35. Lucy
Lucy
I t feels a little weird camping out in Adriano’s father’s old suite. The rooms are now empty of all the old man’s belongings, but it’s as if his ghost still lingers. There is new furniture, most of it not even fully put together yet. I sleep on a bed with just a brand-new sheet and a lumpy pillow.
“I’m aware that I overreacted a little bit, okay?” I pace back and forth across the empty living room. Kennedy’s sitting on the floor, legs crossed, Chinese food spread out in front of her. “But he pisses me off so much.”
“You’re pregnant. You get a pass.” She grins at me, poking chopsticks in my direction. “I still can’t believe it.”
“That makes two of us.” I collapse back onto the floor and groan as I lie on my back. “Is he going to do this forever? Pull me in, love bomb me, treat me like a princess, then suddenly shove me away all over again? I’m legitimately getting whiplash.”
“He’s complicated.”
“He’s a brooding, self-absorbed prick.”
Her eyebrows raise. “A really hot brooding, self-absorbed prick.”
“I’m aware,” I grumble and stretch my legs. “Seriously, Kennedy. Am I just being stupid here? Should I go to the beach house?”
She’s quiet for a minute as she eats. I pick at some noodles, but I haven’t had much appetite lately.
It’s like I’m getting the opposite of hunger cravings.
The morning sickness hasn’t been too bad, so I’m not worried about that.
I just don’t feel like eating. Still, I force some down since it’s better for the baby.
“I think you get a say in where you live. It’s your life too. But I also understand why Adriano might want to send you far away from everything that’s going on.”
I glance at her. She knows about that stuff with Demir. I told her the full story, which was surprisingly hard. I got some trauma flashbacks toward the end. But Kennedy’s strong and comforting, and she took it all in stride.
“You think he’s right. You think I should go.” I narrow my eyes. “You’re a traitor.”
She laughs and nudges me with her toe. “That is not what I said. But come on. He’s not trying to send you to a nunnery or something because he’s ashamed of you. He watched you nearly get your brains blown out, and he’s scared, right? He wants to protect you.”
“Then he should protect me while I’m here, with him, by his side, where I belong.”
“Do you, though?” She says it very quietly. I sit up, not pleased with where this is going. “I mean, that man is clearly in love with you, right?”
I hold up my hands. “We haven’t said that yet. Don’t get too excited.”
She bursts out laughing. “Are you serious right now? Lucy, he’s so in love with you even I can see it. Come on!”
“I mean, maybe?—”
“And you’re a freak for him too. Just admit it.”
“I’m not a freak!” I sit very straight and prim. “I’m a pregnant woman with a healthy sense of what she likes and doesn’t like in the bedroom.”
“Not what I meant, but okay.”
I hesitate, shifting side to side. “I’m not going to admit anything, okay? The first time I say it should be to him.”
“That’s what I thought.” She beams at me. “You two are so into each other it’s sickening. But I’m happy for you.”
“So what should I do? Stay here and keep this whole thing up?” I gesture all around me. “Go back to his room and listen to him trying to send me away again? Or just go to the beach?”
“Could be worse. He could be sending you to Nebraska.”
“Don’t hate on the Cornhuskers.”
“Do what feels right. Sorry, I don’t have better advice here. You have a baby to worry about now, though.”
I groan and fall onto my back again. Kennedy’s right; I should be prioritizing the baby over everything. Doesn’t that mean doing the hard thing and leaving my husband?
We talk for a little while longer before she leaves. I hug her hard at the door. “Thanks for still being my friend.”
“You’re still worried about that? Babe, I’m not going anywhere. You’re my bestie for life.”
“You’re mine too.”
I squeeze her tight then let her go. I wave as she drives off.
Back inside, I head upstairs. My head’s a mess, thinking about what’s best for the baby. I hate the idea of letting myself get sent away, but maybe he’s right. Now that I’m thinking with a night of sleep and a clear head, I can almost see his point.
I find him in his office. He doesn’t notice me right away, and I get to observe him for a second. He’s tense, as if the world is hanging off his shoulders, and I can almost smell the anxiety from here.
His father fell sick with a terrible disease, forgot all about him, and died recently.
Then he went to war and was betrayed by a close friend.
Then he nearly lost me moments before learning that I’m pregnant with his baby.
This marriage has been hard on him, but Adriano’s strong.
He can handle it. I know he can handle it all.
His eyes meet mine, and the tension disappears.
It’s night and day. When he didn’t know I was here, the clouds were covering the sun. And now that he’s looking at me, the smile on his face is like a perfect afternoon.
That decides it for me.
“I’m not leaving.”
His smile falters. “Is that what you came to say?”
“You need me.” I walk into his office and march over to his desk. I stand in front of him, my hands on my hips. “Don’t pretend like you don’t.”
He leans back, looking amused. “And why do you think I need you so badly?”
“Because you’re drowning.” I move closer. “Stop it, don’t look at me like that. You looked like hell a second ago, but when you realized I was in the doorway, suddenly all that stress faded away. You need me here.”
His expression softens, and he reaches out a hand. I let him tug me closer. He sits up straight, hugging me, pressing his ear flat to my belly. His hands grip my ass.
“You’re right,” he says.
I stiffen in surprise. “I am?”
“You’re my everything. I could barely sleep last night, and you were only on the other side of the house. But this isn’t about me.”
“I know we have to think about the baby over everything else now. But you’re my priority too, and I’m not going to leave you at your darkest. You lost your father. You lost Frank. You’re not going to lose me too.” I force him to look up into my eyes. “I swear, Adriano. I’m not going anywhere.”
There’s a flicker of emotion on his face.
I’m fighting back tears. The second the words come out, I know they’re the truth.
I needed to tell him that because I’ve been worried about that same thing from the very start.
He’s afraid of losing me to violence, and I’ve been afraid of losing him because he doesn’t actually care about me.
But we’re both wrong. He can keep me safe. And I know he loves me as much as I love him.
“You really would like the beach house,” he says, his smile coming back.
“I bet I would. We’ll take a vacation there when things settle down.”
“I’d like that.” He tugs me to him and kisses me deep and slow. “Never again, Lucy. If you really mean it, I’ll never try to send you away again. You’ll be by my side forever.”
“That’s all I want.”
“Good. Amore mio .” He kisses me deeper. “I love you, Lucy. You’re right. I need you. I can’t keep doing this without you here.”
“I love you too.”
I throw myself at him, desperately seeking his mouth, kissing him and whimpering against him like an animal.
God, this is what I’ve been wanting for so long, a man who loves me for who I am and not for my last name.
He stands and shoves his desk clear, and we spend the next few hours fucking each other dry, whispering how in love we are, how we’ll never be apart again, and I mean every word.