Chapter 4 #2
“Are these your abdominal muscles?” I marvel.
“Yes,” he chuckles. “Abs.”
“Oh…” No one in Xantera is given enough time to ever tone these. “I want to see the rest of you,” I whisper, standing on my tiptoes to try and get Lucan’s shirt off his enormous frame.
“Not yet.” He grinds his palm into my clit as his other hand snakes around my throat.
With the gentlest of squeezes, he maneuvers me until my legs hit the bed frame.
A smirk forms on his lips before he kisses my pout, much too lightly.
“You haven’t earned it yet, baby. Not until you scream my name. ”
Then I’m falling back against the soft mattress, surrounded by the pine scent of Lucan’s sheets.
“Lie there,” he instructs me, “and I’m going to show you exactly what you’ve been missing.” He drops to his knees again like he’s about to pray. “They took away every pleasure in the world from you. And it’s only fitting that I’m the one to give it back.”
I crane my neck to look at him down the length of my body. His face is hovering so close to me, I can feel his breath against my searing skin. His pupils are so blown, I can’t tell where his irises start. I shimmy, trying to reach him, trying to feel his tongue on me again.
Lucan pulls back a millimeter for every one that I get closer. When I let out a frustrated huff, he chuckles darkly.
“But only if you’re good for me.” His eyes bore into mine, as if trying to drill in the memories of all the ways I disobeyed him in the Blood Moon Palace. “Say it.”
“I’ll be good. I promise,” I reply too quickly, no longer caring what I have to do to get that damned mouth back on me.
“Such a greedy little thing,” he murmurs happily before working his lips and tongue up my inner thigh.
That word—greed—has always felt like a transgression, such a break of the Cardinal Rules.
But with Lucan, here, right now, it feels undeniably right.
“You’re going to let me protect you? Keep you safe?
” I nod, fisting the sheets as he rewards me with a swirl of his tongue.
“You’re going to give me all of your depraved thoughts? Secrets?”
“Yes,” I breathe out.
“No more walls,” Lucan demands, pressing his middle finger into me. “No more rules.”
I almost cry out from that alone. How a single finger of his could fill me this much has sent me into other-worldly delusion.
“Fucking hell, baby.” He drags it out. In. Curls. “So wet for me. So sweet. Can you take two?”
“Lucan,” I plead. “Yes.”
Yes. Yes. Yes. I could say that one word forever and never tire of it.
Another finger slides in, stretching me perfectly.
His tongue drags across my clit, and this time, he doesn’t stop. His fingers and lips and tongue and teeth all work in tandem, building pressure and pleasure, mixing hints of pain and ache.
Lucan’s rough hums vibrate against me, adding to every one of my electrified senses. My fingers braid through his hair. My hips grind unapologetically against his face.
Higher and higher, I keep climbing, to a point I never thought was possible. Where I don’t have to do it myself. Where the man kneeling before me can’t get enough of me.
He smiles between my legs, a dark, villainous, upward tilt of his lips that has me falling.
“Come for me, little nightmare. Show everyone how good the Monster devours his prey.”
I scream his name.
Until I see black.
“I have no clothes now,” I sigh.
It’s been over fifteen minutes since Lucan crawled up my body, lay beside me, and let me collapse onto his chest to recover.
Now, he lets his eyes roam hungrily up and down my naked body, gleaming with flickering firelight. “I can’t say I’m bothered by that predicament.”
“You’re going to keep me naked forever?” I raise a playful eyebrow. “Let your friends see me like this?”
I mean it as a joke, but a vicious growl rips from Lucan’s throat, and in one fluid motion, he flips me around onto my stomach and straddles my thighs. “I don’t share when it comes to you.”
His erection—disappointingly still in his pants—digs into me while one of his enormous palms skates down the groove of my spine.
“Well, I can’t stay in your bedroom forever,” I taunt, eager to explore this possessive side of him… but also testing to see what his possessiveness looks like. Will he lock me away in the same way Arad did, keeping me from the rest of the world?
