Chapter Fifty-Three
Brody was right. The offer was more than fair. It was nice-place-without-a-roommate money. It was eat-out-as-much-as-you-want money. It was buy-a-new-car-with-seat-heaters money.
Marlon circled at my feet as Eli walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. Wearing gray sweatpants slung low on his hips, he kissed me on the top of the head before starting his morning espresso ritual.
After he was fully caffeinated, he sat across from me. “I think I’m going to pick up some boxes tonight. Maybe start taking over a few things this weekend.”
The house. I nearly forgot.
He waited for me to weigh in with my plans too. But all I could think of was Brody’s offer and Leonard’s box of script drafts. Pages upon pages that he’d pored over for decades.
Maybe it was overly sentimental, but I couldn’t help but wonder what pieces of my life would be forgotten as trash when I was gone.
I wanted to think that I could have Eli and my unbelievable opportunity, but that felt so naive now.
What was I going to do? Disappear into the desert and write?
If I wanted to be in the film business, I needed a foot in the door.
I needed to be in the Hollywood bubble, and working for Brody as more than an assistant could be the opening gambit I’d been waiting so long for.
What would Eli say? I couldn’t stay here only for him, could I? It couldn’t be that simple.
“I got a job offer,” I said.
His gorgeous face lit up, and his joy for me was a stab to the gut. He was plainly happy for me. He didn’t know that Brody was the source of the offer or that it meant I would have to leave.
“Vera, that’s great. You never mentioned that you were looking, though.” There it was. Just the slightest bit of hurt that I hadn’t shared something with him. “Is it something you’re excited about?”
I nodded slowly. “It’s an industry job. Something creative.”
He was taken aback, but not in an insulting way. “We have to celebrate. Tonight! I’m taking you out.”
This felt too good. I enjoyed this too much. The thought of him being excited for me. The thought of us sharing our lives in this way. “Eli.” I reached across the table for his hand, which he freely gave. “The offer is in LA. With Brody.”
He stilled for a moment before running his tongue along his lower lip and nodding to himself. “Okay.”
I pulled away, letting go of his hand. “That’s all you have to say?”
He leaned back in his chair with an air of indifference, hands braced on his thighs. “What more do you want me to say, Vera? Your mind seems to be made up.”
“It’s not entirely,” I said softly. I wanted his input. I wanted him to tell me it was okay.
“Make up your mind and then we can talk,” he said in a chilly tone. “I’m not your boss. I can’t counter the offer.”
“I wish you would tell me what you think.”
“Does it matter, Vera? I think I’ve made it perfectly clear what I want.
But right now, you springing this on me and then waiting for my response like it’s some kind of test .
. . it’s not fair. You want a reaction from me?
Why? Because you need me to be the reason you stay?
The reason you say no to Brody, who has never, ever been a good employer or friend.
” His voice dropped. “Or lover. I’ve asked you to move in with me, for Christ’s sake. ”
“You left,” I reminded him. “Nineteen years ago, you left. So excuse me if my first inclination isn’t to throw myself on the tracks for . . . whatever this is. I don’t even know if you’re my boyfriend, Eli.”
“Vera.” He sighed heavily. “Boyfriend is too simple a word for what I want to be to you.” He slid his chair back.
“The real question is: What do you want to be to me? What do you want us to be? Because right now you throwing out Brody’s job offer as casual morning chitchat feels like you’re waiting for me to jump first instead of just deciding what you want and where we fit into your life.
So what’s it going to be? Tell me what we are. ”
My throat was sandpaper and the only word I managed to get out was his name. “Eli.”
With downward-turned lips and a soft voice, he said, “You couldn’t take a risk if it was going to save the world.
You want to know why it’s easier to tell me about this job offer and wait to see what I do or say?
” He stood then, his eyes hooking into me.
“Because it’s safer. It guarantees that only one of us has to put their heart on the line. ”
“That’s not fair,” I told him. “The last few months have been one giant risk. I left everything behind when I came here.”
“Coming here wasn’t a choice. It was a last resort. But congratulations, Vera. I’m so glad Brody finally woke the fuck up and offered you the job you deserved years ago. I hope this Venus flytrap he’s set for you pans out.”
“Eli,” I called, my shoulders sinking, but the door to his room was already slamming shut. My eyes began to brim and tears spilled down my cheeks.
I looked down at my phone to find a text from Brody.
Brody:
Did you see the offer letter? Come into town for a few days and we can discuss. I’ll set you up in the pool house.