Chapter 24
DIMITRI
CRAZY TRAIN - OZZY OSBOURNE
I’ve been waiting almost two hours for the club to open, and chain smoking the entire time.
Employees have been slowly trickling in for the last half hour.
Styx, Leon, and Ransom, Cole and his sister.
They got here before everyone else, they usually do, then Alexei and his crew followed close behind.
Dancers and security started rolling up after that and as the seconds ticked by, I started to feel a little panicky.
Definitely not something I’m used to feeling.
I don’t fucking like it.
The thought of Niko not showing up tonight, especially after our run in last night, had me seconds from exploding and when I started thinking about Row staying home with him, that’s when it really hit.
Not because they’d be together. It would be stupid to think anything other than the two of them being together.
It hit me hard because it would mean I hurt him, again, and Row was taking care of him the way I should take care of him.
She’d be comforting Niko, consoling him.
Row would be the one to hold him and soothe him through his pain.
She’d be the mate he deserves, be the partner I should have been from the start, and it was like I could feel Niko slipping through my fingers all over again.
I take another hit off my cigarette and lift my free hand to my chest, rubbing hard over the center as those thoughts fill my head.
Nikolai is one of the purest souls I’ve ever met.
Yeah, sure, we’ve been killing people since we were old enough to navigate a hit without a babysitter, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be the best man I’ve ever known.
He is, without a doubt, and that’s why I was never going to be good enough to be his alpha.
Attempting to carry out a hit on him was the icing on the cake, and all I did was prove myself right in the process.
It hasn’t stopped me from loving him. Nothing could stop me from doing that but it still doesn’t make me worthy of his love in return. It doesn’t make me the man he needs let alone the mate he deserves.
Niko found that in Row.
The way she came at me proved it.
She was ready to tear me apart on his behalf. Hell, she probably would have if I hadn’t grabbed her wrist.
Row loves him, and there’s no doubt in my mind that Niko feels the same for her. What else would make her react that way?
I’ve been in her shoes, been in the same fucking situation and reacted the same fucking way because of how much I love Nikolai. He’s hard not to love with your entire heart, and Row obviously does.
I’m not jealous of her, not at all surprisingly. If anything I’m grateful that my omega has her. I’m glad he hasn’t been alone, and I’m glad he’s with people who love him the way he deserves to be loved. I’m not jealous of that, I just wish I could be a part of it.
I’m sure I can thank Styx and Leon for that, for coming to terms with the truth and my feelings on it.
Pouring my heart out to them wasn’t something I planned on doing, last night or ever, but it was apparently something I needed to do because once I started, I couldn’t stop.
I told them everything; from the time I met Niko when we were kids, all the way through childhood, our teen years, adulthood, bonding, and ended the tragic love story with Row threatening me because she obviously knows what happened between my mate and I.
Which I also talked about in too much detail, I’m sure.
They opened the flood gates, a dam fucking burst, and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it.
I haven’t had anyone since I lost Niko, though, and whether it’s the bonds between us or the violent urge to talk to anyone willing to listen about my life, sharing with them helped.
Only to a degree.
I didn’t sleep at all last night, I couldn’t, and my pacing the halls of his apartment pissed Alexei off to the point of kicking me out at three in the morning.
I drove around for a while after that, until I wound up here.
I fell asleep for a couple of hours in the front seat of my truck, but it was restless and I woke up feeling like complete shit.
Physically and emotionally. After that I decided to go get coffee and another pack of smokes, and I came back to wait a few more hours for things to get moving at the club.
I was relieved to see that normalcy, the hustle and bustle of KO opening, and to see Leon and Styx show up. Knowing they’re on the property will help when I find my balls and go inside. It even helped me calm down a little more.
Right up until a huge part of the staff got here and there was still no sign of my omega. Either of my omegas, or our big ass alpha.
That’s when the panic kicked up again and every worst case scenario I could conjure started running through my mind on a loop.
