Chapter Fifty-Five #2
She blinked a few times, holding her eyes shut for a moment, before saying, “There was a time when that was true. Vera, I clawed my way through life. Through this business. No one wanted to see women succeed back then, especially not one who was a single mother. I was as much of a set piece as the goddamned trees.”
“I know it wasn’t easy for you back then.
And I know you think I’m throwing a perfectly good opportunity away by not taking the offer.
But I’ve waited all this time to see my words come to life.
And now that it doesn’t feel so impossible, I want to know that I’m doing this on purpose.
The Wunderkind does not give me that feeling.
It’s a thing I never knew how to let go of until it was forcibly taken from me.
And if I hadn’t driven off with my laptop on my car that day, I don’t think I ever would have moved on to the next thing. ”
“The next thing?” she asked, one brow arched, her interest very clearly piqued.
“It’s in the baby stages, so don’t get too excited.
” Just talking about it out loud made me feel claustrophobic.
“I shouldn’t have even said anything.” Whatever this project was that I’d started in Leonard’s workshop, it was still only mine and I wanted to be greedy with that feeling.
“But I also really like my job at Starlight Palms. More than I ever expected to, honestly. Being outside of . . . this place and this business . . . it’s nice.
It feels like I’m pulling inspiration right from the source instead of eating prechewed food and spitting it back up again. ”
“How poetic,” she said with a snort before sighing and reaching over to place a hand on my thigh.
“Vera, I need you to understand. I always wanted more for you. Better. We try to raise children using the same rules we succeeded by, but by the time they need those rules, they’re obsolete.
As much as it pains me to say it, maybe the roads have changed and my map is out of date. ”
I glanced over at her, doing a poor job at hiding my surprise to her admitting that she might not always be right.
“Just because something is offered doesn’t mean it’s worth taking.”
I hadn’t expected that from Ruby at all. Her voice was this constant presence in my head telling me to take a leap. Jump first. Look later. But for the first time in my life, my grandmother was telling me to trust myself.
She swiped her finger along the sugared rim of her glass and licked it clean.
“I sure as hell signed on for way too many duds with far too many skeevy men calling the shots and not a single one of them made me the big star they promised I’d be.
I don’t know what the whole history behind you and Brody is, but it’s clear that there is one. ”
“He’s not skeevy,” I told her. “Well, not for the most part. He’s a man-child. And one that I don’t want to take care of anymore.”
The waitress brought Ruby her ramen and she ordered a vodka tonic. She sipped the broth and indeed did so without slurping.
“Your turn,” I told her. “What has you looking for a quiet place to think?”
“Hollis asked me to marry her.” She took another sip of the broth as though she’d told me she’d just gone to the grocery store.
“So you said yes and promptly came here to celebrate by yourself?”
“That’s not all.”
“Okay . . .”
“Leonard’s lawyer called.” She placed her spoon on her place mat and smoothed the napkin over her lap. “Leonard asked that I be in charge of the posthumous management of his works . . . his scripts. And the nonfiction book he wrote decades ago about crafting dialogue.”
“What about his nephew?” I asked.
“Any profits will go to the family, except for a small management fee. But his nephew is a dentist who lives in Utah. He was more than happy to hear that the responsibility did not fall to him.”
“Wow. I . . . um, found a whole filing cabinet full of unfinished projects in his apartment.”
She laughed. “I’m surprised he didn’t request that they be burned.”
“Technically, they were marked as trash, but I . . . I couldn’t let that happen.”
“Well, that’s good, I suppose. Since you’ll be hearing from his attorney soon as well.
The second piece to Leonard’s wishes was that when I’m no longer around, he would like for you to take over the job.
” She rolled her eyes and laughed to herself.
“At my age, it seems silly to even pass the torch to me, if I’m being honest.”
“He did it for a reason,” I said. And if he had included me in his end-of-life planning, his will was very much up to date.
He could have easily revised his wishes regarding Ruby and the management of his works at any time.
But he hadn’t. After the years of scorn and vitriol between him and Ruby, Leonard had still chosen her.
“Are you going to finally tell me why the two of you stopped talking all those years ago?”
She took a long sip of her drink before turning to me.
“Take this as a lesson,” she said, “that the longer you let something sit, the bigger it becomes. Because what I’m about to say out loud is just .
. . well, it’s embarrassing how long we let this keep us apart.
I caught him with his mouth full,” she said, “of my date at an awards show in the eighties.”
“Oh.” I wanted to laugh, honestly.
“That wasn’t what really set me off, though. It was that Leonard knew I was being used as a beard, and he didn’t just tell me. I would have happily played along! But instead, I let myself be charmed by the most charismatic man.” She shook her head.
“Would I know him by name?”
She laughed to herself. “Oh, every person in this country knows him by name.”
“What! Are you serious? Who was it?”
She zipped her lips and shook her head.
“If I guess his name, will you tell me?”
She shrugged. “What I will say is that he was a perfect gentleman, so I should have known better than to think he was straight.”
“Jack Nicholson?”
She took a moment to examine her nails, which I took as a clear Guess again.
“Okay, fine, I’ll save my theories for later. But how does Hollis fit into all of this?”
“We walked out of the lawyer’s office this morning and I spent the whole ride home airing my grievances. I’m sure you think there’s something meaningful behind Leonard and his will, but it’s just him getting the last word, I assure you.”
“Or maybe it was Leonard’s attempt to acknowledge how important you were to him.
And who knows how long you’ll be managing his properties?
I don’t think he was considering time when he made this decision.
Knowing Leonard, this was all about symbolism.
No matter how wide the chasm between you both grew, he trusted you. And now you have his will to prove it.”
The waitress brought her drink and Ruby nodded a thank-you.
“That’s what Hollis said. And then she asked me to marry her.” She closed her eyes as though she was remembering the moment. “‘Marry me for a day or a thousand,’ she told me. ‘I just want the paper trail to say that you and I loved each other.’”
“And you chickened out again?”
Her gaze cut over to me. “I think I prefer the quiet.”
“Why not say yes, Ruby?” I asked. Now the tables were turned and I was the one who couldn’t make sense of her decision—or indecision. “You love each other. The stars have aligned. The timing is right. Finally.”
“It’s too perfect,” she said, her voice small as she nursed her drink.
“I can’t stand the thought of it being over.
Whether it’s me who goes first or her. Both possibilities hurt too much.
I don’t want to be a widow, and goddamn it, it’s selfish, I know, but I get jealous at the mere thought of her living without me.
Not because I’m jealous of her. I would choose Hollis’s life over mine every day if I had to.
But I am jealous of all the people who would still be able to enjoy her company.
The only way this whole story ends is when one of us dies, and that’s not somewhere either of us can follow the other to. ”
“And how does a signed piece of paper change that?” I asked, the thought of Eli and his offer to move in with him tickling the far reaches of my brain. “Love has got you fucked either way. You might as well call her your wife.”
Ruby pursed her lips, eyes trained ahead on the rows of liquor bottles behind the bar.
“There’s no happiness without pain,” I said, speaking to myself as much as I was to her. “And I’m starting to think that saying what you want out loud—putting a name to it, letting it be something you stand to lose—makes the joy of having it so much sweeter.”
“When did you become so emotionally intelligent?” She sighed. “I’ll have to find the perfect shade of ivory. I will not risk looking putrid on my wedding day.” Then she tossed me her keys. “And you’re driving us home. I am, as the kids say, wasted.”