3. Cohen
Cohen
I was physically at the team facility for off-season workouts, but my mind was still in Ava's apartment.
Fuck. She was pregnant.
How could I have let this happen? I was smarter than this. It wasn’t like this was the first time a girl had told me she was on birth control. And did I still wear a condom then?
Fuck yeah, I did. Always.
So why didn't I with Ava? What was it about her that caused me to lose my mind and throw all logic out the fucking window?
And the worst part?
The one person I wanted to run to—the one person who’d always been my sounding board, the guy who gave me advice when things went sideways—was the one person I was terrified of finding out.
I deserved this. I knew I did.
I’d been walking around like I was in-fucking-vincible. Thought I could get away with fucking my best friend’s little sister and come out unscathed. The thing was, Ava had never been, and would never be, just another fuck to me. I’d always wanted her. I’d just known I could never have her.
Off-limits. Untouchable.
Maybe that’s why I’d gone after her that night.
I never liked being told what to do… unless it was Ava doing the telling.
My mind flashed back to that night in my apartment, when she’d told me to get on my knees.
Not helpful.
When our workout wrapped, I skipped dinner with the guys and went straight home. My head was a disaster, and I didn’t trust myself not to let something slip. In the shower, I let the water pound down my back, my forehead pressed to the tile.
What the hell am I going to do?
Ava had given me an out. She didn’t expect anything. Didn’t want anything. I could wipe my hands clean of this, walk away, and my life wouldn’t change at all.
But hers would.
While I was off playing ball, chasing my dreams, hers would be put on hold…
to raise our child. I would have freedom, no responsibilities other than myself.
She would have schedules, sleepless nights, and the weight of the world on her shoulders.
The thought made my chest tighten. I couldn’t live with myself knowing there was a kid out there—my kid—and I’d chosen to disappear.
Just like my father had.
And eventually, some other guy would step in. I slammed my fist against the tile.
Fuck that.
I dried off, pulled on clothes, and collapsed into the recliner, staring at nothing. I grabbed my phone—absolutely not hoping to see her name pop up.
Ava’s eyes flashed through my mind. That dark blue. The guilt. The fear she’d tried so hard to hide.
I scrolled to my sister’s number and hit call.
After a few rings, she answered. “What’s up, Coh?”
Callie was only eighteen months younger than me and still lived back in Tennessee, where we grew up.
I sighed. “A lot.”
“Uh-oh. That bad?” she teased. “Which girl’s heart did you break this time? Did she key your car?”
I forced a laugh. “Not quite." I paused, not quite believing the words that were about to come out of my own mouth. "I got someone pregnant.”
Silence.
I pulled my phone from my ear and glanced at it to make sure the call hadn’t dropped.
“Cal? You still there?”
“…Yeah.” She exhaled. “Sorry. Are you serious?”
“Yeah.” I scrubbed a hand over my face. “And it gets worse. It’s Walker’s sister.”
“Goddammit, Cohen,” she said. “Please tell me you mean the youngest one and not the married one.”
That got a laugh out of me. “Yes, you idiot. I slept with Ava. The night we won the World Series.”
I could hear her pacing. “Shit. Okay. What are you going to do? What do you need me to do?”
Some of the tension in my shoulders eased just hearing her voice. Being able to say it out loud, knowing I had someone who wouldn't let me fall, prevented me from having a full-on breakdown.
“Nothing,” I said. “She’s keeping the baby. Said it’s up to me if I want to be involved or not. No expectations.”
“Wow,” Callie said softly. “That’s… really mature of her.” She paused. “But if I know you—and I do—you won’t let that kid grow up without their dad. Not like we did.” Her voice broke at the end.
Painful, unwanted memories rushed in. Father’s Days we didn’t celebrate. School events where our mom showed up in place of our dad. Baseball games where every other kid had their dad in the stands—coaching, cheering—while mine never showed.
I swallowed. “I asked her to tell me when the next appointment is. We’re also telling Walker together this weekend.”
“Good luck, bro,” she said. “That’s going to be brutal.” She paused for a beat. “And I know it’s probably too soon, but I’m going to be a kickass aunt.”
A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. “You definitely will.”
“Call me after you talk to Walker. I’m here for you," she assured.
“Thanks.” I exhaled. “I’ll let you go. I’ve got forty-eight hours until I potentially meet my death, and I need to plan my last words.”
“Oh, shut up,” she snorted. “Maybe Walker will surprise you.”
I scoffed. “He’s been telling me to stay away from Ava for the better part of a decade.”
“True.” She sighed. “All right. Love you.”
“Love you too, Cal.”
