Chapter 28
RUNE
LONELY DAY - SYSTEM OF A DOWN
Iplop down with a grunt and a frown, sweat dripping from every inch of my body after my run with Rus, and watch Olive lay down in the grass, curl up on her side and wrap her arm around Bee.
She lets out a long sigh as she scratches behind the doberman’s ear, speaking softly to her in a way that makes it seem like they’re sharing secrets.
It’s sweet how they are together, how affectionate and loving my omega is with them, and how gentle and in tune my dogs are with her.
Even with their size and borderline-militant training, they can be such softies for my pack, and the boys are no different from Bee.
Cy is laying behind Olive right now, the two back to back while Rus trots over and sniffs her face before he sits by her head, taking up his post so he can keep watch.
Always protecting her. Always guarding everyone in our pack.
I normally love watching Olive interact with my dogs—our dogs—and even though seeing them like they are now brings a smile to my face, there’s a certain level of emptiness thrumming alongside it.
Maybe not emptiness, that might not be the right word.
Hollow doesn’t feel right, either.
Melancholy seems closer to describing the tightness in my chest, to the overall weight sitting on my shoulders, but I’m struggling to find the right way of explaining it, even if it’s just to myself.
Bee lays her head down and scoots closer to Olive, the two almost nose to nose and when a small, sad smile touches my omega’s lips, what I’m feeling finally clicks.
Loneliness.
I’m not sure if it’s because of my lack of education, or if it's because things like scent matches and relationships are still so new for me, but I thought when you bond with someone, you’re supposed to be happy.
Bonding with five other people should mean I feel like life can’t get any better than this. I should be content and complete. I should feel like I’m finally whole.
There’s a large part of me that does. Most of me, if I’m being honest, but there’s this strange nagging sensation, a gut feeling that’s keeping me from fully settling into our new normal.
I’m on edge, I’m worried, and I feel slightly alone.
Then again, that’s not how I’m feeling.
At my core, I do feel complete.
I have five mates who love me unconditionally. Alphas and omegas, a beta who all want me in their space, who need me the same way I need them. We have a home, we’re building a life together.
Never in almost forty years did I expect for things to turn out this way.
I didn’t believe I deserved it, that I was worthy of a bright future full of the things I’d always longed for but knew I’d never have.
My mates have shown me otherwise, and that’s why I finally feel like I’m whole.
The other feelings that contradict all of that? Those are from Olive.
I don’t need to understand that part of biting and bonding with someone to know it’s true.
The edginess, the worry and anxiety, the bone-deep sadness that comes in waves, the guilt and anger that stab like tiny needles, it’s all from my omega.
She feels alone because she’s carrying around those other emotions.
She’s isolating because she doesn’t think she should feel that way, she doesn’t think she can explain why she’s anything other than happy now that we’ve all bonded.
Olive isn’t allowing herself to be all of those things at once, as if they can’t exist together, as if she can’t be happy and sad or mad at the same time, not when the conflicting emotions are about two different packs.
So, she’s pulling away.
It’s only been about two days since she and Niko’s heat cycles ended, and the moment they did, Olive put up a wall and started using it to separate herself from the rest of us.
We’ve all felt it through the bond, each of us have heard bits and pieces through the link, but our girl won’t actually talk to any of us about it.
Which is why I must be naive to how this all works.
Clearly mating and bonding doesn’t fix everything, it doesn’t make problems and concerns disappear, and I’m afraid Olive thinks it’s only going to complicate matters further than she perceives them to be already.
If she’d just talk to us, I know we could help her understand things more clearly.
“She’s stubborn,” Styx says as he slides onto the picnic table next to me. “And that means we’re going to have to force her to talk to us about it.”
I nod, slowly pulling my gaze from Olive to meet his gun metal grey eyes and I wipe the sweat from my brow. “I know, and I don’t like it.”
He gives me a sympathetic smile then leans in and kisses me before resting his head on my shoulder. “I don’t either, but Liv’s past is the problem, not the present and future she shares with us. It’s like she doesn’t think they can all coexist.”
Exactly.
That’s exactly what she thinks, and it’s because she believes she needs to rectify the past to achieve closure, all so she can live in the present and plan for the future without being torn or having guilt.
“It’s all understandable, really, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating for the rest of us enlightened ones.”
