Chapter 8
LIV
BECAUSE I GOT HIGH - AFROMAN
If I have to watch this man try to cram himself into the booth around the table one more time, I think I’m going to scream.
“I like those ladies.” Niko laughs a little, the sound almost like a manly giggle as he spreads a blanket over the seats. “They’re fun.”
I roll my eyes as I lean against the closet. “You’re only saying that because Caroline made you hit her joint.”
“Maybe.” He shrugs and starts piling pillows on the booth. “I’m more relaxed, this is true.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“Also true.”
“Then what did I say?”
Niko flashes me a smile that makes my stomach flip. “I think they’re fun because I have a buzz. I’m listening, Olive.”
This man.
“Buzzed is the key word, though. I’m not high. It’s been a long time but two puffs isn’t going to get me stoned enough to start liking people without a valid reason.”
Niko finishes making up his spot with a yawn then takes a step back to look things over. He scratches his chin as he stares thoughtfully for a second then he shrugs to himself and turns to face me.
“You should have hit the joint.”
“Is that so?”
He nods. “You’d be relaxed, too.”
“Because I’m not?”
“Exactly. You’re not.”
I arch a brow as I watch him stretch. “What am I, then?”
“Tense.” Niko points a finger at me to drive his argument home. “Just look at you.”
I glance down at my baggy t-shirt and sweatpants then meet his eyes. “I think I’m pretty relaxed.”
“Hardly.”
“Whatever you say.” I chuckle and shake my head. “Still want to go grocery shopping tomorrow?”
“Maybe. Have to see how late I sleep.” Niko grabs the bottom of his shirt then stops and stares at me.
Which is obviously my slightly stoned cue that he wants to go to bed.
“Just let me know, I guess.” I push off the closet and chew my lip, debating whether or not I can handle the idea of him becoming a human Charlie horse on that booth again. “Good night.”
“Good night, Olive.”
He grins as I roll my eyes. “See you in the morning, Nikolai.”
After stepping into the bedroom and closing the door, I immediately start pacing at the end of the queen-size bed.
This is a predicament I wasn’t anticipating.
Not yet, anyway. I knew at some point I’d feel guilty enough about where he’s sleeping to make him take the bedroom but I didn’t expect it five nights into a trip he wasn’t supposed to come on.
I also didn’t expect part of the dilemma to be because I want him to sleep in here with me instead of just giving up the room to him.
I’ve always been weird about my nest. Since that’s what the bedroom has become, it’s not unexpected for me to be weird about that, either. This, however, is a different kind of weird.
Having a nest was always such a sore spot.
At home, back in Skaneateles, I wasn’t allowed to have one.
I presented extremely early—we all do on my mother’s side—and that’s why I was separated from her at such a young age.
My time spent under my father’s roof as an omega was so brief there was hardly a need for a nest at the house, but I knew I couldn’t have one, anyway.
There couldn’t be any sign of my designation whether I was living with him or not.
I didn't have one when he sent me away, either. Not even when I had my first heat.
No meds, no help, no nest.
It’s amazing I survived, and as soon as I recovered, I left.
Living with Hayk, my nest wasn’t actually mine. Hell, it wasn’t even really an omega’s nest for that matter, either.
I had one, I was able to give a little input into what was in it, but one entire wall was a two-way mirror.
One alphas could watch me through, or watch themselves depending on which side they paid for.
Either way, I was only allowed to use it when I went into heat, and I never had anyone in it that I invited myself.
I was just grateful that eventually when someone paid to watch from the outside, Emery, Dante and Jay were the ones who came in. I didn’t invite them but at least I knew I would be safe with them.
That carried over into our time as a pack, though.
In between the various circles of hell and bouts in purgatory I experienced, my nest was thrown together crudely, it was temporary, and it was disposable.
So when we bought our house, I built my first real one, spent way too much time in there alone, and my mates were only allowed inside when I was in heat.
I don’t put the same importance on having a nest that I’m sure other omegas do, and my natural instinct to build one is the only reason I’ve had one in some cases.
Like now.
The bedroom of the RV has slowly turned into a nest of sorts and I’m sure the longer I’m living here the more will be added, I just didn’t think I’d want to add a whole ass person to it.
But I do.
