fixed my car? A small part of me wondered if this was all to get back at Brody, like some incredibly involved long game. Whatever it was, it was too much.
On my way to the main building, I stopped by Leonard’s.
I’d listed his coffin yesterday and he already had a bite.
He asked me if I might be there when the interested party came by, and because I would have to run over myself with a golf cart if some internet stranger killed Leonard and got away with it all because I wasn’t there, I said yes.
Patrick chirped in his cage as Leonard let me inside. His potential buyer, a young woman with white-blond extensions so luxurious I could trade them in for a new car, sat perched on his coral leather couch.
“Vera, this is Emery,” Leonard said. “Vera assisted me with the online listing.”
“Well, it certainly piqued my interest,” Emery said as she stood up.
Her platformed Doc Martens sandals were paired with lace shorts and a purposefully torn tank top.
Maybe it was the Starlight Palms population rubbing off on me, but I almost asked her if the shirt was cheaper with or without the holes.
Leonard led the way to the coffin room and when he opened the door, Emery gasped and let out a squeal that left my ears ringing. Something did not sit well with me about all of this.
“It’s perfect!” She circled the room, taking a good look at the glittering dove. “How many other people do you have coming to take a look?”
“Actually—” Leonard started.
“We have two more coming this afternoon,” I lied through my teeth, feeling suddenly protective, “and one in the evening. But I have a few other messages I haven’t gotten to yet.”
Emery nodded seriously. “I’ll give you an extra five hundred if you cancel on the others,” she said.
Beside me, Leonard was gobsmacked, probably envisioning all the plants he could buy. Maybe even a new birdcage. “That’s quite the—”
“What exactly are your plans for the coffin?” I asked, interrupting Leonard again.
Emery spoke nervously with her hands as she said, “Okay, so a little morbid, I know . . .”
“Honey, it’s a casket,” Leonard said with a chuckle. “It doesn’t get more morbid than that.”
That seemed to set Emery at ease. “Okay, so I’m a party experience designer-coordinator—”
“So, a party planner?” I asked.
She gave me a brief but withering look. “Right, well, I’ve booked this joint bachelor-bachelorette weekend with the theme Till Death Do Us Part.
The couple is very edgy, and I’m certain this would be perfect as a beverage station.
We could tear out the silk lining and put some kind of tarp in it.
Fill it with hard seltzers and maybe some premade shots. Voilà!”
Leonard stood there, words coming to him in fits but never fully formed.
He was silent for so long that I almost wondered if he needed medical intervention.
But most of all, I was a little shocked.
Leonard’s attitude toward death seemed to lean on the irreverent side, but it became immediately clear that this coffin held more meaning than he was letting on.
Emery looked to me rather than just asking Leonard directly if he was okay.
But physically, Leonard was fine. Emotionally, I wasn’t so sure he was handling the coffin cooler idea in stride.
“I don’t think this is going to work,” I finally said, and the tension in Leonard’s shoulders eased. Patrick chirped from the other room. “Yeah, definitely not,” I continued. “Maybe you could look into a Halloween store or something.”
Emery let out a little pout. “But—”
“Let me help you to the door,” I said.
As I walked her out, Emery tried offering an extra two hundred dollars on top of the five hundred and even promised she could have the casket out of here in an hour.
I shook my head as I shuffled her out the door. “Yeah, I think you’re going to have to find a different coffin to upcycle.”
When I walked back inside, Leonard’s bottom lip was trembling, and it hurt to witness. The moment he noticed me staring, he turned to me and said, “Well, I suppose you have more important things to do than sit around here.”
I didn’t know what I could possibly say. Leonard was an onion and I was nowhere near the center. I could understand why he didn’t want to see the casket become a glorified cooler, but I wondered if he even wanted to see the thing go to begin with.
“My writing group meets in the main building bimonthly, by the way,” he said as he walked me to the door. “You should come by.”
“I just might,” I said, lying straight through my teeth.