Chapter 26 Saskia #3
If we can survive what happens next, that is. If we can truly bring down that Wall and liberate our people.
When Lucan shakes the salt and pepper over our eggs, he finally turns to me with pride spread across his face. “There you have it. The best breakfast in the world.”
My mouth waters uncontrollably, but not because of the smell wafting from the sizzling pan. There’s something about the way he always captures my gaze so wholeheartedly that makes me feel hot, separate from the heat of the wood-burning stove—confident, carefree, purposeful.
“Well? What are you waiting for?” I grab a knife and fork and hand it over to him. “Did I do okay for my first time?”
Lucan snags the fork and cuts off a piece right from the pan. He closes his eyes when he takes a bite and nods, smiling. “You did perfect.”
At his expression, pride bursts within myself that I helped make this. Created it. But I don’t need human food anymore, and sadly, I likely won’t enjoy it, even if it does taste good to Lucan.
Hope still brews in my chest—maybe I’ll become just a tiny bit more human if I take a bite…
Nervously, I stab the fork into the eggs and bring it to my mouth, the salty taste coating my tongue in a weird, tingly new way.
Trying to savor it, I close my eyes.
“Well?” Lucan asks eventually.
But I know, nothing will ever compare to him. Not anymore.
I smile, never more sure of anything in my life. “You’re still my favorite. Always.”
By the time we’re done eating, it’s time for me to venture back out to meet Taika.
Today, we’re further purifying Lucan’s antibodies with a filtration method.
We work diligently through the day, adding the acid to precipitate out the non-antibody proteins, then running the liquid through a filter from Taika’s old laboratory.
When we have enough to fill two large vials, we slip them into our snow and ice-packed cooler.
Hours later, I finally look up to find that frost kisses the edges of the window.
“Winter’s going to be a harsh one this year,” Taika remarks, and I shiver at the thought of everything freezing over.
In Xantera, I only ever had to deal with snow when I was walking from my housing unit to the Healing Center or Blood Moon Palace.
Here, I imagine that the cold will seep into every wall, through every door.
There might not be any electricity out here, but at least I’ll have Lucan to keep me warm.
A peal of laughter and shouting jerks my head upward again. Through the frosted window, I can just barely make out a group of werewolves crowding around the edge of the meadow down the road. Including the children.
Taika smiles. “Looks like they’re waiting for you to start training again.”
For some reason, I blush. He makes it sound like I’m some kind of professional trainer, when in reality, I’m just a new vampire listening to my base instincts. I glance down at our spread of supplies and liquids, still in the process of cooling down.
“Go,” Taika says, waving me away with a gnarled hand. “I’ll let you know when it’s ready. There’s nothing more we can do at this point besides wait.”
I nod, but right before exiting, I spot the broken necklace that Lucan snapped in his efforts to wake me when I fell unconscious.
Even though we’re connected through more than just a vial now, I find myself reaching toward the coiled gold chain itself, lifting it over my head, and settling it against my neck once more.
“I like the way it looks,” I tell Taika, even though that’s only a fraction of it. In truth, I like the way it reminds me of how I met Lucan. Where I come from. And what we still have to lose, if this doesn’t work.
He bows his head in understanding, and after waving goodbye, I make my way out the door, down the ramp, and toward the meadow with my arms crossed over myself against the biting cold of the air.
Just as I’m about to step back onto the main road, however, a voice slithers out from the shadows between two dilapidated, lopsided houses.
“I’ve got to admit, vampires are really clever.”
I whip my head toward the source, crouching in a defensive stance as my eyes make up horrible shapes in the darkness: the Guardians, coming for me at last. But after a few blinks and steady breaths, I inhale sharply as I realize it’s just Kyra standing in an alleyway, her hands on her hips…
And Gabriel with his arms folded, leaning against a brick wall behind her.
“W-what are you two doing?”
My voice comes out in a quiver. I glance toward the meadow, but one of the houses is blocking my view of all the others.
Kyra’s lips pull up in a smile, her nose wrinkling as her eyes trail the gold chain looped around my neck once more. “Just wanted to have a little chat with you. It’s hard to get a word in with our dear alpha always hovering, not letting us talk.”
The phrase not letting us talk seems to rebound in my skull. It reminds me too much of the Cardinal Rules, and Kyra’s eyes glimmer as if she knows it.
I swallow thickly. “I’m sure Lucan would be happy to hear what you both have to say.” I shoot a glance at Gabriel behind her, and he meets my eyes with a hardening of his own.
“See, that’s where you’re not so smart,” Kyra says with a sigh, tossing her hair back and taking a single step toward me.
“Or maybe you’re just a really good liar.
Because Lucan’s obviously not happy with anything we have to say if it’s not Oh Saskia, you’re so perfect, Saskia, you’re our salvation, Saskia.
If we’re not kissing your ass, then he’s quite literally pommeling us.
So tell me—does that sound like good leadership to you? ”
My face flushes with a blast of humiliation.
My breathing feels like it’s shrinking, forced through a narrow tunnel.
I want to defend Lucan like he’s defended me, but all the Cardinal Rules seem to swirl around and around my head, and I know I can’t do anything besides allow Kyra the freedom to speak her mind.
Otherwise, I’d just be proving her own point.
“So tell me.” I try to force a modicum of calm back into my shaking voice. “What do you really think?”
This time it’s Gabriel who lifts himself off the brick wall and takes a step forward, and the air seems to tighten as I face these two werewolves who hate me.
“I think this is all a ploy,” Gabriel says with sharp, vicious quietness. “Not that you’re with the Guardians—I don’t think you’d go to such great lengths to bring down the Wall if you were secretly on their side—but I do think you want to replace them.”
“Replace them? What?”
“Oh, please,” Kyra scoffs. “You somehow get Lucan Veradel to fall in love with you, something every female in this pack save for his own mother and cousins have tried to do for centuries now, and you want to help him reclaim his throne? You know full well you’d be the one to sit by his side if that ever happens. ”
I take a step back, sucking in a lungful of brittle air as the implication of what they’re accusing me of hits me right in the chest. “No. I don’t want to be queen.”
“Prove it, then,” Gabriel snaps. “Help us defeat your Guardians, and then leave him. This pack and that entire city in there—” He points in the direction of the Wall. “—will be better off without a vampire in charge anyway. Just look what your kind has done.”
Silence falls between us, heavy as a snowstorm. A chill snakes through the alleyway, pebbling my skin. Leave him. Leave him? I could never leave Lucan, even if I wanted to.
But what if Gabriel’s right? What if I help them kill the Guardians, just to end up replacing them? I can’t put myself in a position where I might hurt innocents or take away anyone’s freedom. But I can’t hold Lucan back from his rightful place as king, either.
“Prove it,” Gabriel hisses again.
And then he grabs Kyra by the arm, and they leave me standing at the lip of the alleyway with a heart that would be hammering against my chest if only I was human.