I tossed my phone onto the side table—after checking, once again, for any missed texts.
Nothing from Ava. Just a few messages from some of the girls I usually spent time with.
Lyla (Big Tits): Hey Jordan, want to come over tonight? It's been a minute.
Kate (Nice Ass): Hey, Cohen, been a while…did you lose your phone?
Danielle (Flexible): Where have you been? Call me.
Ignoring their texts, I pushed myself up, heading toward the kitchen when my phone chimed. I lunged for it like a dog after a bone.
Trouble: Sunday. Pick me up at 9 a.m.
I grinned—like a fucking idiot.
Me: I appreciate not having to change your contact name.
Trouble: Thought I'd save you the trouble ;) I wanted to be sure you knew who I was.
Me: I couldn’t forget you if I tried.
Three dots appeared.
Disappeared.
Reappeared.
Then nothing.
I set my phone down and headed back for the kitchen, trying not to care. I rummaged through my fridge, glancing over at my phone every few minutes.
Okay, maybe seconds.
I wanted the conversation to continue. I wanted to keep talking to her.
But she never texted back… and it bothered me more than I wanted it to.
Today was my funeral.
I mean, the day we were telling Walker the news.
I’d run through what I planned to say a thousand times, but nothing ever felt right.
Honestly, I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was going to be a father.
I’d never imagined having kids—never wanted them.
Not because I didn’t like kids. I loved them.
But because my childhood had been… er … rough.
“Why am I more nervous to tell my brother than I am to tell my parents?” Ava’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Probably because we did the one thing he specifically asked us not to do,” I said, glancing over at her curled up in the passenger seat, knees tucked to her chest. I reached over and turned the seat warmer on, trying to ignore how good she looked in my truck.
She shook her head with a small laugh. “God either has a twisted sense of humor, or we’ve got some serious bad karma.”
I nodded. “Could be both.”
“So,” I said, trying to sound casual and failing, “do you know when your next doctor’s appointment is yet? I’d like to go—if that’s okay. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything.”
She smiled. “Two weeks. Sorry. I meant to tell you, my brain’s just been a bit fried with everything that’s going on. We should be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat.”
Heartbeat.
Fuck.
This was really happening. I was going to be a father. My throat went dry. The idea lodged somewhere deep as I imagined hearing my baby’s heartbeat for the first time. This little being that I’d created.
With her.
“Great,” I said quickly. “I’ll drive.”
She dropped her head back, laughing. Her navy eyes shining, long dark hair spilling down her back—goddamn, she was beautiful. She always had been.
"What is it with you and my driving, CoJo?"
I peered in my sideview mirror, changing lanes.
"Just let me drive."
I punched in the code to Walker and Farrah’s gate. As we made our way up the long drive, my heart caught in my throat. My palms were slick against the steering wheel as the house came into view.
I’d been here a thousand times, but I still took a moment to take in the property.
Pristine white fencing flanked the driveway.
The house—all limestone and steel, with tall windows that pulled in the view.
Rolling hills accented by oaks, and a barn off to the side with the same pale stone as the house, but with a dark-green roof.
His two horses sunbathing in the mid-morning light, tails flicking back and forth lazily.
A picture of contentment.
And I had the sinking feeling this might be the last time I was welcomed here.
“I forgot to ask,” I said. “Does Walker know I’m coming?”
Ava was already opening the door. “Nope,” she tossed over her shoulder—like a fucking grenade.
Fantastic.
I followed Ava to the door, dragging the inevitable out as long as I could. Knowing that the minute that door opened, my relationship with Walker, my life, was about to change… and I wasn’t sure how bad it was about to get.
Ava knocked on the door. I shoved my hands into my pockets as we waited for the door to open.
Farrah answered. Thank fuck.
“Ava! And Cohen?” she said, pulling Ava into a hug, then looking at me with confusion as Ava scurried inside.
“I gave her a ride,” I said lamely.
Farrah didn’t buy it for a second but stepped aside anyway after giving me a hug. “Come in.”
We headed into the kitchen, where Ava and Walker were already talking—he was leaning against the counter, she was perched on a barstool. Walker glanced over, excitement lighting his face when he saw me.
“What the hell?!” He grinned. “Coh! What are you doing here, man?” He pulled me into a hug, slapping my back.
I swallowed hard. “Hey, James.” I gestured vaguely toward Ava, trying to keep my tone light. “Gave her a ride.”
Walker turned to her. “Something wrong with your car, Avs?”
She shook her head. “Well… I guess now’s as good a time as any.”
Shit. Are we really doing this now? So much for a little small talk.