I really want Niko in here with me. I want to share my space with him, I want his scent mixed up with mine and I’m kidding myself if I think I can pass off that desire as a good deed so he doesn’t end up paralyzed from sleeping at the kitchen table.
I’m way too crotchety for something like that, which means everything going on inside my head about that gorgeous man is so much more than I knew it to be.
“Fuck.”
I pause mid-step as I hear him cuss, waiting a few seconds before it’s followed by two quick thuds and something in Russian.
I listen a little longer as I creep toward the door and as soon as it sounds like Niko is about to break something, I whip open the accordion slats because I’ve officially had enough.
“Get in there,” I say as I step in front of the closet and point into the bedroom.
Niko smacks his head on the table as he jumps, the giant omega somehow underneath it. “What?”
“In there. Now.”
“Was I bothering you?” He crawls out slowly, careful to avoid hitting any more body parts on the furniture before he kneels at my feet. “I wasn’t trying to.”
Oh dear.
This is not good. Not good at all. Especially if he actually agrees to start sharing the bedroom with me.
Niko on his knees in nothing but his underwear, looking up at me with big, brown, sad puppy-dog eyes and an expression to match, is officially my weakness.
A weakness that makes me want to hold him until he doesn’t think he did something wrong anymore, and kiss the shit out of him because his vulnerability is sexy as hell.
This is the first time I’ve seen the omega in him, really seen the same traits I have reflected in this man, and it does something to me and my little battered heart.
“You have never bothered me, Niko.” I sigh as I reach out to push a few blond strands of hair behind his ear. “I came out here because I heard you and was worried.”
He scoots closer, so close his knees are touching my bare toes. “Yeah?”
I nod.
“It was the Russian, wasn’t it?”
I snort and shake my head. “It was the series of loud thumps followed by the Russian. Sounded painful.”
“Maybe,” he says as he shrugs and lifts his hands to grab onto the legs of my sweats. “I have a hard head.”
“I believe it.” I giggle a bit because he’s cute but I can’t help but hope it’ll drown out how loud my heart is beating as it races in my chest. “I don’t want you sleeping out here anymore.”
“Truck?”
“No.”
He straightens up, his fingers walking along the cotton material as he puts himself eye level with my chest. His gaze doesn’t stray from mine, though. “Caroline and Tessa?”
I roll my eyes and scoff, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Gonna leave me for the good weed?”
“Never.” I freeze as Niko’s palms slide over my hips and he flexes his fingers against them, his face serious and almost stern as he pulls me forward just a bit. “I’m never leaving you, Liv. Promise.”
“Okay,” I whisper as I swallow hard.
“Not even for the good weed.” A huge grin splits his handsome face as he squeezes my hips once more and hops to his feet. “Even that eventually goes bad.” Niko presses a kiss to my forehead then darts around me and leaps onto the bed.
I blow out a breath and clutch my stomach, fighting the urge to touch the spot he kissed, then pull the door closed.
“Oh, this is nice.” I turn to see Niko sprawled on his stomach, his face buried in the pillows while his hands and feet point toward each corner of the mattress. “Is this shit memory foam?”
“Yes.”
“Oh yes, Liv,” he mumbles. “So goddamn good.”
Thank god he can’t see me.
Not only is my face most likely beet red, but what he just said and how he said it has me squeezing my thighs together. Tightly. This man does something to me I’m not sure anyone has before, and I really don’t know what to do with that.
It’s a little scary, if I’m being honest.
“You coming?”
I blink a few times as I lift my eyes to the bed and despite the violent butterflies taking flight in my belly, I can’t help but smile.
Niko is under all the blankets, laying on his side with his back against the wall, and he’s holding the covers up waiting for me. There’s just enough space for me to curl up next to him, and he even has his arm stretched out under my favorite pillow so I can.
Nodding, I flip the switch and kill the big light then try to calm my nerves as I climb into bed next to him.
But that’s what does it.
The second I’m under the pile of fuzzy fleece, Niko wraps me in them, pulling me against his chest and tucking my face in the crook of his neck. He tangles our legs and wiggles around a bit before he takes a deep breath then sighs in contentment.
He calms my nerves.
Being close to him, touching him, breathing in his lavender embers scent.
Niko is the calm I need, and I think this is what my heart has been trying to tell me all along.
I just need to get the rest of me on board so I can keep him. Otherwise I’m going to fuck this up and I don’t think I can handle anymore loss.