The only reason I didn’t come completely unglued while I wondered why the hell Niko wasn’t here yet was because I knew he was with them. He was with Row and Rune, and that meant he was safe. I could be sure of that, at least.
But it didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt or upset, or he didn’t convince them to pack up their shit and leave.
Then again, Row matched with Leon, so maybe leaving wouldn’t be so easy.
Even so, I’ve been freaking the fuck out and smoking myself to an early grave but watching that huge pickup pull into their normal spot has me calming down again.
Not enough to stop smoking or get out of my truck, but that’s because while I was sitting here, I decided to take Styx’s advice and talk to Row before I talk to Niko again.
I shouldn’t have done that. Shouldn’t have found him and cornered him.
I couldn’t stop myself, though, not when I could smell his lavender embers so strongly that I knew I wasn’t dreaming. I had to see him, to make sure he was real. I needed to touch him with my own two hands, needed his scent replacing all of the oxygen in my lungs.
But I shouldn’t have done it like that.
Especially when what I was hoping would be a shitty conversation about why I tried to kill him at his cabin turned into me getting pissed about the fact that Niko was hiding who he really is and not telling me why.
Throwing his mate in my face didn’t help either, but no matter what, I handled that entire situation wrong.
Styx said Row was the way to go and I tend to agree after getting a good look at my face.
I agree now.
Last night, I did not.
Niko is my fucking scent match, my bonded omega, and I didn’t like the implication that I needed to get permission from Sparrow in order to have anything to do with him.
That pissed me off and I acted like an ass, but I know he’s right.
I lost the right to Nikolai in any capacity when I tried to kill him and the only hope I have of making things right is working with Row to do it. Especially since she's my soul bond who’s bonded to my mate.
I have to play nice so I don’t lose Niko or anyone else I’m supposed to be with.
Fucking levelheaded beta spitting truth.
The problem is, I don’t know how to play nice. Not when I want to know why the fuck my omega has been hiding in plain sight and living in secret for the sake of the woman he loves.
I’d do the same thing for him, I was going to do the same thing a couple of years ago so I know what that emotion can drive people to do and I’m not questioning that, but I knew why we’d have been running back then. It’s the same reason I’m running now.
That scares me.
What kind of shit has Niko gotten himself into since we’ve been apart? What are he and Row wrapped up in to make them wear masks and go by aliases? What the fuck has her so scared that this was the only way to protect them?
I need to know what they’re running from.
I smash my cigarette out on the dashboard as I watch Rune follow my omegas into the club, the back door closing behind them before I bail out of my truck and start in that direction.
I’m hoping to get Sparrow alone once everyone is settled, and the only thing that could stop me at this point is me.
Rune usually watches the door between organizations, blocking KO patrons from wandering down to the auction house without an invite, but Styx said he’s on the Red Rooms tonight because one of their regulars is out sick.
That’s another good place for the big guy, honestly.
The Adders are pretty on top of who they allow into that space, but you can’t anticipate every single thing that’s going to happen in the Red Rooms at any given time.
Even the most respectable alphas can act like pieces of shit when the mood strikes, and in an enclosed space where multiple omegas could be in heat while surrounded by the sounds and smells of sex definitely means a good alpha can turn into a piece of hot garbage quickly.
They probably won’t with Rune back there. At least they’ll think twice about it if they have an IQ higher than an earthworm, anyway.
Niko will be back down with Alexei’s crew tonight.
He’s working with Tobias and Aspen on the omega quarters in the auction house while they’re still empty, and knowing him the way I do, my mate is going to be so focused on making things better for those omegas, he won’t come up for air until someone goes down and gets him.
Styx was on board but the idea didn’t originate with him, and I like that Ransom saw my mate and thought he would be a good fit for that role.
It’s a smart business move, making sure my cousin’s bullshit doesn’t taint their reputation or bring unwanted attention to the other services the club provides.
It also keeps the product happy, which means happy buyers who become repeat customers, and Alexei wasn’t about to shut that down.
I just have to make sure he doesn’t get any ideas about Niko, or that he makes the connection between us.