Chapter 14 Saskia #2
“Not a Guardian,” Lucan repeats firmly. He turns back to me. “Do you have plans to kill the Third Guardian just to replace him? Take his throne and Choose an unwilling sacrifice every blood moon?”
“No!” I cry immediately. “What? No!”
“See?” Lucan jerks his head back to Taika. “Not a Guardian. Not our enemy. The pack will just have to get used to her smell.”
“My smell?” I exclaim, quickly dipping my head to sniff my armpit. “You think I stink?”
“Not exactly.” Lucan wrinkles his nose, but a smirk plays across his mouth. “You’re just… extra sweet now. Like strawberries and roses but condensed into a bottle and then sprayed up my nostrils.”
I cross my arms and huff at him, feeling that energy rise up my bones again, urging me to run, climb, tackle him, so much more.
“You’re not exactly the most heavenly-smelling creature yourself.
” I inhale dramatically. “I’m getting… dirt.
Just like the taste of your blood. What do you do, roll in mud in your free time? ”
He takes a step closer to me, the air snapping between us, and glances at the bob of my throat.
“Last I checked, you were the one on all fours on the forest floor like a dog.”
Every synapse in my brain seems to ignite and explode, and my fingers tremble with my own restraint. I enjoyed him being dominant in the past, but now my own urge to dominate fills me to the brim, and I can’t think straight with him glowering down at me like that.
Taika clears his throat, and we glance at him.
“I’m prescribing you both a run. Right now.
We’re never going to figure out a solution to the current problem until Saskia gets her newfound energy out of her system.
So run far away from here, both of you, before the pack comes to investigate, and then come back when you’re ready to face them all.
” He uses his cane to turn and peer through a sliver of a gap between the curtains, exposing an early dawn sky.
“No one’s out, so if you go out my back door, I doubt anyone will see you.
And I won’t tell them what has occurred until you’re here to tell them yourselves. ”
I break eye contact with Lucan long enough to lay a hand on Taika’s shoulder, who stiffens for a moment before relaxing at my touch.
“Thank you,” I say earnestly. Because he’s right. I don’t know how to move forward until I test out the new limitations—or lack of limitations—of my new body. I need to face myself and whatever I have with Lucan before I can face the others.
But I do know one thing as I cock an eyebrow at Lucan, silently daring him to chase me again. Xantera doesn’t have time for me to run away forever.
So I’d better be fast.
I am. Wind whistles through my ears as I cut my own path through the forest behind Taika’s house, this time carried by my own two legs. My own strength.
But running side by side with Lucan, just like I’d daydreamed about on one of the balconies of the Blood Moon Palace, I’m astonished at just how fast I really am.
In his werewolf form, his leaps match three of my strides, but I’m still able to keep up. My muscles feel like cold marble, impenetrable. My lungs don’t get winded, nor do my joints scream.
For the first time in my life, I’m as strong and capable as the monsters I used to fear.
I turn my neck to look at Lucan, his dark, mottled hair slicked back in the wind, his amber eyes glinting at me in amusement.
My smile hurts my cheeks.
She looks happy, he thinks.
That’s when I run face-first into a boulder.
The world jostles as I slingshot across the forest floor, like rock bouncing off rock, and land on my back.
I blink up at the brightening sky until Lucan’s panicked human face materializes above me.
“Shit, Saskia. Are you all right?”
A laugh bubbles up into the air. “Yes,” I promise, shrugging him off. “Think something again.”
“What?” he asks, furrowing his brow, his gaze scouring over me as if checking for injuries.
“Think something again,” I repeat, and wait for a beat before I remember. “As a werewolf. Shift.”
Lucan cocks his head like I’m insane, but his legs elongate, fur sprouts instantly from his skin, and his face morphs into a wolfish one.
She hit her head too hard, he worries, looming over me. Fuck.
Placing my palm against my sternum, double checking that my chest is still necklace-free, I reply mentally, I’m completely fine. I’m a vampire now.
He audibly gasps as his eyes fly down to my neck, confirming for himself what isn’t there.
My blood…?
His voice doesn’t exactly latch onto my heartbeat. Instead, it swells from inside me, tracks down my core, rises along my spine. It’s everywhere.
I nod, hope blooming within me once more. Your blood. Since I drank it, it’s in me… so I guess we’re connected by more than just a necklace now.
Incredible, Lucan says, and I agree.