“You can stay in this bedroom forever if you want,” Lucan begins slowly.
“Forget everything and let me worship your body for the rest of our lives.” He pauses, brushing his lips down the same path his hand just took.
“Or you can run far away from here, wander and explore the world you never had the chance to know. But if you do run away, Saskia, mark my words.” From the corner of my eye, I see his expression darken.
“I will chase you. I will catch you. And I will continue to worship you.” He lets out a breath against my spine.
“But it’s your choice where that takes place.
In here or out there or anywhere in between. ”
My chest squeezes with the significance of those words. Before I can form an adequate response, the weight of his body releases me as he plants both of his feet on the floor.
“Where are you going?” I turn my head and settle my other cheek down against the mattress.
He opens the door next to the bed to reveal a closet, showcasing a variety of female clothes.
Brown and black pants, cotton shirts, leather jackets, elaborate dresses, and simple dresses all hang from hangers in two deep rows.
After a jolt of unease, I remember how he told Vivian to fetch me some outfits and marvel at how quickly she followed his command.
“Do you…” I clear my throat. “Do you control your pack like how you controlled me in the bathtub?” A flush crawls up my neck at the memory, but the answer feels important, somehow.
Lucan turns to look at me, cocking his head at the warmth in my face.
“No. What I did to you in the bathtub was more of a strong, strong suggestion. Since you were willing, I was able to guide your hands exactly where I wanted them, but it wasn’t actual control.
Trust me, little nightmare.” His jaw tenses.
“If I could truly take over someone’s willpower, I would have made Arad slit his own throat every time he put that necklace on. ”
The air chills at his words, and I shiver as I remember how he threatened to battle me for my own mind to keep me out of trouble in the Blood Moon Palace. He seems to track my trail of thoughts now and massages his temples.
“It was an empty threat, and I never should have made it. I was just so pissed off and terrified that you were going to get hurt, I thought maybe I could accomplish the impossible and force you to change your mind. But in the end…” He lifts his head back up.
“What you do with your free will is why I l…” He trails off and restarts.
“It’s what makes you you. Even with my pack members, I have no desire to actually take control like that. ”
“But they still follow your commands?” I ask carefully, curious.
“Yes. They can’t disobey a direct order of mine unless they’re willing to fight me, but I can’t actually dictate their muscles like they’re puppets—not that Vivian would even want to disobey any request involving clothes.
” He chuckles and gestures at the various items. “Which one do you want to wear?”
“Oh.” I blink at the closet. “I can pick?”
His amber eyes burn into mine. “Of course. You have a choice here, Saskia.”
“Oh,” I say again, blushing at how stupid I sound, even to my own ears.
“Okay, well…” I pass over the elaborate dresses with a shudder.
I never want to wear something so extravagant again.
And the simple pants and shirt remind me too much of living in the city of Xantera, forced to wear the same thing day after day.
Instead, my eyes flutter to a simple white slip with thin, lacy straps.
It reminds me of my nightgowns, free and flowing.
I’ve always felt most comfortable in the night, anyway.
“That one,” I say confidently, nodding at it.
Lucan doesn’t need to be told twice. He maneuvers himself back on top of me, slipping the silk fabric over my head. Then he carefully pulls my arms through, and before he pulls it down over my hips, he bites my glute gently, sending a flurry of butterfly wings through me.
He bends down, the front of his body flush with my back, and brushes my hair away from my neck.
“Okay?” he asks after he kisses me below my ear.
I nod into the mattress. “Okay.”
“Good. So now that you have clothes—” He flips me over, runs his hands down my waist, and scrunches his nose in disappointment. “—what else do you choose?”
My desire blooms from the deepest part of my heart, desperate to fill in the blanks, settle the internal debate of my imagination.
“I choose you. And I want to see you…” I trail off, running the tips of my fingers underneath his own clothes to get a taste.
