Chapter 21 #2
I come for him. I come so hard my vision tunnels.
He thrusts faster, growling and I feel him stiffen, I feel his warmth fill me, but I’m too busy breaking, coming like I’m going to lose my mind.
We end together in a gasping messy grind, until I’m panting for breath as he’s still inside of me, letting out a soft moan of happiness.
“Fuck, baby,” he whispers, kissing me gently. He rolls onto his side, still in me, and pulls me against his chest, holding me tight. “God, I needed that so badly. I needed you.”
“I needed you too.” I grin stupidly, but there’s a voice whispering in the back of my head. I want to ignore it, but it’s hard. “Did I, um, say anything weird? During that?”
“What do you mean?” He frowns. His gaze is heavy-lidded.
I should shut my mouth. This is stupid. But all the insecure voices hiding in the dark corners of my mind keep chattering away louder and louder. “Did I, you know, say anything weird? Like, embarrassing? God this is so stupid—“
He pulls back and looks me in the face. “No. Not at all.”
My cheeks are burning. I’m mortified, but I don’t know. I’ve never done this before and I feel like I have to ask. “Not even… you know… the slut stuff?”
“Nika, no, not at all. God, I nearly fucking came the moment you said that. You have no idea how hot that was.”
“Really?”
“I mean it.” He leans down and kisses me. “There’s no shame in this bed. You want something, you get it. What feels right is right. That’s all.”
I bury my face in his chest. I believe him, that’s the worst part. He’ll do anything for me, no matter what, and I love it. I love how badly he wants me.
“I… have to get used to this,” I mumble, feeling ridiculous.
He kisses the top of my head. “You will, trust me. We’ll go slow if you want. We’ll go filthy, fast, and dirty if you’d rather.”
I laugh, squeezing him hard. “You probably want the second one, don’t you?”
“Absolutely. There are a million things I want to do to you.”
“Like… what?”
“Like for starters, I want to spank you while you suck my cock.”
My eyebrows raise and I peek at him. “Oh… really? I bet you do.”
“I want to make you ride me. I want to get you right to the edge of coming… and take it away. Over and over again. Until you’re begging.”
My eyebrows shoot higher. “Uh… you can do that?”
“Baby… that’s the start.”
“Maybe this whole losing my virginity thing wasn’t such a bad idea.”
He laughs, holding me hard, and I let myself ease into him. I let myself trust him. Because he’s right—if it feels good, it is good. Doesn’t have to be more complicated than that. Not with him.
Aunt Yelena stays for another three days after that. I spend the mornings and afternoons with her, exploring the beach, lounging by the water, cooking and watching movies, talking about the old days.
While at night I lose myself with Gabe. He’s addictive, the way he makes me feel, like he can’t control himself around me, like I have a power over him. I start learning that I like to be teased—and I like to tease too. It’s a game we play, a fun game.
But Monday comes, the sun rises, the sand is clean and clear and the ocean is calm, and Aunt Yelena’s bags are packed.
“Back on the damn plane,” she says with a brutal sigh as Daniel throws her things into the back of his truck. “At least your husband sprang for the fancy seats this time.”
“You mean, I did. I’m the one with the money, remember?” She laughs and hugs me. I hold on to her for longer than I should. When she’s around, I feel strangely safe, like I’m a kid again.
But I’m not anymore. That changed at some point, and I can’t even say when. There’s no clear line between my childhood and whatever I am now. It’s all a gradient, one gradual step after the other, until I’m here, wishing I was still little and safe, but happy with this new phase.
“You’re going to be okay, don’t worry.” She squeezes my arm. We go for a short walk away from where Gabe’s watching along the driveway.
“Can I ask you a question? My mother—“
Yelena shakes her head sadly. “I don’t know anything about her. I’m sorry, Nikusha, I wish I could help. If you want my opinion, it’s that your mother disappeared for a reason, and sometimes people don’t want to be found."
I chew on that nervously and glance over my shoulder. Gabe waves when he catches me looking. “Maybe you’re right."
“Tell me something,” Aunt Yelena says, changing the subject. She nudges me with her elbow. “You’re falling for him, yes?”
“I, uh, I mean—“
“He’s your husband. It’s okay if you are.”
“I know, I just—“ My cheeks turn red. “I haven’t thought about it like that.”
“How else could you think about it?”
“I’m not sure. It’s new and confusing. I mean, with the whole Dragon thing, and my dad, the Bratva, and you now, he’s just—“
“Gabriel is a difficult, complicated person. But that’s more fun, yes?
Why fall in love with boring?” She wrinkles her nose, eyes sparkling.
“When I was young, back in Moscow, there was this boy named Boris. Ah, he was a mess. Drinking, drugs, fighting, but he was so much fun, so exciting. I was in love with him. Lost my mind every time he was around. He was bad in so many ways, but I couldn’t help it. ”
I perk up in surprise. “What happened to him? I’ve never seen you with a man before.”
She waves a hand. “Boris got shot in the head during an armed robbery. It happens in our world. But I learned you take what you can while you can and you don’t second-guess it. Let yourself fall for your husband. Go ahead and don’t stop it.”
“I’ll see… I mean, maybe…”
“Ah, to be young and stupid again.” She grins and hugs me tight. “I’ll miss you badly, Nikusha, but you’re good now. I’ve never seen you so strong before. I’m so proud.”
“Thank you, Toytoya. I love you.”
“I love you too, girl.”
We break apart. I walk her back to the truck, make sure her stuff is settled, and hug her one more time before she drives away with Daniel. I stand and watch them go until the truck disappears down the road.
“I have something for you,” Gabe says, sliding up behind me. He puts a hand on my lower back protectively.
I look up at him. “What’s that?”
“Yelena’s had some leftovers. I heated them up for you.”
My stomach flips. I smile like an idiot, turn to him, get on my toes, and kiss him hard. A little too hard, honestly. He laughs when we break apart.
“I take it you’re hungry?” he asks.
“Starved. Come on.” I slip my hand into his. “Let’s go feed me.”