I smile a little and go back to watching our omega. “How do we make her talk?”
Styx chuckles as he links his arm through mine. “You make it sound like we’re one more minute of silence away from waterboarding her.”
“If you think it would work…”
“Look at you having a sense of humor,” he says with a laugh. “It’s sexy on you, big guy, but I think our girl is tougher than almost all the interrogation methods out there.”
I nod and reach for the tennis ball at my feet. “Intervention?”
“Intervention,” he says firmly as he pulls his phone from his pocket. “I’ll call in the troops. Leon wanted to see how much lye he had left, and he took D and Niko to show off how well his cleanup method works, so they're still in the woods.”
Of course he did.
I might be the largest alpha in our pack, but Leon is easily the biggest.
Big dick energy is what Styx calls it.
His dick is definitely not small, neither are any of the other males’ in the pack, but I’m not really sure about the energy coming off of it. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure if any of us have energy that comes from our dicks.
Pheromones? Probably, yes. Ridiculous amounts of cum? Absolutely. I’ve just never heard of a dick having its own energy let alone a kind that is big, and something other people pick up on, but I’ll save those questions for another day.
“They’re on the way. I think I’m going to go grab some snacks,” my beta says as he tucks his phone back into his jeans and gets to his feet. “If we’re going to have to trap her, snacks might help.”
I nod and give him a small smile because he’s right, then watch as Styx heads back to the barn until he disappears from sight.
This is not going to be an easy thing for us to tackle.
Olive is so closed off right now she might not be open to talking about anything, serious or not, and I doubt trapping her with the five of us is going to go very well.
Maybe I should try first.
I’m the worst out of all of us when it comes to conversation, and despite how hard I’ve tried, I still struggle with wording things correctly, but maybe if I try to speak with Olive one on one, she won’t get so defensive.
Which is exactly what’s going to happen.
She’ll get defensive, feel attacked and cornered, and that will make her run.
Yeah, I think I should try to talk to her before the others get back.
“I don’t have anything to talk about, Rune,” Olive says as soon as I’m close enough to hear her.
I stop next to my omega, throw the tennis ball once all three dogs notice I have it then look down at her beautiful face as she squints up at me, trying to shield her pretty eyes from the sun. “Do not lie to me, Olive.”
“Fine,” she huffs. “I don’t have anything I want to talk about. Is that better?”
“No.”
“Rune.”
“Olive,” I say firmly, mirroring her tone as I offer her my hand. “It’s important.”
She stares at me a little longer, one thin brow arched for a moment before she sighs in defeat and reaches for me. “I don’t like that I can’t say no to you.”
“I know.” I pull her to her feet and tension eases from my body when Olive instantly wraps her arms around my waist, hugging me tightly as she rubs her cheek against my bare chest.
“I can’t say no to any of you,” she mumbles against my skin. “And I don’t like that, either.”
I hold her close and grin as she takes a deep breath, a happy little hum escaping her on the exhale. “I know that, too.”
“I still don’t want to talk about anything.”
“Can’t say no,” I grunt as she runs her nose across the sweat on my chest before dragging her tongue across my nipple. “That won’t work, either.”
Olive lifts her head and smirks before she nearly growls at me. “I don’t want to do this.”
“I don’t think you have a choice.”
“I don’t get why the five of you won’t just leave me alone about this.
It’s not like I’ve kept you in the dark, I just don’t want to get into all of the details.
” She lets go of me and starts pulling her hair up into a ponytail.
“They don’t matter, not to any of you. It’s my problem, I’m the one who has to solve it. ”
“You’re so fucking full of shit,” Niko growls as the rest of our pack returns. “Pretending like that’s even an option now. We’re bonded, Liv, all six of us. Your problems are ours, so quit trying to be a martyr.”
“He has a pretty solid point, little bird,” Leon says as he slaps her on the ass. “You aren’t saving anyone by keeping secrets.”
Dimitri lights a cigarette and nods. “If anything, you’re going to make it worse.”
“You’re one to talk,” Olive huffs.
“We just want to help, love.” Styx hands her a bag of Starburst Minis and a can of Sprite before she can keep arguing. “Pack life, remember?”
Olive aggressively tears open her snack, digs through the bag then tosses a handful of the tiny candies into her mouth. “That’s exactly the problem.”