Maybe we can’t go back to the way we used to be, but we could create a new bond.
One that doesn’t require a chain around my neck.
My mind swirls with the possibilities. Surely, he and I can’t be the first vampire and werewolf couple in all of history.
But I’d imagine it’s so rare and rebuked that this isn’t something that has been observed or studied very often.
Too bad…
Just as quickly, the hope seeps away. As I get to my feet, I do my best to bury the sadness poking holes in my joy so Lucan won’t pick up on it.
He tilts his head anyway, sensing the shift in the air between us, but before he can question me or pry further into my mind, I’m running.
More like sprinting at full speed. And full speed for a vampire is a blur.
Further up the mountain, rockier ground begins to roughen the landscape. Lucan’s paws thunder behind me, but he can’t quite close the gap since I had a head start—not like the first time he chased me. Now, we’re evenly matched.
Saskia, he growls through me. What’s wrong?
I force my feet to move even faster, trying my best to distract myself from thinking anything at all, but all I’m really doing is tiring myself out faster.
Lucan slowly closes in until he’s nipping at my heels, his thoughts pressing into my back.
Tired already, little nightmare?
I whip around at his accusatory tone, and Lucan skids to a halt.
You can’t read my mind every time you want to know something, I shoot back right before he slams into me.
Again, I’m flying backward. This time, though, it’s a controlled fall as Lucan pins me down against the rocky ground, his hulking form panting over me.
A splitting crack of rage that doesn’t belong to me rips through my chest, the mood shifting so suddenly it gives me whiplash.
His eyes bore into mine. You think I need to read your mind to figure you out?
And with a snap of his canines, he’s human again.
His chiseled jawline could cut stone. His muscular thighs press down against my hips when I start to wriggle beneath him.
“I don’t,” he says, without breaking stride. “I know you. Inside and out.”
My own anger flares when I can’t manage to free myself from his grip. “Good for you.” I let out a huff. “Now get off me.”
Lucan chuckles darkly, running the pad of his thumb over my lips. “Maybe if you would have drunk enough, you’d have more strength to fight me off.”
I tense every cold muscle in my body, and with all of my remaining strength, I push Lucan in the chest, launching him ten yards into the air.
He lands against a thick tree trunk with a boom. The tree shakes violently, pine needles raining down around us as Lucan slides down to his feet almost effortlessly.
Blinking, I scramble to stand up, and all the fear and denial and self-loathing I’ve felt since the moment I woke up bursts to the surface. “I don’t want to be the reason you’re in pain ever again,” I seethe.
To my surprise, Lucan’s face doesn’t crumple. No flash of understanding crosses his expression. If anything, he only looks even more determined, his jaw clenching and his eyes narrowing. Maybe we really are enemies now, because all his sympathy for me seems to be gone.
“So, what then?” he asks, taking a step toward me.
“You’re going to starve yourself?” His voice is like rough gravel rolling over my skin, taunting me.
“Resist this?” A claw shoots out of his index finger, and he drags it over his palm, slicing open a thin, fine cut.
A bead of blood appears, and its scent fills my nostrils.
My mouth waters, desperate to taste it on my tongue one more time.
I take a step back, remembering myself.
“Yes,” I hiss. “I’ll resist.”
I already decided that I won’t drink from him again.
If what the journal said was true, I’ll have until the next blood moon to live before starvation takes over me again and I die like my father did.
Lucan and I won’t ever get to explore a new bond because that would require me continuing to take his blood.
“I won’t be a parasite,” I say out loud.
Lucan begins to circle me, head cocked. “Parasites take without giving back. You can take as much as you want from me, and you’ll give back tenfold. Therefore, you are not a parasite. What we have is symbiotic.”
I laugh humorlessly, twisting to keep him in view. “Symbiotic? Is that so? What exactly do you think I give you back?”
He doesn’t hesitate. “Life. Meaning. Everything.”
I snort, crossing my arms and glancing away, despite the way those words make my stomach flutter. “You’re just saying that to be nice.”
With a growl, Lucan leaps forward. Adrenaline fuels me, my earlier exhaustion melting away as anger lashes back. I jump, colliding with him and sending both of us through the trees—straight into another boulder.
It cracks from the force, the sound echoing around us like an explosion, but I barely feel a twinge of discomfort.
Lucan smirks inches from my mouth. “Do I look like I’m being nice to you?”