She inhaled deeply.
Yup. We are doing it.
“Walker, I’m pregnant.”
I stood frozen, scared to look at Walker, but forcing myself to anyway.
His eyes nearly popped out of his head. He braced himself against the counter as Farrah rushed to his side, guiding him onto a stool.
“But—what? Who? Why?” Walker was completely malfunctioning.
“Ace,” Farrah said calmly, rubbing his back. “Take a breath.”
He sucked in a lungful of air and looked back at Ava. “You don’t even have a boyfriend.”
“I don’t need a boyfriend to get pregnant, you idiot,” she shot back.
“Do you know who the father is?”
“Walker!” Farrah reprimanded.
Ava reared back as if Walker had slapped her. "Well, first off, that is offensive…" she trailed off. Her eyes dropped to her hands before lifting… straight over to me.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I wished the floor would open and swallow me whole.
Walker followed her gaze. His brows furrowed. Then his eyes widened, understanding registering in slow motion.
Here we go.
He pointed at her. Then at me.
I winced, eyes darting around the room frantically, trying to find an escape route as if I could avoid what I knew was about to happen.
Farrah dropped her head into her hands. “Oh no.”
“No. No, no, no. NO fucking way!” Walker exploded.
He jumped to his feet. I tried to back up, but I barely had time to brace for impact before he shoved me—hard. I nearly crashed to the floor, catching myself on the edge of the island.
“What the FUCK, Cohen?” he roared in my face. I’d never seen him this angry.
I was ready to take a few punches. I deserved it, but Farrah immediately stepped between us. “Walker, stop!”
“You got my sister pregnant?!” he yelled over her shoulder, finger pointed at me. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” His eyes were wild. Hurt.
Ava buried her face in her hands and groaned something I couldn't quite make out.
“I’m sorry, man,” I said, every rehearsed word gone, my mind completely blank. “It just happened. We didn’t mean for it to—”
“I trusted you!” he cut me off with a growl. “You’re my best friend. I told you to stay away from her, and yet you still couldn’t keep your goddamn dick in your pants.”
Farrah kept pushing him back, trying to keep the distance.
“Walker,” Ava pleaded, standing. “It was my fault. I fucked up, not Cohen.”
His head snapped toward her, his expression instantly softening toward his little sister. “No. Nope. I don’t believe that for a goddamn second. I know how he is.” His eyes locked on mine, jaw clenched tight.
That one stings.
“Listen,” I said, hands raised in surrender. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here, in whatever way Ava needs me.”
Something flashed across Ava’s face. Relief, maybe?
“He didn’t do anything wrong,” she said firmly. “I asked him to leave with me that night."
Well, that is a lie.
"He’s coming to my doctor’s appointment,” she continued. “I have this handled. For fuck's sake, I’m almost thirty, Walker. You don’t need to big-brother me.”
She stepped beside me and looped her arm through mine. The warmth of it caught me off guard. I wasn't sure I remembered the last time someone stood up and protected me.
Walker paused, eyes narrowing. "So… what… are you two like together now?"
Before I could answer, Ava shook her head vehemently. "No. No, we're just friends."
Did I want a relationship? No, not particularly. After everything I’d been through in my life, I didn’t like being attached.
But that didn’t stop Ava’s words from stinging.
Just a little.
Farrah dragged Walker away for a bit. When they returned, he looked calmer, less explosive. I didn’t know what the hell she did—and honestly, I didn’t want to know—but afterward, I was able to take my best friend aside and talk to him.
We ended up outside by the fire pit, sitting in silence. Walker was glaring into it like it owed him something.
I cleared my throat. “I’m really sorry, man. I know that doesn’t fix anything, but it just happened. I didn’t plan this. We’d just won the World Series. Drinks were flowing—hell, you know I’ve always thought your sister was hot… it just sort of happened.”
That wasn’t entirely true. I’d sought her out that night. I couldn’t stay away from her.
Walker closed his eyes and inhaled slowly.
“I’ll get past the fact you slept with my sister and that you decided to be a shitty fucking friend.
I don’t like any of this shit, but that’s not my main focus right now.
” He looked me straight in the eye. “I just want her to be okay. She lives in Austin by herself. We’re all primarily in Primrose Hill.
” He paused for a moment. “I need to know you’ll take care of her, Cohen. That you’ll be there,” he said quietly.
I didn’t hesitate. “You have my word.”
“Good,” he ground out. “Because it’s the least you could fucking do.” His jaw flexed as he stared back down at the flames. I could tell he wanted to say more, but luckily for my sake, he swallowed it.
For now.