Lucan pulls his shirt off the rest of the way, and my mouth can’t keep up with my brain.
If I had known that this was on the receiving end of the necklace all along, I probably would have been too busy salivating and stumbling over my words to even get to know him.
So I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad we got to know each other mind-to-mind before we finally get to explore each other body-to-body.
Now, I want him in every possible way I can have him.
My heart thrums. My greedy hands explore everywhere.
But a seed of doubt still lingers in the back of my mind, as if the male before me can’t possibly be the same one who helped me through the catacombs or listened to me talk about my mother or helped me through my last nightmare.
So before I have him this way, I want one more thing.
“I want to see you in your other form. As the Monster,” I amend.
For a moment, Lucan goes rigid, staring at me as if I’ve just uttered some kind of curse—or prayer. I wish I could read the thoughts racing through his mind right now, but I won’t be able to. We won’t be connected in that way again unless he shifts.
In a flash, Lucan grabs both of my wrists and pins them above my head. His nose hovers inches from mine.
“Are you sure?” he asks, voice dangerously low.
“Of course.” The synapses of my brain snap insatiably as I press my lips to his, then trail across his jaw and down the corded muscles of his neck. I stop over his pulse and nibble his hot skin. “The monster in you is the same monster in me.”
And I need to finally face the beast we were always taught to fear.
Lucan nods, then drags me off the bed. “Outside.”
“Why?” I protest helplessly around a laugh, even as a bolt of exhilarated fear shoots through me when he tucks me into his chest with that strength I can’t comprehend.
“You’ll see,” he warns.
Once he deposits me barefoot on the soft ground somewhere on the outskirts of the ghost town, the nip of fresh, chilled air shocks me to my core.
It’s so much more… free here. A soft breeze invigorates my senses, waking up every nerve in my body that isn’t already ignited as it whistles through tree branches.
Lucan backs up, and my excitement simmers within me. I wrap a tight fist around the vial of my necklace. Waiting.
He stares as if testing me. Like he’s waiting for me to change my mind.
But after a few long ticks, Lucan’s shoulders jerk.
Every part of him elongates right in front of my eyes: his spine, his arms, his legs.
Coarse, dark fur sprouts all along his body, intercepted with streaks of golden brown, just like his hair, and his ears rise until they’re two sharp spikes on top of his head, just like horns.
His mouth widens, more canines ripping from his gums, his nose melting into a snout.
Even more muscles swell, bulging from arms that hit the ground like anchors, massive claws tearing into the ground at our feet.
He has similar features to a… a dog, but everything is so much bigger, deadlier, more monstrous. Not something that would fit within the confines of a house, that’s for sure.
But not a Monster, I decide. I just have no other word for him.
A werewolf, he says into my mind, the electricity connecting our brains snapping into place as soon as his shift is complete.
A werewolf.
I repeat the word in my head again. It’s fitting.
Keeping myself rooted to the spot as I suck in lungfuls of air, my head snaps back to take in the sheer size of him now. His lupine face stares back at me, amber eyes glowing in the dark, assessing, waiting for me to make a judgment. Letting me process.
This.
This is the dark shadow of my nightmares, finally stepping into the light of the moon. This is what the Guardians always said they were protecting us from. This is the beast they said was starved for meat and bone. Beware its eyes. Resist its howl.
But I’m looking him dead in the eyes.
And I can’t resist him any longer.
As much as this form of his should terrify me, it doesn't. So finally, I take a single step toward him and place a palm in the center of his chest.
The werewolf—Lucan—visibly relaxes at my touch.
You’re not scared? he asks me mentally, while a low growl rumbles from his real throat.
“Of course not,” I reply out loud, even though my chest feels like it’s hammering once again. But not from fear. No, something about having this massive, monstrous creature before me fills my body with a delicious rush of adrenaline.
Lucan’s maw twists into a smile, sensing what I want. What I need.
Then run, little nightmare.